Wednesday, December 31

The Year In Review 12/31/14

   This year in review:

1. Life was richer. My soul soared more than ever.  I had more excellent times with loved ones, clients and friends than any other year.
2. I wrote more

Tuesday, December 30

A Reflective, Grateful Innkeeper 12/30/14

      I am not quite sure who I am today.  I've gone through a lot lately. More about that when I have time to write and clear out my head.  Below are gratitudes for today.

1.  For personal growth.  I am different than I was two years ago,  five months ago, than I was last
week. I have a greater inner peace than I realized.  Mine has been strong for decades. Now, it guards my heart in ways

Roses for Ashes 12/30/14

        A bittersweet time was had Sun-day.  I let go of a relationship, sweetly.  Love accompanied sorrow, connection partnered with sepa-ation.  The visit had laughter and tears stirred together.  Ashes of loss birthed four bouquets of

Saturday, December 27

Inventory of the Past Week............ 12/27/14

      How was your Christmas?  Mine was fine, spent with someone dear Thurs-day morning and with the family in the afternoon, evening.  This holi-day will linger until

Thursday, December 25

My Favorite Christmas Story... 12/25/14

Today's illustrations are from my favorite
Christmas book,The Christ Child, Illustrated
by Miska and Maud Petersham 
     Merry Christmas.  I hope each guest of this inn had a lovely day.  I did.  What is Christmas?  Nope, it isn't about gifts.  It's about one Gift,
Christ.  This holiday is about God taking on human form, dwelling among us, full of grace and truth.  (John 1:14) I know for many this is no longer true.

     Thank you, for visiting this year. Inspired and encouraged, is my

Tuesday, December 23

Arriving at Clarity... 12/23/14

Gratitudes For This Evening:
1.  Met with friends tonight.  Lovely.  The subject was one we all connected with: feelings.
2.  Visited Christmas Lane in the island town of Alameda.  A wonder for the eyes.
3.  This week is the

Monday, December 22

My Second Favorite Christmas Story 12/22/14

     In keeping with our countdown for Christmas, I present this story.  If you missed the previous season-related tale, my third favorite, you can find it here.  

     I wrote this in 2011, presenting it on Christmas Eve, here.  I'm making it

Sunday, December 21

My Third Favorite Christmas Story 12/21/14

WWII photo of the Ardennes Forest
      Good evening, one and all. I hope life is treating you well. For many, this is a frantic, mater-ialistic season.       
        Needn't be so.  In the inn, we're having a countdown for the biggest day of this month.  For this, and the next two days, I am sharing stories I've written related to this season.  My  hope is to

Saturday, December 20

Expressing Feelings and Values, Not Acting Like The Codependent Person I Was Groomed to Be ....................12/20/14

           I visited a blog Friday night.  Appal-led.  No emotions expressed. What was written was theore-tical, giving the semblance of thoughts of an unim-aginative college student writing a college paper.  As tasty as distilled water.  Honesty, vulnerability or transparency were

Wednesday, December 17

A Recently Upset Innkeeper. Five Lessons Learned.......... 12/17/14

       I am upset.  [Innkeeper's Note: No longer true, after re-writing this post and outlining my thoughts Thursday morning.] That's okay.  It's good being emotional disturbed----the alternative is worse, not in tune with our feelings.  It is im-portant ,for our mental health, feel-ing the enormity
of our emotions. With recovery we can, without being

Tuesday, December 16

Patience Tested---I Am Getting Stronger ....... 12/16/14

          Full day of work, depleting me emotionally and physically.  I'm worn out. Wasted time this evening, prepping and driving to Alameda to see a client. She bailed out, due to depression.  Maintained my peace of mind, in spite of this happening.

         Pushed on, pushing a

Monday, December 15

The Value and Joy Known When Internally Referented......... 12/15/14

     It's been awhile since I have written about external referenting, not referencing.  Check the labels at the bottom of this inn. There are several listings about this concept.  Often, we are this way when

Saturday, December 13

Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?..... 12/13/14

You may feel that the world is too messed up, that too
many wrong choices have been made,that it doesn't
matter much what you do, that it's hopeless. But that's
not true. Just as every problem can be traced to a wrong
decision, every solution begins with a wise and loving
decision to do the right thing, the loving and unselfish

A little bit of love can make a lot of difference. One act
of kindness or unselfishness can start a whole chain re-
action of events that will, in the long run, make life a
lot better for a lot of people. So don't despair because
there is so much suffering and grief and wrong in the
 world. Instead, do what you can to make things right
and encourage others to do the same. The world won't
 change in a day, but we can make a difference if we
try. (Photographer's caption) All rights reserved.

