Thursday, December 31

Discernment and Boundaries Spare Us From Grief 12/31/15


Craziness, joy and growth.
       
         Best words describing 2015.
"The prudent man sees a danger and withdraws.  The simple continue and suffer for it."                                  Proverbs 27:12.  
          This observation is an antidote. 

           It helped me handle over-the-top circumstances faced this year.  I was insane during portions of this year.  During the year, I let go of the reins of caution.

           I was seduced by circumstances too good to be true.  The golden proverb above helped me retain a grip on common sense.  More than once, it guided me when I was drunk this past year. 

           I was imbibing too much joy.  The passage above helped me regain emotional sobriety.  I was able to focus once again upon reality.  This proverb guided the growth spurt I had this year.

        Thank you, for joining me as the end of this year draws near.  

          Within min-utes, my town will celebrate with a half-hour cacophony of fireworks popping within the community.  A new year filled with mys-tery and promise will be ushered in a moment normally known for silence and slumber.  The hopes of many soar during this witching time when the year changes its name.  Many anticipate 2016 will be better than the one just ending.

        Goals are pledg-ed for the new year. Many are not true goals.  Not if the aspirations do not have a time frame-work.  Not if they lack a plan with concrete steps attached.  For most, their aspira-tions are wishes, dreams.  

       They lack specificity. Having such plans is flying in a cloud bank without an instrument panel. We won't arrive at our destination.  If the dreams we have do not work in the new year, change them.  Make them measurable.

      Make the goals realistic.  But never change the goal. If necessity is the mother of invention, persistence is its father. Accomplishing what we want requires ongoing effort.

        Observations of this year from the innkeeper:

1. People com-plain. But, doing the work to make their life better, many don't do.  If we are not scared, it isn't courage we need.  Growth requires effort, discipline and pain. Or progress does not happen. I won't rescue some-one who does not want to rescue himself.

2. We scar others and ourselves when we avoid harmful people.  Having a blind eye towards angry people only fans the fire of harm they create.  It allows them to continue on, consuming others with their manipulative, predatory ways. When we ignore their behavior, we allow the bull of their selfishness to continue raging.  They have nothing stopping them from inflicting pain on those who cross their path.

     Emotional vampires suck the life out of others.

      They are those who brighten a room by leaving it.  They are curmudgeons, sarcastic, critical, and manipulative people.  These emotional Draculas are only stopped by the wooden stake of confrontation.  Our passivity emboldens them.  It lets them bite into others with their selfish agenda.

3. We scar irresponsible people by ignoring their behavior or compensating for it.  Making excuses for slackers is looking the other way.  We let them escape the personal load of duties. We are not making them responsible for their lives.

     We do not help bullies by being nice.

     We cross bounda-ries when we enable others through our passivity.  People need to ex-perience the natural outcome of their negative behavior. They need to reap what they sow. Otherwise, there is no motivation for changing their character.

    It's a poor idea, co-signing another person's life, bailing them out. We pay the price for their misdeeds. We pay for their false beliefs. We enable unacceptable behavior. How?  By covering for their poor choices and lack of character.

4. Often we are not being nice, when we think we are.  It isn't loving, overlooking abusive or lazy behavior.  It is not being kind ex-cusing irresponsible people.  No, it isn't being altruistic.  It's putting lipstick on the pig of unreliable and thoughtless behavior.
"Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."                                                              Proverbs 27: 6
     It is still unattractive.  Even though we glam it up with our rescuing efforts.  We are naive.  It is lacking courage, not confronting.  We fear speaking the truth, saying what we want.  We fear upsetting manipulators and narcissists.

     This is being boundaryless.  It is passive and gullible behavior.

     It is important, standing in our power.  When we do, we are applying the recovery earned through work on our char-acter.  It is critical being true to our values.  This is integrity.  We do not want to relent to the manipulation of others.  If we do, we sell ourselves short.

