Thursday, June 2

Life Is Not a Correspondence Program. (Also, Staying in the Solution) 6/2/11

  "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble,  
 but it does empty today of its strength."

Staying In the Solution:
       The quote above reminds us of the value of staying in the solution.  Especially when we are troubled.  What can be done?  What are our options, given our circumstances?

        Focusing----while relying upon God's strength and direction, and relating with our Balcony People-----on what can be done, is the best approach.

         It's critical realizing there are alternatives.

        We are not helpless, hopeless victims.  Constant complaining only makes our problems larger. We only make them more disturbing. (Al-Anon Family Groups Inc. One Day At a Time, Virginia Beach, 75)

        We want to see how we can extricate ourselves from the bogs of life.  This is staying in the solution.  Heal-thy alternatives to life's difficulties are slate stones.  They lay across the swamps of life.

         Staying present, is neither fearing nor pan-icking. It is diligently applying sound princi-ples.  It's placing the slate stones of princi-ples above the weak parts of our personality.

          They allow us to move forward towards a satisfying life.  They help us to be surrounded by caring, supportive friends.  These people are our Balcony People.  When with them, we're less likely to be swal-lowed by the quicksand of despair and self-pity:
"Acting like a victim is a choice, not a destiny."     Hope For Today, p. 189
Life Is Not a Correspondence Program
Growth Occurs When We Are in Community With Others 

        I mentioned "working with the support of our Balcony People." Life is not a correspondence program.  It's not a matter of reading helpful books, watching helpful programs on PBS and writing down our answers in a notebook that solves life difficulties.  Nope, life isn't as simple as that.

       Surrounding ourselves with emotionally and psychologically healthy others, is the way to go. These are people whose talk and walk are dynamic. They know serenity and sanity, even in the midst of life's trials.

       These individuals thrive during difficult moments.  They are known for their joy.  No upside down smiles is found on their faces, for the most part. Positivity and resiliency are characteristic of those who succeed.  People who move forward in their lives put their arms around negative reality.

        We need psychological and emotional distance to be honest about our frailties.  These issues are such a part of us, like our nose, that we don't notice them.  Having Balcony People as a part of our personal community ensures growth.  They ask us hard questions and keep us real.

         It's easy rationalizing unacceptable behavior: "Well, everyone else does it..." "You didn't see that person...." "He made me angry...."  Supportive, Balcony People don't enable us, they don't allow us to get away with denial, not taking responsibility for our actions.
"Open rebuke is greater than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of the enemy are deceitful."    Proverbs 27:5-6.  
     Do we want to continue with habits that really don't serve us?  I thought not.

My Gratitudes:
1. Removing clutter from my work is encouraging; I took care of details today. Doing so always provides more clarity regarding my office work.
2. I'm moving forward in my life. I'm working toward goals that will enable me to expand my business and allow me to work in a beautiful environment.
3. I saw several friends this evening.  It's nice having consistency in my life. I see these friends almost every week.
4.  I'm going to bed early tonight. I look forward to getting extra rest. I'm beat.

How About You? 
How might God, or your Higher Power, want you to put your arms around negative reality, during this season in your life? 
I'd love hearing your answers.
Images: "Countryside Old Bridge" by Tim Blessed used by permission


Anonymous said...

It is always a pleasure and a benefit hearing your I choose to accept this guidance in my life...
Toni M. (not anonymous)

Anonymous said...

I am grateful today for choices...
Toni M.

Paul NorthernCal said...


Thanks for dropping by! I see you are a person of your word---I respect this character quality of yours. I value your consistency, honesty and dependability.

I appreciate that you identified yourself. It's always good knowing who stopped by the Attitude of Gratitude Inn. May the rest of the week go well for you.

Choices are critical---that's what is so terrible about manipulation: it tries to deny the victim of the right to choose.

It's good to remember that when we use judgment, blame, shame, fear or guilt to motivate another, we are being manipulative. It's best to simply, but courteously, make a request that would satisfy our needs.

Josiah said...

I'm thankful for the beautiful weather here in Fremont. I'm also grateful to God that though I'm not where I could be in regards to having a job, that there are things I can do right now to be faithful to him in the place he has me. I'm grateful that with each step I'm moving closer to my goals.

Paul NorthernCal said...


Great to see you here. Thanks for visiting the inn! I like your attitude. I'm in agreement with you: being faithful to God's will for our life is essential.

I'm rooting you on, as you take steps towards your goals. Please let us know how else we can support you.

Hope to see you again. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Theresa Elander said...

Congratulations on finding your original posts about Alexander. It is a lovely story about how impactful our furry friends can be in our lives.

My gratitudes for today.

I am grateful for nature and for the healing that I receive from nature.

I am grateful for friends who are priceless to me. I am grateful for their listening, their support, their love.

I am grateful for my own furry friends. They help me laugh, love, and be light about life.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.