Thursday, May 31

Having Had a Spiritual Awakening While Cycling .................. 5/31/12

If we expect to receive happiness we are obligated to give
happiness. We have no right to consume it without producing it.
        Hello guests to the Attitude of Gratitude Inn,

Yep, I did it again. Tonight, I hit the road on my bike. Am I glad.  I made time, investing in the physical part of me. Enhancing my serenity and expending pent-up energies was both

Wednesday, May 30

Guarding Our Emotional Sobriety, Revisited 5/30/12

         How was your day?  I was tired. Then again, I didn't get to bed until 5:00 this morning.  I'm leaving you with something I wrote almost a year ago, June 4th, last year.
Images: "Swiss Mountain Farm" by Tim Blessed, all rights reserved, used by permission.
Guarding Our Emotional Sobriety
      Recently, someone tried engaging me in an argument. I stopped it, cold. I don't care for

Antidotes to Panic ..............................5/30/12

Image: "Countryside: Leafy Path" by Tim Blessed. All rights reserved. 
        Thank you, for dropping by. My, how wonderful it is seeing so many comments from the guests to this inn! I love it. I appreciate your birthday greetings, too. :)

        I've been in the eye of a busy schedule.  Today, I

Monday, May 28

Celebrating Life: Saturday and Especially Today ..............................5/28/12

If you take a look, you'll see this lovely rose is frayed around the edges. 
         The talk I gave went well, beyond what I could have imagined. More about that, later. I'm still writing about it in another draft.

         Saturday was wonderful, sensational and thrilling.  It was a day of challenge, which I am always up for. Speaking regularly before others is something I've done since fourteen.

         Public speaking is fun. It allows me to wed different parts of me. I love studying. Talking before others allows me to share my research and what I am passionate about: principles that encourage, help and heal others, ideas that allow me to tend to and invigorate roses browned by the stresses of life.

         Communicating before others is a form of drama. This most recent experience was no different. The whole time I'm before an audience, it communicates with me.  And so it was.  I only needed eyes and a heart that truly look and listen.

         After speaking, I was besieged.  People lined up, their hurts, tears, pain, and joy they brought when we visited. For a half hour, I got acquainted with those whose smiling faces I saw when I was on the platform.  Others stood by, trying to glean from the mini conversations I had with each person.  It looks like I have several new clients.

         People are hungry for principles that allow us to surmount our vulnerabilities. For some that are helpful, please click here.

        This is who I really am: a speaker.  Being the innkeeper to this inn is the challenge.  My strength is not writing prose. Give me a subject and I can write outlines in my sleep.  I'm sure you can tell.  Outlines allow me to move from thought-to-thought. I fill in the gaps when I speak.

         It's an entirely different style conveying thoughts, word-by-word, sentence upon sentence.  It requires a different discipline. Writing---as I do here---reins in my racing thoughts, It slows them down.  Writing is labor.  When I speak, my thoughts gallop away, enjoying the beautiful country roads of invigorating principles at a breath taking pace.

         However, the permanence of the written word propels me to plug away and post.  And post.  And post, one word at a time.  I've been under the regimen of writing, daily, for two or more hours, for the past two years and nine months. This is the result of tending to this inn, and when it was located at two previous addresses.

          Being a dutiful innkeeper provides blessings never imagined. I'm growing in an area where I was weak. Thoughts are recorded that otherwise would flit by if they were only spoken. Best of all, I've met new friends---you who cheer the innkeeper with your comments and visits.
Success depends not in how well we do the things we enjoy, but in how conscientiously we perform those duties that we don't. 
                      John Maxwell, Developing the Leader Within You

      I am humbled and thankful for having an amazingly fulfilling profession.  I help people.  Doing so, I love.  It's not my job, it's my joy and privilege. It requires much effort, work that goes beyond my time with those I counsel or teach. The great thing is that I love every aspect of my career and every second of what I do.


        In addition to giving a talk, Saturday I rode bikes with my youngest son, Josiah.  Afterwards, he and I gathered with friends and my other sons, for an early celebration of my birthday. The big day is today.

        This is the day I emerged into the world in human form.  I celebrate my life and all that is within it, including knowing a loving, gracious, patient, God. I love my family and friends. They are incarnational ambassadors of God's love for me.  I deeply enjoy my work, music, nature, books and the night.

        I have stars to explore, clouds to ride, mountains to climb and books to publish. Thank you for joining me in this journey. Thank you for your friendship. Thank you for dropping by the Attitude of Gratitude Inn.