     When we act this way, we are guaranteed depression.  Our resent-ments will grow.  See this post for more info about speaking our truth.  It talks about winning the Grand Prix of life---daily.
    "Do not relate with an angry man       or you will learn his ways."                                       Proverbs 22:24
      Not only that, we are letting that person influence/damage impres-sionable others.  Like your children, or others who hang around him.

5.  It is good, re-lating with strongly motivated, disci-plined people.  We are the average of the five people we relate with.  If others don't want to make the effort to improve their lives, our rescue efforts will not help.

     Personal growth comes from inter-nal motivation, not prodding.  We save ourselves grief when we admit this fact.  I relate with someone who is blind.  Not physically.  He's blind to common sense.

       I leave this person in God's hands.  There's only one God. I am not Him.  This is Step One in recovery.  We realize we are powerless over others.

6. Being passive is not being passive.  It is dishonesty.  It is lying.  Often, it isn't doing what we said we would do, or being true to our values.  It lacks honor.

     We are not living with authenticity when we are passive.We are not respecting ourselves.  It lets down those who  trust us.

7. Growth is not internalizing a problem.  It is not a matter of more research.  It is not solving issues apart from others.  Growth happens as a result of living in a compassionate, loving com-munity.  By ourselves, we do not have all the resources to handle what life dishes out.  In community, we do.  What I lack, others have.

8.  Growth happens when we move from our Victim Story.   This story consists of the excuses we give for failure.  It is seeing life from the scars of our past.  Our Victim Story is a flashlight with a de-fective lens.  It is viewing life negatively.

      It is not acknowledging the good qualities we have.  It is not view-ing our successes, when we struggle.  It is seeing life from all our past failures and pain.

      We want to see from the searchlight of who we truly are, now.  All the positive qualities we have.  They far outweigh the nega-tive we see in ourselves.  Especially when we are troubled.  We are not living in recovery when we allow the past to damage our self-image.

      Wishing you a fantastic New Year!

Friday, December 25

My Favorite Christmas Story 12/25/15

Taken from my favorite Christmas book,
The Christ Child, Illustrated by Miska and
 Maud Petersham 
     Merry Christmas.  That each guest of this inn has a lovely day, is my wish.  I know I will.

     What is Christmas?  Nope, it isn't about gifts.  It's about

Wednesday, December 23

My Second Favorite Christmas Story 12/23/15

      If you missed the previous season-related tale, my third favorite, you can find it here.  
      I wrote the following in 2011.   You may not be familiar with it. 
      Wishing you a peaceful and happy Christmas,                         ThInnkeeper

                         ***********************************
     Gather round the fireplace warming this inn.  You may be frazzled by the call of Madison Avenue.  QVC and the Home Shopping Network assault you with gifts options for loved ones.  Commercials from

Tuesday, December 22

My Third Favorite Christmas Story 12/22/15

WWII photo of the Ardennes Forest
       Good evening, one and all. I hope life is treating you well. For many, this is a frantic, mater-ialistic season.       
             
         Needn't be so.  In the inn, we're having a countdown for the biggest day of this month.  For this, and the next few days, I am sharing stories I've written related to Christmas.  My  hope is

Friday, December 18

Calmness in the Eye of the Storm, Revised ........... 12/18/15

      I am posting this today.  Many guests of this inn were not  around, when it was writ-ten more than four years ago. I've revised it.  Here it is:

     It's impor-tant sheltering ourselves.  Like the fellow in this picture. 

     Especially when over-whelmed by the waves of

Monday, December 7

There's a New Innkeeper........ 12/7/15

          Completed a marathon.

         And beginning another. When I got home at 10:00 p.m., after spending two days in Sacramento, I collapsed.  On the couch.  Unable to get up for

Tuesday, December 1

Holding Everything With an Open Hand, Feeling Grace 12/1/15

Image: "England: Cumbria: Dalt Wood"  by Tim Blessed.
Copyrighted photo. Used by permission. 
     There was balance to the day.  Even though I traveled more than two hundred miles this evening.  I rose at 6:00 a.m.  Throughout the day, I made time to breathe, mentally, as well as physically. Slowing down nurtured my inner self.  It helped me keep company with my thoughts.  I held them- - - examined them--- gently, during downtime that was inserted between today's appointments.

