Gratitudes of Another Kind 8/29/17

    It is dismaying.

   The destruction and lives lost in Houston, Texas.  I am with you, I am alarmed and sad-dened with this part of the country devas-ted by Hurricane Harvey.  The Federal Emergency Management Agency says it will be

Happiness Is An Inside Job, Part II 2/18/14

      Where to begin?  Many stories to tell.  Adventures, physi-cal exertion, personal growth, along with romance thrown in, for good measure.

       I'm beat. Bushed. Wiped out.

       The past two days have been hectic. On top of that, I'm speaking Saturday at the monthly fellowship for the local district of Al-Anon Family Groups.  I'm squirreling away parcels of time, preparing for that occasion, also.

       There are other pressures I'm wrestling with, as well.  And such a life is the case for most of us.

        We are often overwhelmed with all the responsibilities doled out to us.  It helps to take life fifteen minutes at a time.  This is being present.

        We'll know more serenity.  It comes with living by recovery principles.  At times we need to HALT.

 "Fear makes true that which one is      afraid of."   Viktor Frankl. 

        The good thing is, we can still be happy, delighted with life, when pressured.  Joy isn't externally related.  It is not based upon the job we have, being in a relationship, the type of car we drive or how we are doing financially.

        Happiness is an inside job.  It is attitudinal. our pre-sent, persistent pressuring predica-ments can be at a pitch that without recovery, can push us towards perseveration.

        Our happiness is not because our circumstances change.  We change.

      This is the difference between surviving and thriving----enjoying life deeply with joy, knowing how to have a peace that transcends our difficulties.

       We are responsi-ble for our feelings.  We want to checkout how we can nurture ourselves when stressed.

       One outlet is ex-ercise. Going for a walk, cycling, work-ing out with weights, or doing yoga.  When we do, stress is released from our bodies.

       Keeping ourselves active, there will be no need for a windbreaker or vest on cool days.

        Despite the pressures faced, we can still be happy and thrive.  And no, we won't be crazy.

      Helping others overcome trauma is traumatic for me. This is where acceptance with recovery is the balm for healing the difficulties we experience.  It is not passivity, taking what comes our way. 

      Awareness is clear-headedness, seeing our circum-stances, accurately.  Then, we decide our options---what can be done to overcome our challenges.

      Staying in the solution regard-ing our fears, troubles, and anxieties, transforms our daily quota of betes noires. They become approachable, less frightening.  Our character grows, our life becomes manageable, our joy increases. 

      We move from the ghetto of child-like responses to won-drous valleys of emotional maturity. 

 My Gratitudes for Tuesday:

1.  Perseverance, the fruit of physical exer-cise and maintaining spiritual disciplines. It helps us to draw strength from our relationship with God.

       We are happier, we celebrate life, even when the storms of urban living shower us with ongoing pressure.

     Growth requires going beyond our comfort zones. It is realizing our limitations and appropriating a Power Greater Than Ourselves. Doing this, we are seizing life.

     Life is richer when we move beyond our limited understanding.  Inspirational literature helps us mature and become wiser. We gain a wider perspective.
2.  For writing. It provides mental clarity. This is especially true when we do an inventory of our lives.

      We empty what percolates within. Scribing is self-care, it is making time to get acquainted with our inner selves.
3.  Daily working on our recovery makes us grow.  We will be stronger than we were last week, more level-headed. We handle challenges more successfully than we did a few months ago.

      Working on our personal growth daily, life becomes more dynamic.

       Our days become more fulfilling with each passing month, day, hour, each minute. Recovery helps us move from being reactive to having greater executive functioning.  When we work on ourselves, "each character flaw [is] replaced by a new and good quality."  (One Day at a Time, p. 280)

A Thankful Perspective: The Antidote to Despair: We Become Better, Not Bitter .........11/9/12

Knowing joy during dark times is like the sun penetrating through a rainstorm

Image: "Revealed" by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted photo, all rights reserved. 

        It's been raining the past two days.  Stress sneaks up and grabs me, if I'm not careful.  The nature of my work will take an emotional and spiritual toll, if I don't

Freedom from Other People's Judgments. An Overview of Codependency ..... ..................10/14/11

"I have been young, and now I am old; yet
 have  I not seen the righteous forsaken,
nor His seed begging bread."  Ps. 37:25

“When a person doesn’t have gratitude, something is
missing in his or her humanity.A person can almost
be defined by his or her attitude toward gratitude.”
        Elie Wiesel

        How are you?

I'll get to today's subject in just a minute, after today's gratitudes. But first...........
A Provision Perspective that Promotes Peace 

     In this weak economy many are anxious about financial security.  I realize
neither my income nor my job are the source of my provision:

Life is Our Spirtual Practice Part 2 ( However, breathing deeply might cause problems---see below.) ...................................................5/17/11

No, this is not a picture of me

    
     Good evening everyone,

How are things going for you?  Monday, was an opportunity to practice patience in my relationship  with others and myself. I felt like I was in a game show that tests your perseverance. I was in one of the least desired places in the world to be stuck in a box----no, not a mortuary, but the box of a building that houses the DMV I visited.  I've been resolving an issue since Friday.

       I spent six hours Friday, and one hour yesterday. I'm hoping everything will be solved, soon. My time at the DMV is my spiritual practice for now. (See this post, for more info.)  It was a Catch 22 situation, with a bit of torture, managerial rudeness, time pressure, frustration, impersonal technology and compassion, all rolled into one experience.