       A happy innkeeper

  P.S.  I'll also let you know something personal about me, too. Let me just say: "a woman."  Is that intriguing?  Did I get your attention?

Sunday, May 27

Not Going Into an Emotional Storm Alone & No Longer Being a Super Hero: Retiring the Cape (Freedom from Codependency) Revisited ..................5/27/12

Have you taken time to thank God? You'll be glad you did     
        I wrote the following not long ago, in February.  The message is important.  We do not get healed in isolation.  It is a good idea welcoming our needs. They are God's way of extruding us into relationship with Safe People.

        For growth, we need a different consciousness than the one that created our problems, our challenges. This means we have to get beyond ourselves.  We don't have the psychological nor emotional distance to heal ourselves.  Here's the post:
       Wednesday evening I gathered with friends. I'm grateful for the support of dear ones. Speaking of which......
A home in my neighborhood
Not Alone While Weathering a Emotional Storm
        Yesterday, I spoke with my friend Charli while strolling through my neighborhood for an hour. She's in her seventies, whose insights I respect. A notepad, reading glasses and pen were on hand, while I walked and wrung wisdom from this wonderful woman.
        She's the definition of pithiness. Jotting down her comments helps.  When she speaks, I'm unable to process it all. In minutes, she pours out useful wisdom that takes me a week to digest. Am I lucky knowing her. 
         It's been since October since we've connected. I was in dire need and happy when I heard her alert voice at the other end of my call. 
         It strengthens me, having friends. They set me straight. Time with her reminded me of the value of not living in isolation. Charli's comments oriented me after recently slamming into the sliding glass door of an unpleasant reality. 
        The jarring experience of someone who screamed at me, in front of eighteen other friends had clouded my perspective over the past month. I didn't want to react to the unpleasant event; I desired to respond.  Charli's experience, strength and hope was sought.  
         Her insight was appreciated: there was the possibility of seeing the screamer that evening. Charlie didn't let me down.
         Talking with her, reacquainted me with her humor. Laughing heartily, several times, while we talked was a welcomed respite. I was concerned by the behavior of the screaming bully. I relaxed again, because of my friend's support. 
         Thanks, Charli. I love you and am lucky having your support. You demonstrate the value of not living alone, relying only on my own resources. 
         I'm thankful for the practical help available when in relationship with emotionally mature others. I become a better person. Clearer insights are conjured.  The collective strength of my supportive community is a gift I don't want to neglect.  
         Better responses I learn. Better than any I could come up with, if I were left to my distorted my perspective. All that was required was willingness to admit I'm not God. I admitted my vulnerability. 
         I'm thankful for the emotional and psychological distance Balcony People provide. 
Retiring the Cape 
         The other day, I was with a friend. She was depressed. I watched her struggle to express her needs. It appeared she expected others to intuit what she wanted and provide for her. 
         This attractive woman's slumped-over body screamed despair while she and I were with a crowd of friends. My "rescuer" self wrestled with the idea of taking out my hidden cape of codependency. My saner self  reminded me I'm neither Mighty Mouse nor God. I stayed put. 
          I'm glad I did not react to the siren call of her miserable, depressed expressions. Her desire to get healthier needs to be stronger than my desire to help. Such is not the case.
My Gratitudes:
1. Beautiful Bay Area weather
2. Reuniting with friends at a restaurant, until the late hours of the evening. Nothing beats community, love, shared joy and support.
3. I'm able to write this post; it's great connecting with you.
4. I bought a wonderful toy last night. I got a cyclometer that calculates the distance I ride, the speed---both average and the maximum----during the trip and time elapsed. I love seeing progress. This device will help.
5. This afternoon, a friend and I rode our bike for an hour circling the island town where I live. Afterwards, we discussed healthy ways of handling anger. All of which made for a terrific afternoon.
How About You?  
1. Who aids you, when you need it? Today, Charli helped me. 
2. Who do you seek out, when you're stumped? 
3 Are there any other suggestions as to what a person can do, to get support, while going through a tough time? What works for you?
     I like hearing your ideas; my perspective is limited. 
    Have I told you I'm glad when you drop by and sign the registry to this inn by commenting, sharing your gratitudes and saying hello to the innkeeper?   :)

Friday, May 25


   I hope you had a terrific Friday.
My Gratitudes:
1.  I was able to mention my concerns I had in a relationship with someone. He heard me out. I am grateful for the respect he showed and his cooperation.
2.  I look forward to speaking early Saturday morning. I enjoy the adventure of talking before a new audience at a new venue. I'm thankful for the confidence I have about this opportunity. I'll be sharing on a subject that is dear to me: gratitude.
3.  I had a good session with someone this afternoon.  I like seeing the learning and growth that this person is going through, as a result of our time together.