      It feels good taking care of myself.  More relaxed, I am.

Gratitudes for Tuesday: 
1.  It's nurturing and satisfying, celebrating life. That happened today.  It takes place when I let go of control of people and outcomes.  It's an accomplishment---and can be a struggle---holding everything with an open hand.

     I am.

     Relationships, the future and my career are treated with this perspective.  That is possible when I am not anxious or fearful. When I am mindful that I am a loved and innocent man, it's easy to let go of my controlling death grip on my circumstances and relationships with others.

    That's only possible when I am live within a nurturing community.  I do.  Freedom from anxiety is  knowing recovery from codependency. It involves overcoming scars from my past.  I have.
2.  Grace was revealed at a business meeting I attended in Sacramento tonight.  It is a marvel, feeling its presence.  Always uplifting. 
3.  I enjoyed the catharsis felt when penning my previous post.  I like the craft involved when writing.  It's about adding, through subtracting.  Verbal sculpting, it is.
4.  Feeling God flow through me today was humbling.  Relaxing, too.  I don't take such occasions for granted.  While working with one client, stuff came out of my mouth that I didn't know I had within me.

    It was a special positive time.  I had to make a note of what I said.  I didn't want to lose the moment.

    I am tired. I'll add to this post tomorrow. After getting rest.

How About You? 
What are your three gratitudes for today?  I'd love hearing from you.

Saturday, November 28

Facing Fear 11/28/15

       There is no suc-cess without pain.  Sometimes progress means little sleep. At times, there is no time to eat.  It re-quires denying ourselves, pushing beyond our limits.

       We can't become the person we want to be by remaining the way we are. "Success depends not merely in how well we do the things we enjoy, but in how conscientiously we perform the duties that we don't."  John Maxwell, Developing the Leader Within You.

       Tonight required every ounce of me.  The evening was good. Fear was faced.  Big time.  My heart pumped wildly.

       It felt as if I was at the end of a seven mile run.  I could barely breathe.  Tak-ing the next step without analyzing, is what I did.  I was present.

       More than twenty calls, I made.  This is part of my Sacramento training.  Donations for a good cause I sought.  Eighteen calls were with people I did not know.  The responses were beyond my imagin-ation.

     Every. Person. Said. Yes.  I was stunned. Earlier, I had visions of quitting, giving up.  I thought of bailing out in the last mile of this four month training marathon.  I felt like throwing away all the hard work I've done, wasting the thousands of miles I traveled to Sacra-mento.

      No way could I accom-plish this assignment. That was my mental chatter. I was certain.  I was also cer-tainly wrong.

       Being exhausted, coupled with a migraine headache didn't help.  Fear crippled me.  Feelings of failure overwhelmed me.  I was sunk beneath a pile of negative feelings.  That's when the value of living within a caring community kicked in.

       It helped me spit out the dust of despair. I was gulping it down when sprawled on the ground of despair.
 
       Stuart.

       My upward progress started with a phone call.  I spoke with a friend of more than three decades.  He pulled me out of a pit.  He joked with me, raising me out of my darkened mind.

       He didn't shame me.  He overlooked my cow-ardice, my doubts in trusting the process.

       "Just make the calls," Stuart said.  "That's all you have to do.  That's the hard work.  It does not matter the response you get.  Pablo, you haven't asked me.

       You haven't told me what you want."


       His encourage-ment was sunshine after a storm.  He helped grow my confidence.  Gradu-ally, I overcame the terror I felt.  The smile in his voice lifted my attitude.

       I took a deep breath. My heart pounded as I asked, "Stuart, I am involved with fund raising. Would it be possible for you to help?"
 
         The words barely left my lips, when he replied.  "Yes, Pablo.  I will provide two items the silent auction. I will donate money too, towards the food for the dinner."

