Wednesday, December 3

It Is Never My Responsibility To......... Revisited 12/3/14

         Good evening, the following has been around for a while---three years last November.  It's so old you may have overlooked it. I am re-posting it, for those new to the inn and those who need their consciousness to breathe in the principles sprinkled below.

         This passage is about being truly internally referented. Yes, that is an actual word. It's about taking care of ourselves---not losing who we are because of our relationships with others. 

          May you have a great, vibrant, rest of the week as you seize life, not letting it meekly pass you by.          The Innkeeper
"Amidst the constant turmoil and drama that surrounds us, as we live life, many
stop noticing what is going on with themselves.  Something more important and
life threatening always seems to intervene.  When we acknowledge a situation as
 it is, we want look at our options instead of looking at the options available to
other people."   Courage to Change, p.359

The following are general principles from Al-Anon Family Groups. I'm sure they
 will help when trying to figure out our responsibility in our relationships with others. 

It Is Never My Responsibility To: 
ive what I really don’t want to give
Sacrifice my integrity to anyone
Do more than I have time to do
Drain my strength for others
Listen to unwise counsel
Remain in an unfair relationship
Be anyone but exactly who I am
Conform to unreasonable demands
Be 100% perfect
Follow the crowd
Please unpleasant people
             Bear the burden of another’s misbehavior
Do something I really cannot do
Endure my own negative thoughts
Feel guilty towards my inner desires
Submit to overbearing conditions
             Apologize for being myself
Meekly let life pass me by


Thumper said...


I have the main points of "It Is Never My Responsibility to..." posted on the wall of my bedroom and have had them there for a good year now. I read them daily and am reminded not to live for the approval of others and not to be externally referented. I do not have to be a people pleasing doormat anymore. I can instead stand in my power and take care of myself and my needs, a new and amazing concept for me.

Pablo said...

Dear Thumper,

It means a lot, that what I have shared here has taken residence not only in your heart, but in your bedroom. Wow!

You have made big-time improvements in your outlook. I am impressed. We want to be sensitive towards others, but that does not mean ignoring ourselves. I bet you are feeling more nurtured, now that you are more conscious about taking care of your needs.

Doing so, helps you to handle all the stress you have. Kudos to you!!

I love it, punching in the time clock, starting my work as the innkeeper today and discovering your gratitudes. It put a big smile on my face!

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.