Wishing you the best,


Time With Family ...............................5/25/12

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. (Mahatma Gandhi)
         Good morning,

I just got in. I spent the evening with my oldest son. We miniature golfed, followed by

Wednesday, May 23

Kindness Pays ...............................5/23/12

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. 
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may
 never be enough. Give your best anyway. 

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.”
Mother Theresa
      Good evening,

How was your day?  I'm weary. A busy day was had. I had someone negotiating with me over five cents.  Can you believe that?  "I'm a businessman and

Tuesday, May 22

Riding, Walking Through Fear. Also, Putting Our Job On Probation ..........5/22/12

To understand the whole work of the Master is not in my power; but to do His will 
as written in my conscience is, and when I do this, then I am at peace. (Leo Tolstoy)
Image: "Elderberry and Swan" by Tim Blessed.
 Copyrighted photo, used by permission.
      Good evening,

Today, all of the conditioning I've gotten from bike riding the past few months was

Monday, May 21

Serenity: Balanced Living .............................5/21/12

Image: "Countryside: After the Rain." by Tim Blessed.
 Copyrighted photo. All rights reserved. Used by permission. 
      How was your day?

Monday is my day off. I needed it. Tomorrow I have

Sunday, May 20

Be Responsive To, But Not Responsible For, The Circumstances of Others, Revisited ..............5/20/12

This lady is not opening her mouth for a dental checkup
    Good evening everyone, 

I'm about to take off for an evening ride on my bicycle. The day has been good and restful. Just what I needed. 

      I see from the sidebar that this post has been popular for the month, and the past week.  For those who haven't read it, I'm bumping it up so you can check it out.  Let me know if you resonate with it.
         It was a dramatic day.  I avoid them, when possible. An intriguing conversation with someone I almost did business with, took place this afternoon; thank God for intuition---we need to trust it. Glad, I am, that I did.

         A woman pressed upon me----expected me----

Enjoying the Upper View of the Embroidery of Life ..............................5/20/12

Arrowhead Marsh. The Bay to my right, development to my left, as I rode Friday.
        Good morning,

I'll bed down soon. But first, thank you for your encouragement regarding the progress I'm making with

Saturday, May 19

The Innkeeper's Vision and Challenge

Material things may temporarily satisfy the body, but they can never satisfy the spirit of man,
 which cries out to God for the joy, happiness and eternal fulfilment that only He can give.

Image: "Riverside: Graceful Willows" by Tim Blessed. All rights
 reserved. Used by his kind permission. Copyrighted material.
     Good late evening everyone,

I've been a busy man, but a happy one, too. Thanks so much for dropping by this inn of gratitude.  Most of you know I write with regularity. I missed a post on Wednesday and now, Friday, too.


     I may not have posted here, but I snuck into this place, replying to comments written by guests, over the past few days. I value your visits and make every effort in acknowledging them, as soon as I can.
The Innkeeper's Vision
     One thing I'd love see happen in the Attitude of Gratitude Inn, is having in-depth conversations in the comments section. I encourage your input regarding the subjects raised here.  I truly believe we learn from one another. My perspective is limited. Growth will happen for me, as I learn and hear from you.

     So, please be aware, not only do I answer ALL comments, but I usually ask follow up questions regarding what you've written. Or I'll go further into the subject, sharing additional thoughts.

   I truly enjoy knowing you better. That happens when we have conversations. That transpires when you comment. I also know I can learn much from each of you who frequent this place. Yep, you.
The Innkeeper's Challenge
    So, who'll engage me in a conversation? Are you on for it? The innkeeper loves going one-on-one with you. Each of you have unique personalities. Each of you are a beautiful person. I mean it. This isn't fluff. I think you know me better than that.

      Who will get the ball rolling?

    Someone has said (I know who, but I'll leave it at that) that when we connect with another, a new universe is created that never existed until that relationship was started. I agree.

Thursday, May 17

Silencing Critical Dragons: Being Gentle Towards Self ..............................5/17/12

"If you use disappointments as sort of mid-semester exams, for learning, you will
 learn that every disappointment you overcome makes you stronger, and wiser."
And you will learn the value of taking care of yourself by being gentle and loving
towards yourself as you go through processing the difficult time, I might add. 
      Good evening,

Did you miss me? I was gone for

Tuesday, May 15

Getting Things Done, Feeling Good About It, Seeing Results .............................5/15/12

"People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they
 don't know when to quit.  Most men succeed because they are determined to."
George E. Allen
    How are you?

