Monday, November 24

Calmly Surprising a Controlling Person 11/24/14

        The other day, while with friends, I was in a good mood.  Peaceful even.  Towards the end of our time someone said, "What's wrong with you Pablo, you were quiet tonight."

        This assumption she said, even though I shared my opinions that night.
This was her first try at

Saturday, November 22

The Demon of Denial ................ 11/22/14

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget
that the highest appreciation is not to utter words,
but to live by them.”   John F. Kennedy 

        Awhile ago I met with someone I mentored. This person danced around issues needing attention.  When he became defensive, I held my ground,  prompting a discussion about the
difference between being unaware and

Thursday, November 20

Lessons Learned From a Sassy Female ............ 11/20/14

       I have a new girlfriend.  She's been mentioned here, at the inn.  She's sassy, but quiet.  My type of gal.  She's immodest, doesn't like wearing clothes.  But she loves me dearly----I'm sticking with her.  Her name is Precious, a Himalayan cat.

      I thought I was training her.  I have.  But, she is training me, too.  Some of the lessons she's teaching me:

1.  I need patience, if I don't want to be frustrated.  If I wait patiently, I am rewarded.  She has her own time schedule.  I'll call her.  When she is good and ready she draws near to me.
So it is with Precious
2.  She reminds me that relationships require time. Not just patience in the moment, but patience over time, days----going slowly with her.  For two years she lived alone.  Over the past few weeks, I have been picking her up.   Initially, her claws dug into my chest, and arm as she pushed away, wanting the floor.

      Now, I can hold her a full minute and five seconds.  She nods her head while I rub her belly.  Then she gently---with no claws---pushes against me, letting me know she's had enough.

3.  Unpredictability comes with the territory. Acceptance of this fact is necessary if we are to be friends.

    If I lay on the coach, reading, she draws near, wanting affection.  At other times, when I am in the kitchen, if I move my hands suddenly, she turns and runs, all I see are the petticoats of unbrushed hair on her back legs.
4.  I am a sucker when she bats her eyes at me, during the day.  They are a gorgeous blue.  Not the same story at night.  Then, I avoid them. They are a demonic glowing red dots that follow me, when I make a trip to the kitchen or bathroom.
5.  I have to take the good with the bad.  She snorts.  All the time.  She slurps.  All the time.  She is matted, all the time, even though I brush her every day and use scissors to remove the Rastafarian aspects of her appearance.

    Because I accept the minuses of her, along with the pluses, she follows me wherever I go.  She lays beside me, as I study, prep for clients or write. Her fluffy tail brushes my legs as she walks back and forth, beneath them.  Silently, I find her standing next to my chair, facing me, wanting my hands to run through her hair and rub her belly.

6.  Sometimes our friends are less than attractive.  Love them anyway.  Don't say a word about how inwardly grossed out you are.  Precious has sneezing fits.  Twenty, thirty sneezes at a time.  Along with these efforts are buggers that then hang from her nose.  They are gone within seconds. She licks them away.  Being a gentleman, during those times I either look away or focus only on her baby blues.

     And no, I don't let her kiss me.

7.  Expect surprises.  Periodically, green banana slugs appear in the living room or underneath the dining table.  G-R-E-E-N.   Four inches long (10.16 cm.) Using a napkin, I pick them up and put them in the organic waste bag.   Actually they are hair balls that my feline girlfriend coughed out sometime while I slept.

     Even though my other friends are not covered with fur, they wear clothing and do not have routine sneezing fits, I find what I have learned from Precious serves me well when relating  with them, too. 

Wednesday, November 19

Being Gentle Towards Ourselves 11/19/14

“The six most important words:  I admit I made a mistake.
 The five most important words:  You did a good job. 
The four most important: What is YOUR opinion?
 The three most important: If you please. The 
two most important words:  Thank You. 
The one most important: We.
      Least important:  "I.”   
Author Unknown
Image: The California coast: Point Reyes
My Gratitudes:
1. Met with friends tonight.  Getting back at it.  For nearly a month I didn't attend-----was immersed in following my Giants baseball team as they marched on, even-tually becoming national champions.
2.   It's fulfilling seeing others getting strong-er.  They are finding clarity in overcoming life's difficulties,  learning how taking care of themselves.  We are the only person on earth who can make our well-being our number one priority.
3.  This weekend. Some long-term issues may be resolved.  Closure and peace of mind I'll have when that happens.
4.  Thankful for comments several of you have posted. I apologize for not replying. The result of  being overworked and tuckered out. I will reply soon.
5.  In January, I'll be teaching again, in San Francisco, helping others learn what I do.  I love teaching.  For me, it is like breathing.