         What planet did he come from??  The planet of compas-sion. Demons of apprehension that had tormented me fled. Because of Stuart. Support received from a dear friend.  The encouragement of a loved-filled community enabled me to climb the cliff of fear that overwhelmed me.

         The curtains to my house were shut today.  No light was let in.  I was in a dark space.  Not only physically, but emotionally.  Gripped with anxiety, I was paralyzed mentally.

         I was surrounded in a dark cloud bank of fear.  With Stuart's help, not only did the storm clouds part.  I was given the beginnings of hope.

         It would not have happened if I had isolated.  If I had not called him.  When our conversation finished, he gave me telephone numbers to use for the night's task.  My encouragement was strengthened as the night progressed.  I was unexpectedly embraced by a caring community.

         I was moved by these strangers I called.  Stuart went through the training I am going through. The numbers he gave were of past members who have had the same experience.  They cheered me on when I asked for a donation.  Gladly they gave more than I expected.

         "You will reach your goal!" they told me.  Smiles beamed through the phone as they spoke.  Each was eager to help.  The success I had tonight was the result of wrenching my guts.  At first.  I pushed beyond my fear.

         I reached out for help.  Because of the support I received, I feel like birds flying high.  Like the sun in the sky.  Like the breeze drifting by or a blossom on a tree.  It is a new dawn, a new day, a new life.
   
         I'm  Feeling Good!  You might want to Listen to the song below.  It expresses how I feel now.
Gratitudes: 
1.  I was invited by an author to write a chapter for an anthology on gratitude.  I need to follow through with this opportunity. She wants to use what I've written here. I love opportunities to spread the healing, life-giving power of gratitude.
2.  For the results of calls made tonight.  It didn't happen by my power. Success tonight was the result of being bathed in a community of sup-port.  Stuart, a long-term friend encouraged me.

     The people I enlisted for help were kind, understanding.
3. Someone I didn't even think of, texted me. She asked what she could donate. Wow!  Before I even made a request, this kind, sensitive woman, who found out what I was doing tonight, approached me.  I was humbled and overjoyed simultaneously.  Thank you, Debbi.
4.  I am thankful tonight I overcame fear.  It slowly happened while dialing for donations.  With each additional "yes" my confidence and hope grew.
5.  I am a professional listener.  Tonight, three wonderful people lent me their ear.  It felt good, nurturing and satisfying my soul, pouring out what was bubbling within.  I was happy these three, Stuart, Teresa and Tony, cared enough to listen.  It was terrific, the roles reversed.  I took care of me by asking for their attention.

      I asked for what I wanted.  Just like the phone calls made tonight.

How About You? 
What are your gratitudes for today?

May you have a great and grateful Sunday!

Thursday, November 26

The Biggest Day For This Inn 11/26/15

       Happy Thanksgiving everyone! This day is fantastic. Its focus is the same as this inn.  Enjoying this day with family and friends appeals to

Wednesday, November 25

The Central Day of This Inn Is Approaching 11/25/15

        Good evening everyone.  Many suffer from worry. Multitudes en-dure the crippling power of depres-sion.  Frustration and self-loathing is the plight of many.  An Atti-tude of Gratitude counteracts these ills. Tomorrow is the central day of this inn.  May this Thanksgiving Day be your best ever.
     
     Cherishing loved ones, counting our blessings are

Being Stretched 11/25/15

       Busy day.

       Saw clients Tuesday morning.  Traveled to Sacramento afterwards.  I'm on overdrive, going beyond my comfort level.  Not my style.  My schedule is stretched. Woke this morning at 5:55 a.m.for an appointment after

Tuesday, November 17

Staying Present 11/17/15

Gratitudes for Today
1.  My right hand is almost normal.  Constant pain in my wrist. Still can't turn the knob on a door. It's the result of breaking my hand four months ago.
2.  For personal growth.  I don't

Sunday, November 15

Having Fun, Fighting Dragons 11/15/15

         Saturday, I fought a dragon.

