Monday, December 8

Dips and Turns Are The Stuff of Life. Avoided the Fangs Of An Emotional Vampire 1,000th Post ......... 12/8/14

The Giant Dipper at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk
Innkeeper's Note:  This post is the one thousandth. Wow.  And I have sixty-three drafts I haven't posted.   I like celebrating milestones.

     Thank you, for your visits.  It means much, making what I do here
worthwhile.  I hope the next thousand posts offer the encouragement and insights you need to enlarge your Attitude of Gratitude.

     **********

       Life is good.  Even when challenges assault us.   Life's disappointments do not have to pierce our equanimity, as hard as dark circumstances try.

       Dark times will be followed by uplifting moments. Count on it. Such is life, having its dips and bends.

        We want accept it, not catastrophizing when we are sucker punched by unexpected circumstances.  Our sanity and serenity can stay intact. The loudest voice, our catastrophizing emotions, are not necessarily the truest.

        A positive outcome is just as likely as a negative one.

        Having an Attitude of Gratitude makes us resilient.  What makes this internal peace during turbulent times possible?  What allows us to have a composure that transcends negative circumstances?

        Knowing that there is a Higher Power who loves us, is patient with our foibles and wants us to know His graciousness towards us.  We are also bolstered when we enjoy a loving, supportive community of caring friends.  This is our supportive network.

       Life can be a roller coaster ride, a Giant Dipper experience.  Luckily, the Dramamine of recovery and connecting with God keeps our stomach in place---barely.  We can thrive, even knowing joy---see This post.

        Unfortunately, great times can be followed by unpleasantness, circumstances that can drain us, mentally, emotionally.  It helps, drawing strength from within.

       It is important spending time alone.  We need time to process the abrupt turns and dips endured while riding life's roller coaster.
     
       Recently I tangled with an emotional vampire.  I did not know he was until it was too late.  Again, this is where good friends propped me up after being punched, knocked to the floor unexpectedly, by his toxicity.

      The Dracula I wrestled with tried piercing the neck of my sense of self with fangs of false accusations.  His values and projections compelled him to tell me that I was a bad person.  Wow.  I was taken aback.

        Afterwards, I was lucky, receiving loving support. Troubling feelings percolating within, I voiced while with friends.  They warded the hurtful vampire away.

        The fed me the garlic of the truth of who I am. I am caring, kind, a leader, and encourager, organized, who loves life.  They gently nurtured me with the broth of supportive love.

        We can be grateful for the bridge of Balcony People who transport us back to emotional safety.

          These emotionally mature friends are the guard rail the prevent us from crashing down the embankment of condemning self-judgment and self-blame.  Such companions stand in the gap, o our behalf. They support us when we encounter unsafe others.

        You know the type. Those with values that are as distorted and as twisted as the images we see in the house of curved mirrors when attending a carnival.

        Our supportive network listens when we share our difficulties.  They care. They encourage, when we are out of sorts.

        No disparagement.  When we are mangled by our quota of defeats, true friends are there to remind of another time, when we were beautiful.
     
       They help us to lighten up, but they do not stab at our dignity or our vulnerabilities by judging us or plying us with blame or shame..

       A soul-saver during crisis is realizing our powerlessness.  It is critical for us to let go of what troubles us. There is one God.

       We are not Him.  He's committed to our happiness, welfare and future.

        Hey, we are human.  We have areas to work on, to better our life.  Problems with others are resolved when speaking our truth.  We have more authentic relationships when we state our feelings.
       We let others know what we want.  And what we don't want, when connecting with them.

       This is keeping the focus on ourselves.  Equally, it's important hearing the responses of others.  This is finding out their feelings and needs after hearing us out.  We want to have a "we" left standing when negotiating with others.

        Recovery is connecting, relating with others, not manipulating them.  This means trying to discover the outcome when there is an impasse when relating with others.

       The uniqueness of each person is respected.  Joy happens when melding differences with others in a co-creative, respectful way.

        Having a positive relationship with the God of our understanding and being embraced by our supportive community unburdens the weight on our emotional shoulders. It allows us to have greater confidence, intimacy and enjoy emotional safety along with an Attitude of Gratitude.

How About You? 
What is your response to this post? 

2 comments:

Thumper said...

Dear Pablo,

I am so happy that you were able to receive loving support from your balcony people! I am finding out how important it is to have them in my life. They keep me afloat when I begin to sink into worry, anxiety and despair. I am so very grateful for them and I consistently try to reciprocate. Recently, I reached out to someone in despair at my place of work. This person most definetely needed a kind soul, someone to trust and listen. My compassion comes from my difficult past and my recent experiences with my new balcony friends that I know I can count on. It feel so good to give back when I can! I am grateful.
Pablo, you are in my prayers. Sending positive thoughts your way!

Thumper

Pablo said...

Dear Thumper,

I agree with you. Getting help from those who care about me helped me calm down, after being upset.

Isn't it great to comfort others with the comfort with which you were comforted? I am happy hearing that you are having a positive impact upon others. I appreciate your prayers, too!

Thank you, for dropping by. A grateful innkeeper,
Pablo

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.

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