Wednesday, February 10

Embracing Differences, Revisited and Revised

     Who likes tension in a relationship?  Wouldn't it be good, learning a skill that reduces that possi-bility?  Embracing differences honors anyone trapped in the web of a conten-tious relationship, too.  It helps when having difficulties with

Thursday, February 4

Imaginings Are Not Reality............... 2/4/16

     How are you?

     Lately, guests to this inn have raced over to visit the new addition here.  It has been the most read feature.  In less than

Thursday, January 28

Taking Inventory 1/28/16

       I slowed down today.

       I continue processing what happened last month.  Both on relational and professional fronts.  It's good, resting.  I am not busying myself.  That's a common way to avoid feelings.

       Feelings are what make me alive.  Even the ugly ones, the ones that scare me.Why? Because they are idiot lights on my emo-tional dashboard.  These negative, red flashings upon my consciousness scream that needs of mine are not being met.

      Solitude and silence helps when re-viewing my values regarding relationships.  It is is an ongoing process.  Because my growth is an ongoing process.  What I accepted yesteryear isn't now.  I know better.

        Part of being a healthy person is that we grow. Try that when greeting someone. Ask them, "How are you growing?" An an-swer won't be a problem for a safe person.

       My growth includes having greater clarity.  Understanding life better and how to live it fully.

       Spending time alone---like today---helps me with my bearings.  I am inventorying my life.  I scrutinize my standards and boundaries.  I look for cracks, areas that lead to emotional, spiritual or mental meltdowns.

       Being that it is January, I tentatively plan goals for this year.  Flexibility is factored in.  But I set measurable goals.  It is better trying and failing than doing nothing.  Action, even if the results are negative, creates momentum.  It is okay failing forward.

       Doing nothing only freezes our soul.

  Gratitudes for Today:
1.  There is a new tab at the top of this inn.   More articles will be placed there.  I'll do that on a regular basis.  So far, it has eighteen chapters of the most read posts.

      These can be lost, or overlooked, with the passage of time. Especially since there are 1160 posts.
2. I'm removing clutter.  More order and greater sanity is created, when I do.  There is increased ease and tranquility, when I get rid of junk.
3. Met with friends last night in Alameda.  I like the community we share. We had dinner together, in addition to discussing feelings.
4.  Met someone new at the event last night. I enjoy new thoughts and perspective.
5.  A second new person joined us. Someone I knew. The rest didn't. He has been growing tremendously, since September. I love seeing how he is standing in his power, recovery and integrity. Before September, he didn't.

Wednesday, January 27

Compassion: Connecting With the Needs and Feelings of Others 1/27/16

"If we want compassion, we must be conscious of the words
 we use.  We want to speak and listen from the heart."
     "When we keep the spot-light on the other person's feelings and needs, we sup-port their per-sonal growth. Their motiva-tions will come from a desire to connect rath-er than to please others,           being rewarded or avoid criticism.  
"We also support others in evaluating for them-selves how well they are meeting their needs, rather than encouraging that they look to others for their evaluation. 
"Celebrating successes is an opportunity to connect with another. Instead of   offering an evaluation such as "Great Job" or "You're smart," empathize with the feelings and needs that are met for the person you're relating with:   'Are you glad because you solved the problem?' "        
                     Marshall B. Rosenberg


      What ways do you encourage others?  Do you like it when someone says, "Good job," to you?  Is it just me being finicky?  When someone says that to me, I feel as if they've put themselves in a one up position.  I don't like that.  Nor does anyone have the right to do. 

      Thank you for dropping by.  May you have a great week.  It can be busy.  If we don't know our focus.

Sunday, January 24

Fitting In, Just As We Are ................ 1/24/16

        I don't hip hop.

        No, I'm not saying I can-not move like a rabbit.  I'm expressing I don't dance like many of the current genera-tion.  I got to know a lot of terrific people recently. Train-ing over many weeks in the final half of last year made that happen.  It grew my commun-ity of friends.

        I improved.  I am better at what I do.  Because of it, I am filled with gratitude.  But not

Tuesday, January 19

The Guiding Wisdom of Recovery............ 1/19/16


    I am thankful for it.  We receive a wid-er perspective when we live with recover-y.  We get a clarity about life.  We get new eyes.  We begin to see the world and

Wednesday, January 13

Handling Disappointment 1/13/16

Image: "Riverside" by Tim Blessed
Copyrighted photo.  Used by permission
          I've been away.  I am making sense of last year. And this one. Recu-perating, too.  For several months, at the end of the year, I was tossed in a whirlwind.

Friday, January 8

Deeper Communication---Not Getting Triggered, Revised 1/8/16

Image: "Cumbria: Hindscarth from High Spy"  By Tim
Blessed.  Copyrighted photo.  Used by permission. 
     The following was written sixteen months ago.  It is revised. It deals with a key to an excellent relation-ship, be it friend or partner.  Let me know what you think. 

     I had a sensa-tional time this morning.  Deeply fulfilling. I spent time with a good friend for several hours. Tough, but good.  We were both nurtured.

      Honesty, compassion reigned.  My needs for intimacy, connection

Thursday, December 31

Discernment and Boundaries Spare Us From Grief 12/31/15

Craziness, joy and growth.
         Best words describing 2015.
"The prudent man sees a danger and withdraws.  The simple continue and suffer for it."                                  Proverbs 27:12.  
          This observation is an antidote.  It helped me handle over-the-top circumstances faced this year. I was insane during por-tions of this year.  I let go of the reins of caution.  I was seduced

Friday, December 25

My Favorite Christmas Story 12/25/15

Taken from my favorite Christmas book,
The Christ Child, Illustrated by Miska and
 Maud Petersham 
     Merry Christmas.  That each guest of this inn has a lovely day, is my wish.  I know I will.

     What is Christmas?  Nope, it isn't about gifts.  It's about

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.