         On the streets of Old Sacramento.  With a sword.  I wore armor. Including a helmet.  A late night audience of those visiting this touristy part of town were

Wednesday, November 11

Me and Boundaryless People Don't Mix 11/11/15



        Went through a storm.  Of emotions.  The past two weeks and this evening.  Two different events.  Same result.


"The prudent man sees a danger and withdraws.  The simple continues on and suffers for it."        Proverbs 27:12.

         Am I learning prudence to a stronger, newer degree??  Yes.  Yet, this conflicts with believing in the best in others. When I trust another person I give the benefit of the doubt.  Prudence is a challenge when I

Tuesday, November 3

Getting Beyond Our Buttons............... 11/3/15

Image: "Cumbria: Hindscarth from High Spy"  By Tim
Blessed.  Copyrighted photo.  Used by permission. 
How to Have  Authentic Relationships: 
1.  Have conflicts before committing to another person.
2.  Don't avoid conflicts.
  a.  Conflicts reveals our vulnerabilities, the buttons that

Tuesday, October 27

Freed From Victimhood: It Requires Effort 1027/15

    Thankful for boundaries.  Ac-cepting unacceptable behavior is not my thing. Relate with a professional victim.  I do not get caught up with this way he controls others.  That is, manipu-lating their

Sunday, October 25

Tears of Healing 10/25/15

More about him in a moment. 
        I cried.

       Touched and fearful I was. Twelve people lined up, facing me. One at a time, they shared the good they saw.  In.  Me. 

       It was hard. Taking it in.  As the waves of their com-passionate words

Tuesday, October 20

A Client Becomes a Liberated Woman 10/20/15

      It was twenty-two minutes past the time of our session.

      Calling her, I discovered she had no means of driving over.  Her husband gave her car to a Russian friend. He moved today

Sunday, October 18

Not Moved By Drama................ 10/18/15

"Life is a great cycle of cause and effect. Everyone makes choices every day, and everyone's
choices affect others.  The combination of everyone's choices and the effect those choices
have on others makes the world what it is.

"Every problem can be traced to some unloving or selfish choice someone made. These
errors are the major cause of problems in the world today---selfishness and lack of love.
People either don't see how their wrong choices affect others or they don't care enough
to do things differently."  This lovely caption is from Tim Blessed, the photographer of
the image above and of many that have become the windows of this inn. 

Image: "England: Cumbria-Country Road Bridge"  Copyrighted photo. Used by permission

      Drama should not move us.

      Recently, a client of a few months came to emotional charged inaccurate conclusions.  He was triggered because I had sessions with his wife.  Get this---he referred his wife to me. He expected me to react to his fears. He believed I was taking her side.

      His excited imaginings reveals emotional baggage.  Mental chatter prevents him from being present.  He could not see reality: objectivity is central to what I do. Drama was avoided. Yielding to this client's pressure didn't happen.

      It is always preferred, placing principles above personalities.  Fearful, exaggerated behavior serves no one.  Submitting to it leads to chaos.  Giving in to strong emotions creates unpredictability. No longer are we living by principles.

     We are led by a seesawing perspective. We are surrendering to an agitated person.  Usually this is someone who disregards our needs and feelings.  We want to see their behavior for what it is: manipulation.

      Upset people do not want us to make decisions based on what is right.  They want us to make decisions based on their reactions to our values.  That is placing personalities---the agitated person's----first.  No can do.  Recovery is not giving in to the pressure of unpleasant or disturbed people.  To do otherwise is codependency.
Gratitudes for Today
1.  I was inspired by a talk I heard this morning. I like the clarity it provided about making  decisions. 
2.  I rested today.  It helps me thrive and balance my intense weeks.  I don't care to burn out. 
3.  Last night's conversation. 

How About You?
What are your gratitudes for today?

Saturday, October 17

Truly Connecting: Living Without Walls................ 10/17/15

       How you be?  An epic night, it was, this evening. But good.  Physically and emotionally, I am drained.  Wednesday, I awoke at 5:00 a.m.

