Catastrophizing is not my thing. Placing the hap-penstances of life into God's hands is a better. It provides the sanity and tran-quility needed to enjoy the present, making the most of life.Through at-tending Al-Anon Family Groups we acknowledge we are powerless over the flukes and disap-pointments of life.
This is Step One.
Life is manageable when we realize we do not have the power to deal with life's challenges. It is unsatisfying and frustrating believing otherwise. Trying to control life is a delusion.
Life happens. Our lesson is coping with Life's Detours.
Recently, a son was upset I didn't create a mountain out of an unfortunate event. No can do.
Alternatives are available when facing life's detours--its disappointments. If we but look. We may not control our circumstances, but we can control how we respond.
Relating involves honesty. Being real, focusing on what is, rather than manipulating the outcomes we want. This is being resilient, resourceful, in touch with life offers.
Today, I related with a perturbed person. My peace of mind remained intact. This person's anger revealed he wanted a different response.
Authenticity is the foundation of any relationship. It is soul-satisfying, constructive, nurturing and uplifting. It fills us with gratitude.
It helps when we are of one mind when relating with others. Our trust grows, we enjoy connection, closeness and appreciation. We beam,
This is relating well. Telegraphically we converse--- understanding each other, connecting, even when diverging. If we are the same as the person we spend time with, one of us would be unnecessary.
Relating with authenticity expands our world. Our joy increases.
*****
Today involved disappointment. During such times--with recovery--our hearts know hope. Fretting is replaced with staying in the solution.
The loudest voice in our heads is not necessarily the truest. Our face are not lined by the pressure of fear, anxiety. Or anger.
With recovery, fear and catastrophizing no longer stings us. Recovery provides maturity. "Maturity is moving from thin skin and a hard heart to a thick skin and a soft heart." Charles Swindoll.
This happens when using recovery's perspective towards acceptance. It is very different from acceptance with resignation. See here for more about that.
Personal growth frees us from the delusion that worry or manipulation makes life better. Life becomes serene when we take time to pause when caught in the swirls of life. We step back from the negative momentums of life,
Making this time helps us gain better perspective. We show kindness towards our fears, by seeing what steps we can take to overcome life's difficulties.
It may be as simple as taking deep breaths.
When stressed it is common to hold our breath, when in hypoarousal. Hypoarousal is the feigned death response that often happens when we are overwhelmed.
Pausing is stepping away from negative thought streams. We no longer let problems define us, we only accept acceptable behavior. We relate with friends who fill us with love and support us.
Pausing is looking at our needs, and meeting them. It is seeing our needs, in addition those of others. When we do, life becomes manageable.
Joy replaces fear. Strength of character ousts passivity---playing the victim role. Life becomes fuller when we take our place in the world, confidently, with the clear direction and strength recovery offers.
How About You?
How are you to rein in the alarming power of fear and worry?
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