Tuesday, October 27

Freed From Victimhood: It Requires Effort 1027/15

    Thankful for boundaries.  Ac-cepting unacceptable behavior is not my thing. Relate with a professional victim.  I do not get caught up with this way he controls others.  That is, manipu-lating their
reactions.  He uses victimhood to avoid his responsibilities.  This way, the victim does not have to work on improving his character.

     Presenting ourselves as a victim, we are not seeing our contribution to the problem.  It's the other person's fault, we suffer.  That is a lie. We contribute to the problem. We might be passive. We may not express our boundaries. We may be externally referented.  We may allow unacceptable behavior.

      Seeing ourselves as a victim cheats us from seeing what we could do differently to prevent the problem we face.

     Unfortunately, ninety-six percent of the world is codependent. The victim cries about his circumstances. He bemoans his treatment.  Codependent people accommodate him, feeling sorry for him. The result: he lives a lousy life.   He is not motivated to change those things that would improve his circimstances.

     It's easy for me to see through this defense.  It is used by many to not face their circumstances.  Codependent I am not.  I care about others woes but do not care for them.  They still need to do the hard work of developing their character.

1.  I received "surprise" gifts tonight.  I value the thoughtfulness put into them.  They knew my nature. I am touched by the kindness of the person who gifted me.  I don't know who it was.
2. I am doing a workshop that allows me to grow and create new material.  I am excited.  It's fun seeing myself still growing, professionally.
3.  I've been working on my house. Bit, by bit, it's improving.
4.  I had an assignment I needed to take care of at 6:15 this morning.  I was up to the task, even though I went to bed at 1:30 a.m.
5.  I am thankful for the gifts writing provides:
   a.  It clears my thoughts.
   b.  It improves my ability to self-express.
   c.  It captures moments in my life, permanently.
   d.  It helps me process feelings.
   e.  It has introduced me to new friends----you who drop by.
6.  I was wiped out Monday. I was recovering from the training I received Friday and Saturday.  Someone kindly made me spaghetti.  Yum!  I really appreciated her kindness. Her action provided for my need for comfort and sensitivity. Thank you, TH!
7.  Another person picked flowers for me. Thank you, MF.
8.  I rested in-between appointments, as I still had the migraine I got on Monday.

How About You? 
What are your three gratitudes for today?

I'll work on this some more tomorrow.  Right now, my head is splitting. I need to hit the hay.

1 comment:

Thumper said...


I am happy that you were loved and provided with comfort and sensitivity when you needed it.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.