      Grabbed a laptop and banged away. A critical outline for tonight was pro-duced. Thoughts surfaced during that bewitching time between being semi-asleep and almost being awake.  My rational mind was not present. What my subconscious said, was captured.

     Tonight confirmed its wisdom.  Am I glad.

****

       Calmness envel-oped both of us while having dinner.  The stakes were high.  We visited Horatio's. It's a restaurant located at the San Leandro marina. It faces the San Francisco Bay.  The reassuring presence of a smart-phone pressed against my chest. It rested in the breast pocket of my sports coat. It had Wednesday morning's outline.

        It was an out-of-body experience. I watched my behav-ior while dining. Heard what I said.  I viewed a trans-formed man.  A happier, freer guy. Not necessary, the outline. It was in-scribed upon my heart. What was said flowed from joy, peace. Confidence flowed. There is comfort in this relationship. The emotional safety shared allowed me to share my concerns freely. Without hesitancy.

      Never have I enjoyed authenticity as much as I do now.  It is something I value strongly. But now, it is richer. It is easier to express. Why? Because the walls in my life are being removed. Others are knowing the innocent and loved parts of who I am.

     The outcome tonight was beyond my dreams.

How About You?
What are your three gratitudes for today?

Wednesday, October 14

The Innkeeper Is Crushed.......... 10/14/15

      Super tired.

      Spending time in Sacramento, lots of time there, working on myself. I am still suffering from men-tal lag, emotional lag and physical wear-iness. But, you have not heard from me in awhile. That's

Tuesday, October 6

Feedback, Its Value 10/6/15

     Operating on three hours of sleep. Ugh!

      Holding my eyes open using tooth-picks. They are effective but uncom-fortable. I will share gratitudes for

Monday, October 5

Keeping It Real, Enjoying Tremendous Benefits......... 10/5/15

      I am in San Fran-cisco, sitting in the waiting room of Kaiser hospital on Geary Blvd.

     Exhausted, the past two weeks I have been.  My emotions have been on full tilt, taxed by

Sunday, October 4

Comfortable With Life and All of Its Circumstances, Not Hindered by Fear 10/4/15

       I'm dictating this post using my smart-phone. My laptop gave up its life.

     Life is fantastically good, getting better almost daily.  I spoke with someone tonight.  As I talked, I was

Saturday, October 3

Celebrating a More Fragile and Happier Life................. 10/3/15

       I am lucking out, right now. My laptop is broken. Again.  Dead all day, it was. For forty-five minutes, just now, I fiddled with the power cord, trying to get it to work, to get this post in, while it lay on the kitchen table. No luck. The computer refused my efforts at

Sunday, September 27

Transforming Like a Butterfly....... 9/27/15

I thought it has been overdue, showing you a
view from one of the inn's windows. Nice, huh?
        Who I was a week ago, I no longer am.

        Nor am I like I was two days ago. Certainly, not the Pablo that existed a month ago. All has transpired for the better.  More relaxed. I am. Already

Saturday, September 26

Survey of Highs and Lows for the Week................. 9/26/15

    This is the time I review the week that just happened, surveying the highs and lows that came my way.

Highs:
1.  I have been true to myself.
2.  I had plenty of opportunities to react.  I didn't.
3.  I had no desire to control anyone, at any time, the past seven days.
4.  I was privileged to

Tuesday, September 22

Getting Real When Relating................ 9/22/15

        Have a small emotional bladder.

        For the past six months, this is what I have suggested to clients. We don't want to hang on to mistreatment from

Thursday, September 17

Overcoming a Visit From a Ghost of the Past................ 9/17/15

         Nine days ago it happened.

        The circumstances were a long time in appearing.  The tension that came with it, the sick, empty feeling in my stomach, soured the evening.  At least, initially.  It didn't get better until I took care of myself, shutting things down, literally.  The feelings was the return of a companion who hadn't

Wednesday, September 9

Life is Getting Better, Relationally and Physically 9/9/15

        So much to say.  Not enough time or alertness at this hour to record my observations.  Over two hundred miles driven, left-handedly today.   Just returned from Sacramento.  Getting training there.

