Our Ideal Self Isn't, Part II ............. 5/16/14

     Thursday, I slaved away, writing material for five hours that I used that night.  I feel good about it.  However,  I struggled with how the client received the material.

     I don't want ideas taken in, cognitively.  That is what happened Thursday evening.  Not good, bothering me, alot.  It's easy to learn, but not really live it---not know it
affectively----at the cellular, emotional level.

       Providing intellectual stimulation is not how I work.  Western culture worships the mind.  I don't.

      "Real, untamed faults" don't improve by mental effort.  Transcending vulnerabilities requires action, exercising principles.  Strong efforts establish habits that allow us to replace our default mode that fails us during crisis.

"When we make only superficial changes in ourselves, and give only  ardent lip service to our [growth], our progress is slow and our relapses many.  The regeneration must be a true spiritual rebirth.  It must go very deep, with each character flaw replaced by a new and good quality."         One Day At a Time, p 280

      Amen.

      This is how we transcend generational legacies.  Our ideal self  frequently isn't.  Many  ideals absorbed in childhood, that we consider as normal as breathing, need to be re-evaluated.  We will find fallacies among deeply cherished beliefs.

     Why am I writing about this?  I confront this problem with those I serve.  Personal improvement is not absorbing a new self-help book.  If only solving problems were that easy.

     They aren't.

"I must be completely honest with myself in uncovering the faults which hamper my spiritual growth.  One-by-one, watchfully  and painstakingly, I will replace  them constructive attitudes."       Ibid

     Doing a personal inventory of our character, our past, and areas needing growth offers greater success.  Also, we need the support of discerning others.  Life is not a correspondence program.  It is not a matter writing our reflections/responses at the end of each chapter of the latest book we read.  And we improve, just like that.

     Why?  Because we have blind spots.  A mentor asks us the hard questions.  He doesn't let us rationalize areas where our thinking or behavior is unacceptable.

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of the enemy are deceitful."     Proverbs 27:6

"Men imagine they communicate their virtue ... only by overt actions and words.  They do not see that virtue or it's opposite emits a breath at every moment. "

                                       Emerson,  Self-Reliance

     We reveal our character in the way we smile, the way we hold our shoulders, how we treat others when no one is looking.  For growth to happen, work is required---placing principles above our personality.

My Gratitudes:
1.  Rest.  I'll sleep in tomorrow morning.
2.  I made time for me and watched my team, the SF Giants play tonight, after work.
3.  I bought more stuff to help organize my life.  My place is improving with every week.
4.  I spent more than an hour straightening my bedroom. I love the order that resulted. It provides me with more peace of mind.
5.  I spoke with the manager of my bank about poor service. They responded well and will followup regarding my concerns, keeping me informed.

      I'm glad I was able to express what troubled me and they agreed with me. They are taking action.  I'm glad I spoke my truth calmly. Saying what I mean, meaning what I said, but not saying it meanly.
6.  I am glad that I'm making my life count. I want to use my gifts in service of others. If I can make one life breathe more easily, I will consider mine a success.

How About You? 
What are your three gratitudes?  Please let me hear from you!