Sunday, May 25

Coping WIth Life's Detours and A Tale of Two People.... 5/25/14

      What a difference a day makes. Today was warm with a cool breeze, no humid-ity, beckoning for a lazy day.  It was not to be.  I worked out. I had visions of visiting one of my favorite places, with my family.  It was not to be.

     Instead, for four hours, I pushed heavy boxes on top of others. Nonstop, making room for what happens
next weekend.  I am moving.  The dragon of drama was stirred while I sweated and hefted cartons.  Fortunately, the drama awakened within a loved one needs to be worked out by the sufferer.  It is his issue.

      Catastrophizing is not my thing.  Turning over the happenstances of  life into God's hands works better for me, providing sanity and tranquility needed to enjoy the present, making the most of it.

       The plan was an overnight trip to Mendocino.  Through attending Al-Anon Family Groups I've learned to acknowledge we are powerless over the flukes of life.  This is Step One.  Life becomes manageable when I realize I do not have the power to deal with life's challenges.  It is unsatisfying and frustrating believing otherwise.  A delusion.   Life happens.  Our lesson is coping with Life's Detours.

       A son was upset I didn't create a mountain out of an unfortunate event.  No can do.  Instead, I defaulted to Plan B.  Moving boxes.  An alternative is available, if we but look.  There will be other weekends.  I may not control my circumstances, but I can control how I respond.  Lugging and toting boxes on a warm day was my choice.  Like a worker ant, I focused on my task, creating order out of chaos, enhancing my peace of mind.

      Relating involves honesty.  Being real, focusing on what is, rather than manipulating the outcome we want.  It is being resilient, resourceful, in touch with life offers us this day.  Today, I related with a perturbed person. I did not budge from my peace of mind.  His anger revealed he wanted a different response.

      Now, yesterday.  It was fantabulous.  Encouraged, I was while spending four-and-a-half hours with someone dear.  Honesty, openness, humor and love flowed.  Transparency shared with this person is better than with anyone else.  Ever.  It's that good.  Authenticity is the foundation of our relationship.  It is soul-satisfying, constructive, nurturing and uplifting.  How could I not be filled with gratitude?

      Saturday, we shared the same emotional and spiritual language.  I grow, when spending time with this person.  I beam,  filled with love.  We relate well.  Telegraphic is our conversation----we understand each other, connecting, even when diverging. If we were both exactly the same, one of us would be unnecessary.

      Can't beat that.   This person expands my world.  Am I glad.


      Today was a different, but just as good.  There was disappointment today.  I do not run wild with fretting and disappointment.  The loudest voice in my head is not necessarily the truest.  My face is not lined by the daunting pressure of fear, anxiety.  Or anger.

      Fear, catastrophizing, where is thy sting?  You have been banished from fortress of my serenity.  I am free from the delusion that worrying, makes life better.  Or happen.  Nope, life doesn't work that way.

How About You? 
How are you to reign in the alarming power of fear and worry? 

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Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.