Saturday's Gratitudes:
1. I made time for me.  I had a migraine headache last night.  I slowed down today.
2. I'm thankful for discernment that allows me to avoid others who are not good for me.
3. Rain.  Plenty of it.  We needed it.  I also like how creates a different mood.  It makes hunkering down and reading a pleasure to do.
4. Wrote a letter today.  I enjoy letter writing.

Thursday, December 11

The Innkeeper Was A Burglar......... 12/11/14

     Yesterday I was a burglar.  At least two people thought I was.   I wasn't appre-hended.  As I type, I am not  handcuffed.  A fellow saw me, calling the owner of the house on her cell phone, while I made a visit.

      On the door, I rapped.  Since this event, I was told this is the burglar way.  This is what the police told the homeowner.  At least I did that right.

      Inside, the dog barked viciously, growling also.  Normally,

Tuesday, December 9

An Un-American Concept, We Are Primarily Spiritual, Revisited ......... 12/9/14

Image: "Snowdonia: Nantgwynant" by Tim Blessed.
 All rights reserved. Use by permission.
        I am re-posting what you find below.  It is one of the all-time favorite posts written, number six.  You may not have read it yet or were not around when I wrote it three years ago, this last November.   Here it is:

        I'll share a few thoughts interspers-ed with recounting a day that was demanding, emotionally and mentally.

        I prefer days like these to be few and far between.  A calmer pace allows my

Monday, December 8

Dips and Turns Are The Stuff of Life. Avoided the Fangs Of An Emotional Vampire 1,000th Post ......... 12/8/14

The Giant Dipper at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk
Innkeeper's Note:  This post is the one thousandth. Wow.  And I have sixty-three drafts I haven't posted.   I like celebrating milestones.

     Thank you, for your visits.  It means much, making what I do here

Saturday, December 6

Ten Antidotes to Worry, Fear ........ 12/6/14

   I am tired.Con-cerned.  Worried even.  I will focus on what makes me thankful.
1.    Not reacting or catastrophizing when hangups appear.
2.    For love received from

Thursday, December 4

Ten Things That Make For a Healthier Relationship. What's Happening With The Innkeeper........ ................. 12/4/14

  What have I learned lately?  How about this:

1.  Speak truth.  But, do so gently.  "The mouth of the wise commends knowledge. But from the mouth of the fool gushes folly." Proverbs 15:2
2.  Be present.  Share what is alive within me, graciously.  This means not being triggered or motivated by fear.  Presence is possible when we are

Wednesday, December 3

It Is Never My Responsibility To......... Revisited 12/3/14

         Good evening, the following has been around for a while---three years last November.  It's so old you may have overlooked it. I am re-posting it, for those new to the inn and those who need their consciousness to breathe in the principles sprinkled below.

         This passage is about being truly internally referented. Yes, that is an actual word. It's about taking care of ourselves---not losing who we are because of our relationships with others. 

          May you have a great, vibrant, rest of the week as you seize life, not letting it meekly pass you by.          The Innkeeper
"Amidst the constant turmoil and drama that surrounds us, as we live life, many
stop noticing what is going on with themselves.  Something more important and
life threatening always seems to intervene.  When we acknowledge a situation as
 it is, we want look at our options instead of looking at the options available to
other people."   Courage to Change, p.359

The following are general principles from Al-Anon Family Groups. I'm sure they
 will help when trying to figure out our responsibility in our relationships with others. 

It Is Never My Responsibility To: 
ive what I really don’t want to give
Sacrifice my integrity to anyone
Do more than I have time to do

Monday, December 1

Making Amends, Better Than Apologies...... 12/1/14

Innkeeper's Note:  Amends. Far superior to apologies.  Best way to restore fractured rela-tionships.  I wrote the following three-and-a-half-years ago.  Still a good subject.  Let me know your thoughts.  Here it is: 

     Amends is a source for emotional and psychological relief,  ridding us from unnecessary guilt. 

      It's rewarding, having the
support of caring friends and family members.  I enjoy growth when I embrace the difficult parts of life.  Such as making things right with someone I offended.

     Earlier today, I met with a friend I've known for 30+ years.  I learned of issues requiring mending with his wife.  She's held a grudge for more than fifteen years.  I had no idea. I like

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.