The Benefits of Being Gentle Towards Ourselves

        I'm thankful for racquet of tempestuous times that take swings at my peace of mind. These jarring occasion allow me to practice patience, especially towards myself.  My younger self was more driven than I am now, and I'm a driven person, still.  You can imagine how intense I was.

        Much of my drive was due to insecurities, wanting approval.  Now, I'm less the circus dog.  No longer jumping through fiery hoops, needing to impress.  Being at peace, knowing I'm loved and lovable removes big chunks of the edgy self that once defined me.  Hurray!

        Now, when improvement is needed, I am gentle towards these undeveloped parts.  No longer do I look at these areas with disgust or despair.  No, now grace and gentleness is applied.  Am I glad.

        I'm kind towards myself.  And because I am, life gets better.  When I look back a month, six months or a year, I appreciate the progress made. I am more patient with the rate of progress, although it can appear small.  Now, I'm kinder towards myself.

        When I'm kind towards my vulnerabilities, they emerge from hiding. They experience healing, transformation.  When I am harsh with my warty self,  these areas retreat and hide. There's no chance for improvement.

       Being gracious towards me has these benefits, too:

1. I'm happier.
2. Depression ceases; condemning self becomes less frequent.
"Condemning my imperfections has never enhanced my appreciation of life nor has it helped me to love myself more."  
               Courage to Change, page 19. 
3. I bask in the joy of having an Attitude of Gratitude.
4. As I've become gentler towards myself, I'm softer, kinder, towards others.  It's hard giving what we have not received.

        Please, let me hear your thoughts on this subject, 

                The Innkeeper

Tuesday, November 18

The Vision of This Inn.............. 11/18/14

Innkeeper's Note: 

       I am recuperating from a crazy week and weekend.  My sleep has been thrown out of kilter for days, along with my equanimity, though no one would know it.  This is what has happened to me, the result of being a public speaker for decades.  I have nerves of steel even when disoriented.  

       Outwardly I am calm, when my soul feels like it has been in the

Sunday, November 16

Calmness In The Eye of the Storm, Part III, Revisited 11/16/14

Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things.
Image: "Countryside: Across the Valley" by Tim Blessed.  Copyrighted photo. Used by permission. 
        Busy, I have been.  Plenty busy.  But, I figured there has  been enough silence at the inn.  I have a high priority I am preparing for.  I leave this post, it was popular when this inn was new.  Let me know your thoughts. Here it is.


        It's a great feeling, not perseverating when stressed. And, right now, I am under pressure. Getting agitated never helps.  How can I be mentally clear, when

Tuesday, November 11

Increasing Our Contact With God 11/11/14

     Using a different computer.  Mine woke up sick today.   It's in the shop.  It will be the third fan put in it, in the last six months.  I asked Angelo at the computer shop if they had a loaner.  And here

Sunday, November 9

Patience is Active 11/9/14

      Today, an intense and intensely good conversation with someone dear was had. For three-and-a-half hours, making me happy.  I got clarity.

       Refreshed, alert, I am, the result of conking out this afternoon. The past week had me on a torture rack. The demands faced stretched me

Friday, November 7

Seeing Progress 11/7/14

    It's that time.  Often, here at the inn, we review the high and low points of the week just ending. Here are mine:

High Points
1.  I am getting regular, consistent sleep.  More often.
2.  I am maintaining sobriety regarding use of the internet.  I have no problems with drinking.  I said internet use. If not careful, I could spend too much time perusing the internet. When I die, I don't think I will say, "I wish I spent more time using my laptop."
3.  I am using a new paradigm when working with

Thursday, November 6

Today Is One Good of the Ol' Days We'll Talk About In the Future......... 11/6/14

Image: "Switzerland, Autumn Mist" by Tim
Blessed.  Copyrighted photo. Used by permission. 
My Gratitudes for Today: 
1.  For studying.  It helps me to contin-ually grow.  I milk more out of this day, this week and month, enjoying more of its luscious, intoxicating quali-ties, when I work on my personal growth, daily. 
2.  For rest.  I slept in this morning.  Was it needed.  It contributes towards

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.