Friday, May 16

Our Ideal Self Isn't, Part II ............. 5/16/14

     Thursday, I slaved away, writing material for five hours that I used that night.  I feel good about it.  However,  I struggled with how the client received the material.

     I don't want ideas taken in, cognitively.  That is what happened Thursday evening.  Not good, bothering me, alot.  It's easy to learn, but not really live it---not know it
affectively----at the cellular, emotional level.

       Providing intellectual stimulation is not how I work.  Western culture worships the mind.  I don't.

      "Real, untamed faults" don't improve by mental effort.  Transcending vulnerabilities requires action, exercising principles.  Strong efforts establish habits that allow us to replace our default mode that fails us during crisis.
"When we make only superficial changes in ourselves, and give only  ardent lip service to our [growth], our progress is slow and our relapses many.  The regeneration must be a true spiritual rebirth.  It must go very deep, with each character flaw replaced by a new and good quality."         One Day At a Time, p 280

      This is how we transcend generational legacies.  Our ideal self  frequently isn't.  Many  ideals absorbed in childhood, that we consider as normal as breathing, need to be re-evaluated.  We will find fallacies among deeply cherished beliefs.

     Why am I writing about this?  I confront this problem with those I serve.  Personal improvement is not absorbing a new self-help book.  If only solving problems were that easy.

     They aren't.
"I must be completely honest with myself in uncovering the faults which hamper my spiritual growth.  One-by-one, watchfully  and painstakingly, I will replace  them constructive attitudes."       Ibid
     Doing a personal inventory of our character, our past, and areas needing growth offers greater success.  Also, we need the support of discerning others.  Life is not a correspondence program.  It is not a matter writing our reflections/responses at the end of each chapter of the latest book we read.  And we improve, just like that.

     Why?  Because we have blind spots.  A mentor asks us the hard questions.  He doesn't let us rationalize areas where our thinking or behavior is unacceptable.
"Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of the enemy are deceitful."     Proverbs 27:6
"Men imagine they communicate their virtue ... only by overt actions and words.  They do not see that virtue or it's opposite emits a breath at every moment. "
                                       Emerson,  Self-Reliance
     We reveal our character in the way we smile, the way we hold our shoulders, how we treat others when no one is looking.  For growth to happen, work is required---placing principles above our personality.

My Gratitudes:
1.  Rest.  I'll sleep in tomorrow morning.
2.  I made time for me and watched my team, the SF Giants play tonight, after work.
3.  I bought more stuff to help organize my life.  My place is improving with every week.
4.  I spent more than an hour straightening my bedroom. I love the order that resulted. It provides me with more peace of mind.
5.  I spoke with the manager of my bank about poor service. They responded well and will followup regarding my concerns, keeping me informed.

      I'm glad I was able to express what troubled me and they agreed with me. They are taking action.  I'm glad I spoke my truth calmly. Saying what I mean, meaning what I said, but not saying it meanly.
6.  I am glad that I'm making my life count. I want to use my gifts in service of others. If I can make one life breathe more easily, I will consider mine a success.

How About You? 
What are your three gratitudes?  Please let me hear from you!


Teresa said...

Thank you Pablo for your constant valuable insight regarding how we can continue to work on our recovery and growth. I am always learning, growing and benefiting from your wealth of compassion, wisdom and knowledge. I am forever grateful for your presence here on this earth.

Pablo said...

Dear Teresa,

Wonderful, seeing you here! Wow. What kind words. I guess the hundred dollars I gave you, was a big enough bribe. :-> lol

I'm grateful for my presence on earth too. Although, I have a positive outlook on the alternative, awaiting me. It's even better.

I believe we are eternal until our work on earth is through. It appears God still has plans for me. My desire is hearing His voice and following him.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.