My Gratitudes for Tuesday:
1. I completed a major project today. I'm thankful for

Monday, May 14

The Value of Forgiveness and Living So As To Be Missed ..............................5/14/12

The necklace of lights on the Bay Bridge. I saw this from a different
 angle while riding my bike tonight. The City lies beyond its span.
      Good evening,

The start of a new week.  How did it go for you? I'm tired. A late evening ride tonight has done me in, physically. It sure is good building up

Sunday, May 13

A Tribute To A Special Woman ............................5/13/12

I'm bumping this up. I wrote the following last year.  The words are just as true today as they were then.  I wish you a great Mother's Day.


        A special thanks to all mothers dropping by today. Your selfless

Saturday, May 12

In Everything Thankful (Not For Everything)

     How was your day?

Today, the weather was beautiful here in the San Francisco Bay Area.  I met with

Friday, May 11

Parading the Elephant: Expressing What Bothers Us, Revisited (Doing so with kindness is a source of relief from stress and anger.) .............................5/11/12

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
(Answer at the end of today's post.)
   How are you?

Today, the weather was fantastic.  I love where I live.  I met with clients and with someone I mentor.  Afterwards, I was

Thursday, May 10

Crown Beach. Where I stood, as the moon beam reached out to me. 
     How you be?

The other day I rode along the south shore of Alameda on my bicycle when I scooted up a narrow rocky peninsula, maybe 60 feet across. It protruded

I'm Not Who I Used to Be ............... 5/10/12

If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to
 be thankful for what he's going to get.   ~Frank A. Clark

Image: "Wetlands: Golden Pond" by Tim Blessed. All rights reserved.
Copyrighted material. Used by permission. 
     I was stunned, earlier today.  I'm not the person I thought I was.  As a young man, I was an

Tuesday, May 8

Happiness Is a Choice, Part III ..........5/8/12

An attitude of gratitude in the midst of all things allows us to make the best of whatever comes our way.
Image: "Riverside: 200 Year Old Brickwork." by Tim Blessed. 
Copyrighted photograph. Used by permission. Photographer's caption. 
     Good evening everyone,

How was your Tuesday?  I believe that everything rises and falls with

Monday, May 7

Balanced by Boundaries

Alameda Island. If you use a little imagination, it looks like a whale moving from left to right.
   Good evening,

How was your weekend? Mine was

Sunday, May 6

Slowing Down, Revisited ................................5/6/12

      Hello everyone,
I see in the sidebar that many recently have read this post. It's one of the most popular in the past week. I'm bumping this up for those who haven't read it. This was written last July but it's still relevant. Let me know what you think.
      Today, I had a session with a client that I met for the first time last week.  I like being  practical in my work. Getting a lot done----addressing his needs and seeing concrete

Responding, Not Reacting, To An Insult

Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.
My Gratitudes for Saturday (they are a bit late):
Reserving Judgment: Because My Perspective Is Limited
1.  I saw someone this morning, while with a group of friends.
       Avoiding her was my first reaction. Instead, it ended up that

Thursday, May 3

Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy? (Revisited) And, Must Haves and Can't Stands 5/3/12

You may feel that the world is too messed up, that too many wrong choices have been made,
that it doesn't matter much what you do, that it's hopeless. But that's not true. Just as every
problem can be traced to a wrong decision, every solution begins with a wise and loving
decision to do the right thing, the loving and unselfish thing.

A little bit of love can make a lot of difference. One act of kindness or unselfishness can start
a whole chain reaction of events that will, in the long run, make life a lot better for a lot of people
So don't despair because there is so much suffering and grief and wrong in the world. Instead,
do what you can to make things right and encourage others to do the same. The world won't
change in a day, but we can make a difference if we try. (Photographer's lovely caption)
All rights reserved for this and all of his other photos, which are frequently featured in this inn.
Innkeeper's Note:
        I wrote this last year. I found it

Wednesday, May 2

Tuesday, May 1

The Innkeeper Values Autonomy, Order, Baseball and Pizza ...........5/1/12

Unconditional gratitude melts away the bars of perceived
 past wrongs, and frees our present to be all it can be.
    How are you?
The weather was terrific. The day was restful, productive and tasty. I look forward to the future.
My Gratitudes for Tuesday: 
1. This evening, I removed

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.