        For the Labor Day holiday on Monday, I went to Great America amusement park.  For those not in the know, it has many rides of the roller coaster nature.  It was hot down there, in Santa Clara and a trip

Friday, September 4

Sources of Joy, Part II................ 9/4/15

Not Stuart and me.  But you get the idea.
     Leaving gratitudes tonight.  I'll re-write this tomorrow.  Check out the previous post. I overhauled it, revamping what was there.

Gratitudes: 
1.  For my friend Stuart.  He's coaching me, helping me as I relate with others.  I appreciate his loving support.  And his humor, even though it aggravates me when I am in an intense mood.  He knows I need

Wednesday, September 2

The Innkeeper Was Prepared for the Moment, A New Pablo Was Born.... 9/2/15

       I got angry tonight.

       Amazing night.  Spoke my truth while visiting with someone at Star-bucks.  Innkeep-er's Update 9/17/15  I discov-ered last week a spy watched us, the

Monday, August 31

High Points for Last Week.............. 8/31/15

Highs for the past seven days: a survey.

Highs:
1.  I made time for rest.  Sleeping more, going to bed earlier.  Balance is critical if I am to thrive emotionally, spiritually, mentally and professionally.
2.  My right hand is improving. In constant pain, I remain since July 27th.  But the deep, persistent burn is not as intense.  My wrist was broken when I fell off my bike and extended my two hands out, bracing myself as I

Saturday, August 29

Authenticity, Its Challenges.......... 8/29/15

     How hard it is, genuinely relat-ing.  Being seen for who we truly are.

      Expressing our thoughts.  Scarey. Saying what we feel and want. It's going on a limb. Revealing what is happening within, is tough.

      Often, we fear the opinion of oth-ers.  Seeking to please, has us sac-rificing.  We aren't truly ourselves.  Our authentic self is sacrificed upon the altar of public approval. We mea-sure our status by the applause received from others.

      Frequently, what we've done, the power and control we exert are the standards by which we assess ourselves.  That's an empty perspec-tive.  When relating, there is nothing more valuable than honesty, balanced with grace and joy.

     Do we need to lie, to stay in a relation-ship?  Of course not.  Pretending to be someone we aren't is unfulfilling.  It is bet-ter being ourselves.  If we have to be more than we are, in order to be loved by others, we want to bless these individuals, sending them on their way.  God's gift for us, they aren't.


     Those God sends our way love us.  As we are.  He gives them to us for free. They will have our back.  I agree with the following:

We long for the feeling that we are okay just as we are.  We long to feel relaxed.  We long for the courage to live with integrity.  We long to reconnect with our authentic self---that sense of uniqueness and originality that comes from deep inside and is independent of others expectations. 
When we have the courage to show up as we are, we discover that we feel more deeply connected to oth-ers.  It's paradoxical.  When we are fully expressing our one-of-a-kind selves, we also feel more kinship with all the other one-of-a-kind selves in the world. Why? Because when we are fully self-expressed, we become free of unfinished business and are able to be fully present to others.  
Self-expression leads to feeling open, available, trusting, and relaxed; all things that lead to feeling connected to others.    Susan Campbell, Getting Real, 73-74 
       No, I didn't dis-appear the past week.  I was tied up.  Work consumed me in all ways: mentally, emo-tionally, physically and spiritually.Hand-ling crises in the lives of others the last sev-en days depleted me.  Pacing myself while navigating the tur-bulent waves life tossed my way, was needed.

       Despite this week's pressures, I enjoyed peace of mind, equanim-ity.  I took care of my body.  Monday, I bedded at 8:00 p.m., drained, after handling intense sessions.

       Starting the day after Labor Day, I'm getting additional training.  Can't wait.  Such times invigorate me.  Being with colleagues who understand the pressures I face is reassuring and strengthening.

        I am tired, calling it a day.   Thank you, for dropping by!

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.

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