Sunday, October 19

A Tsumami Crashed Upon the Innkeeper 10/19/14

        More drama that happens in a mid-afternoon soap opera transpired this weekend.  Before this day started, I was already physically and mentally wiped out.  Yes, really.  A tsunami of feelings, a jumbled multitude of thoughts crashed upon me.  Soul-jolting waves engulfed me Friday, Saturday and today.

       But now, I stand here,  having survived an assault upon my inner self.  I can't wait to get back to work.  Its tension and demands will be an oasis of welcomed relief compared to the past few days.  And yet, I am happier, after enduring this roiling of my emotions and equanimity.  Clarity absent 72 hours ago is now mine, a product of facing fear, overcoming it.

       This recent tossing and bouncing upon the waves of fear had positive results.  This is not stoical perspective, minimizing recent events.  It is an honest appraisal.  The fruit of enduring the jarring nature of this weekend I can now see.  As the waves have receded, reality, not conjured horrors, have been left behind on the shores of my consciousness.

      Yes,my attention was vigorously seized, mentally, physically and spiritually.  I now have a clearer understanding of my future.  Always a good thing.

      While my feelings were jostled, tossed upside down and I was spun around, the situation was worsened by a mistake.  Rarely do I feel despair.  Today, at 11:32 a.m., I did.  Felt like a dummy, actually.  I shut down my computer in order to reset a program.  In the process I erased an elaborate outline I wrote that was important, something I desperately want to use today.  Ugh.

      Making it worse, someone else was with me, during this moment of anguish.  I am thankful I am myself when with others.  My eyes drooped, my smile disappeared from my face, my heart sank.  To my friend, I said, "This is what I look like when I am flummoxed."


     The visit went well, better than I expected.  My joy returned.  But my reserves are totally depleted.

My Gratitudes for Sunday: 
1.  So thankful for being gentle towards myself, after getting over my initial shock, when this morning I obliterated something I wrote that would have been very useful.

      It is not only good to forgive others, but it is great for our soul to forgive ourselves.  I exercised this spiritual practice.
2.  For time with a dear friend.  I was elated with our visit.  The time flew----nearly four hours together.
3.  For the clarity enjoyed with my friends, the Safe People in my life.  We are present with each other.  This quality is greater than charm or good looks. Without character, a relationship will not last.  If it does, it will not thrive, nor will it be satisfying.

I'll be updating this every 15 minutes until this is done.  I am just date stamping this for now. 

Friday, October 17

The Day the Earth Did Not Stand Still 10/17/14

The Cypress Viaduct after the earthquake. 
      Yes, it happened on this day.

      Don and I had just picked up residents from downtown.  They  had gone out on a pass, using their yellow or red "P," or privilege card.  Having dropped the residents at the front door, Don opening it for them, I pulled the extended Econoline

Wednesday, October 15

Lessons Learned From Those Who Succeed ...... 10/15/14

       I slowed down my day.  Others wanted my services but I stayed true to taking care of me.  Besides, yesterday depleted my reserves.  I don't need to wear myself to the bone, to prove to myself how hard I work.

     Today was great.  I made time, catching the latest

Monday, October 13

The Innkeeper Is Growing and Happy 10/13/14

1.  My character continues to be stretched, all for the good.  It's reassuring knowing my life evolves, becoming more satisfying.  I am learning better ways to relate.  My growth is a great way to prevent dementia.  Once dormant dendrites are being exercised.
2.  For healthy communication.  I love connecting with others where

Sunday, October 12

Lifted Up By Friends and Family 10/12/14

          As a kid growing up, I could not express my feelings.  Not allowed.  This week I did.  But only after my emotions were tempered by common sense received from friends and family.

         My supportive network rescued me from my younger fiery ways.  Being petulant about my circumstances was my fondest desire, early last week.  It would have been satisfying to act out----------for maybe ten minutes.   As much as I would want to dance before Hells Angels in a tutu, is how much I wanted to be

Saturday, October 11

The Innkeeper Is Inspired.......... 10/11/14

     I just arrived home after going out this evening, with friends, taking in a good movie, The Judge with a favorite actor of mine, Robert Duvall and Robert Downey Jr., both gifted per-formers.  You prob-ably don't know that Mr. Duvall is a descendant of Robert E. Lee, an expert horseman and a talented Tango dancer.

Assisted a Deserving Person
      I recently wrote a resume for the assistant general manager of a twenty-five screen movie house in Union City.  Part of the deal was I get to

Thursday, October 9

Slowing Down... 10/9/14

         I will not sacrifice physical or mental health in order to write something tonight.  I am too exhausted to write an in-depth post.  Today---for twelve hours---work consumed all of me.  So, this post is about not writing one.  Tomorrow, I may have the time and energy.  Not  writing reveals

Tuesday, October 7

Life, Ever Vibrant, If.......................... 10/7/14

      I did not plan on writing tonight.  Be-cause of my recent ongoing condition---exhaustion. This eve-ning's commentary will be simple.  I would like hearing your response to yesterday's post,

Monday, October 6

Freedom From Fearful Fantasies That Interfere with Dynamic Living 10/6/14

     I love the progress I see with most clients.  They are hand-ling the little tyrant that lives within. A dictator, their default mode is, when reacting to stress.  They are gaining freedom from false fantasies. Illusions devel-oped in the past---as children---often cloud per-ceptions of present-day reality, tincturing it with the drama-filled perspective of childhood.

      Past behavior of most people reveals these phantoms are

Friday, October 3

The Joy of Being Threatened....... 10/3/14

I love the skyscape.  Image: "England: Northampton
-shire: Summer Day" 
by Tim Blessed.  Copyrighted
 photo.  Used by permission. 
      This week, someone threatened me.  It helped me see where my source of joy lies.  It wasn't the area he threatened, a place where I was vulnerable as a kid.  I am thrilled I don't let others determine my moods or define my reality. 
      This person's behavior left no doubt about his character. No way in heck will I

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.