Tuesday, October 27

Freed From Victimhood: It Requires Effort 1027/15

    Thankful for boundaries.  Ac-cepting unacceptable behavior is not my thing. Relate with a professional victim.  I do not get caught up with this way he controls others.  That is, manipu-lating their

Sunday, October 25

Tears of Healing 10/25/15

More about him in a moment. 
        I cried.

       Touched and fearful I was. Twelve people lined up, facing me. One at a time, they shared the good they saw.  In.  Me. 

       It was hard. Taking it in.  As the waves of their com-passionate words

Tuesday, October 20

A Client Becomes a Liberated Woman 10/20/15

      It was twenty-two minutes past the time of our session.

      Calling her, I discovered she had no means of driving over.  Her husband gave her car to a Russian friend. He moved today

Sunday, October 18

Not Moved By Drama................ 10/18/15

"Life is a great cycle of cause and effect. Everyone makes choices every day, and everyone's
choices affect others.  The combination of everyone's choices and the effect those choices
have on others makes the world what it is.

"Every problem can be traced to some unloving or selfish choice someone made. These
errors are the major cause of problems in the world today---selfishness and lack of love.
People either don't see how their wrong choices affect others or they don't care enough
to do things differently."  This lovely caption is from Tim Blessed, the photographer of
the image above and of many that have become the windows of this inn. 

Image: "England: Cumbria-Country Road Bridge"  Copyrighted photo. Used by permission

      Drama should not move us.

      Recently, a client of a few months came to emotional charged inaccurate conclusions.  He was triggered because I had sessions with his wife.  Get this---he referred his wife to me. He expected me to react to his fears. He believed I was taking her side.

      His excited imaginings reveals emotional baggage.  Mental chatter prevents him from being present.  He could not see reality: objectivity is central to what I do. Drama was avoided. Yielding to this client's pressure didn't happen.

      It is always preferred, placing principles above personalities.  Fearful, exaggerated behavior serves no one.  Submitting to it leads to chaos.  Giving in to strong emotions creates unpredictability. No longer are we living by principles.

     We are led by a seesawing perspective. We are surrendering to an agitated person.  Usually this is someone who disregards our needs and feelings.  We want to see their behavior for what it is: manipulation.

      Upset people do not want us to make decisions based on what is right.  They want us to make decisions based on their reactions to our values.  That is placing personalities---the agitated person's----first.  No can do.  Recovery is not giving in to the pressure of unpleasant or disturbed people.  To do otherwise is codependency.
Gratitudes for Today
1.  I was inspired by a talk I heard this morning. I like the clarity it provided about making  decisions. 
2.  I rested today.  It helps me thrive and balance my intense weeks.  I don't care to burn out. 
3.  Last night's conversation. 

How About You?
What are your gratitudes for today?

Saturday, October 17

Truly Connecting: Living Without Walls................ 10/17/15

       How you be?  An epic night, it was, this evening. But good.  Physically and emotionally, I am drained.  Wednesday, I awoke at 5:00 a.m.

      Grabbed a laptop and banged away. A critical outline for tonight was pro-duced. Thoughts surfaced during that bewitching time between being semi-asleep and almost being awake.  My rational mind was not present. What my subconscious said, was captured.

     Tonight confirmed its wisdom.  Am I glad.


       Calmness envel-oped both of us while having dinner.  The stakes were high.  We visited Horatio's. It's a restaurant located at the San Leandro marina. It faces the San Francisco Bay.  The reassuring presence of a smart-phone pressed against my chest. It rested in the breast pocket of my sports coat. It had Wednesday morning's outline.

        It was an out-of-body experience. I watched my behav-ior while dining. Heard what I said.  I viewed a trans-formed man.  A happier, freer guy. Not necessary, the outline. It was in-scribed upon my heart. What was said flowed from joy, peace. Confidence flowed. There is comfort in this relationship. The emotional safety shared allowed me to share my concerns freely. Without hesitancy.

      Never have I enjoyed authenticity as much as I do now.  It is something I value strongly. But now, it is richer. It is easier to express. Why? Because the walls in my life are being removed. Others are knowing the innocent and loved parts of who I am.

     The outcome tonight was beyond my dreams.

How About You?
What are your three gratitudes for today?

Wednesday, October 14

The Innkeeper Is Crushed.......... 10/14/15

      Super tired.

      Spending time in Sacramento, lots of time there, working on myself. I am still suffering from men-tal lag, emotional lag and physical wear-iness. But, you have not heard from me in awhile. That's

Tuesday, October 6

Feedback, Its Value 10/6/15

     Operating on three hours of sleep. Ugh!

      Holding my eyes open using tooth-picks. They are effective but uncom-fortable. I will share gratitudes for

Monday, October 5

Keeping It Real, Enjoying Tremendous Benefits......... 10/5/15

      I am in San Fran-cisco, sitting in the waiting room of Kaiser hospital on Geary Blvd.

     Exhausted, the past two weeks I have been.  My emotions have been on full tilt, taxed by

Sunday, October 4

Comfortable With Life and All of Its Circumstances, Not Hindered by Fear 10/4/15

       I'm dictating this post using my smart-phone. My laptop gave up its life.

     Life is fantastically good, getting better almost daily.  I spoke with someone tonight.  As I talked, I was

Saturday, October 3

Celebrating a More Fragile and Happier Life................. 10/3/15

       I am lucking out, right now. My laptop is broken. Again.  Dead all day, it was. For forty-five minutes, just now, I fiddled with the power cord, trying to get it to work, to get this post in, while it lay on the kitchen table. No luck. The computer refused my efforts at

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.