The Life Changing Power of Affirmation 10/4/13

     Good morning. I'm bumping this up. Now that fall is here and school has started, I thought I'd share this, written more than two years ago.  After this story I have a request.  You'd make a happy innkeeper if I heard from you. Yes, you.  Here's the post:

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       How are you?  Have you thanked someone today?  Who is someone you are grateful for?  Can you think of anybody who believed in you
and cheered you on when your energy was flagged?  Please pause patiently and pensively for a moment. Whom would that be?

      I'm mindful of Mr. Tafoya, my fifth grade teacher.  The only Hispanic teacher I had.  From the state of New Mexico, he was.  One day he asked me to stay in class, after he dismissed the other students for recess.

      The words he shared with me that day have stuck with me since then.  I didn't expect them.  You see, he was pretty scary.  No, not because he had an eye in the back of his head, or anything like that.

       He was the best and most demanding teacher at Vallejo Mills Elementary School, in Fremont, California.  He taught the accelerated classes, for nerds. like me.  If anyone in his class spoke without permission, they were in trouble.

       I remember once asking a student, David, who sat next to me if  I could borrow his eraser during an exam. Mr. Tafoya took my test and gave me an F.  For me, it was more like F for frustration.  He didn't ask why I spoke.  I cried, being frustrated.

      The day he asked me to stay after class, I nervously waited, squirming while sitting at  my lift-top desk.  Outside, the students squealed and yelled, playing soccer, tether ball, four square, or goofed around.  I longed to be with them.  Instead I was trapped with bald-pated, grim-visaged Mr. Tafoya. The cacophony of voices and the stir on the playground, outside the classroom door were mentally silenced---instantly---when my instructor finally spoke.

      Stunned, by his surprising words, I was.  He encouraged me.  I was his best student, he said. That couldn't be. The other students were brainy; I didn't even wear glasses. I got in fights.  They used more polysyllabic words.  They were the sons of doctors, lawyers and engineers.

      His words hit their mark.  From that day, school was something I enjoyed, and still do----okay, nowadays it's research and studying----I like it more than anything else.  It relaxes me.

      After our visit, I was a motivated, disciplined student.  In the fifth grade, I studied until 2:00 a.m.  I know----I shouldn't have, but I liked getting good grades.  At the time I didn't realize I was externally referented.  It would be years before I was freed from this disease.  Academic success provided encouragement rarely gotten from parents who were busy attending to six kids.

     This drive for studies lasted through junior high, high school and college----to the love for learning that remains to this day.  My efforts have been bolstered by the words Mr Tafoya's that day.  I was emboldened by his belief in me, a confused kid with a crew cut.  What a difference one person can make.

      And yes, I went to U.C. Berkeley.

      Now, the rest of the story.....

      What you don't know is that before my chat with Mr. Tafoya, I had visited the principal, Mr. Burt, in his office.  This time it wasn't for a paddling.  I asked to be put in a lower, less demanding track.  To be placed with the "B" track of students.  The demands of my studies were too much to bear.

      "Pablo,"  tall, skinny Mr. B---who also was missing hair on top---said, "do you know how many parents beg to have their kids placed in this track???"
      "Yes, Mr. Burt.  But the work is too hard."  I was reading Plato, Sophocles, Thucydides, even Dante, in addition to Longfellow, Poe and Twain.
      "Okay, let me see what I can do," he replied.

       Well, it's  clear he spoke with my fifth grade instructor.

       So, Mr. Al Tafoya---wherever you are---thank you for encouraging an insecure, confused, struggling ten year old kid who almost quit on himself.  I'm grateful for the gift you gave that day.  You instilled the desire to believe, not only in my abilities, but in myself.

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A Request

      This is the Attitude of Gratitude Inn. Here, we exercise thankfulness muscles, sharing the gratitudes that fill our hearts. Doing so is a wonderful antidote to the negativity that can easily invade our souls. 

      The news bombards us with bleak information. I prefer lighting a candle, instead of cursing darkness.  I keep my face towards the sun. I focus on the blessings I receive from God and the love I enjoy from friends and family.

    May I ask you to share today not three gratitudes, but one? Just for today, would you mind sharing about one person that you are grateful for?  It would be wonderful if you shared about someone who made a difference in your life. Please include details, that made this person influential.  That would be terrific.  Would it be possible to introduce this person, who had a strong impact upon you?

                        Here's to sharing gratitudes,