       I was deflated----emotionally----after my trips to this agency. What happens to people who don't speak English as their first language, cannot enunciate clearly, don't have access to the internet, don't have a cell phone and don't have time to spend eight hours to solve a problem regarding registration? 

      Even with all the resources needed to handle this problem, I  was unable to get anything solved. I was the last person in the building yesterday. The security guard stood next to me, seeing to it that I leave;  while a supervisor assisted me as I followed phone prompts about processing my problem on my cell phone.

      I left the building ("Now serving G453, now serving G453, at window number eight. Now serving....") with my problem in the same condition as last Friday.  All these problems were a result because I wasn't allowed to pay a fourteen dollar fee in person at this agency.  I had all the paperwork taken care of.However, I was instructed. I needed to do something that could only be done online or on the phone. At this point my situation deteriorated.

      The phone tree was worse than awful, worse than having a root canal done, worse than being in a psychiatric hospital, worse than being mugged at knife point by three teenage boys, all experiences of mine. (I worked in a sub-acute psychiatric hospital for nine years, as a psychiatric rehab therapist..)  While tackling the perplexing phone promptings, "please state the last five digits of your Vehicle Identifications number or say "I don't have it..."What was that you said? I didn't quite get that?" I took a deep breath. A mistake.

      My breathing strongly caused the call to return  to the beginning of the prompting menu. "If you want to hear your instructions in English, please press one, if in Spanish, please press 2...." At this point, I wanted my car to roll over the phone, and end my misery; but, I remembered it was my cell phone.  As I mentioned yesterday in gratitude number five, my faith was being exercised and I was provided an opportunity to practice patience.

      The pouring rain in the Bay Area, the past few days reflected the chill and bleakness I've encountered with the DMV. Monday, after my visit there, I melted, not in rage but in frustration. That's not a common occurrence. Yes, I was kind to the clerks and supervisors.  I knew it wasn't their fault. But I was spent, emotionally, just the same. 

      So, how was your day?

       Let me know your thoughts.

Emerging from Confusion:The value of walking a spiritural path. Gaining an encouraging perspective during trying times 5/11/11

      Hey, can you tell me what you are thankful for? What are things that make your heart sing with praise?  Hearing your encouraging words uplifts my spirit.  

     Going through a good time, addressing important priorities, getting them resolved, is heartening. Such has been the recent case for me.  There was a period, a week and a half, earlier, where I faced plenty of uncertainties

Parading the Elephant: Expressing What Bothers Us........ 5/7/11

What did the grape say when the elephant
 stepped on it?  (Answer below)

          It has been an emo-tionally miserable week.

         It was filled with frustration.  I didn't think it would be, but such has been the case.  There has been lots of exhaling, let-ting out stress, along with my breath.  Encountering tension is not fun.

         The following link is helpful if you want to know if, like me, you're relating with an emotional bully.  Click here.

     I have been an elephant walker, and driver, this week.  The elephant in the living room of a troubled relationship has been paraded by yours truly.  I took the elephant with me everywhere.  It was a tight fit in the car, but my floppy-eared visitor and I visited a dear friend or two.

     Thankfully, these companions helped in giving it a bath----remov-ing some of the crud off of this unwieldy pachyderm, by offering perspective.

      As a result, I see this Jumbo-sized situation for what it is.  It is an opportunity for exercising principles.  Along with living by them.  It is important doing so firmly----but graciously----regardless of the resis-tance encountered.  This is especially true when I'm with the emotional bully that is making life miserable.

       Naming the elephant, discussing my concerns, with my buddies hasn't made circumstances better.   But I feel better.   This critter is not nudging my serenity as much as it was. I find the following helpful dur- ing troubling times:

     Life doesn't always go smoothly or peacefully, even though I wish it would.  In the past when something bother-ed me, I’d say nothing rather than face an argument.  It seemed better to be upset than risk upsetting someone else. The results were usually disastrous.  I would become irritable and unreasonable. I'd let resentment fester. 

    Today, I suspect adversity has value I hadn't recognized.  When I face adversity and deal with my problems or express my feelings, things have a chance to improve. [If I don’t mention my concerns there is no chance of it improving.] 

    Even if they don’t, I release the pressure I  feel.  I’m new at this. I don’t do it very gracefully yet.  Sometimes it’s scary a my words are not exactly welcomed. Nevertheless, I feel better when I finally begin living life on life’s terms. 

    Looking back, I see how much I’ve grown.  I wouldn’t have chosen the crises in my life.  But since [applying heal-thy principles], I’ve learned every problem can help me change for the better.  It can deepen my faith, adding to my self-esteem.

    The Chinese word for crisis is written with two charact-ers. The first stands for danger, the second for opportunity.  I'll look for the good hidden within everything I encounter.

‘There is no such thing as a problem without a gift             for you in its hands.’      Courage to Change, p. 139

'll be happy when my elephant becomes this size
Don't laugh, I've seen it happen with other elephants

 in my life!

How About You? 

How are you at expressing what troubles you?  

  Wishing each of you a terrific day, and look forward to your response.

The answer to the question above: the grape did not say anything---it gave a little wine. 

Antidote to Stress: Not Being in HALT 4/1/11

      During a crazy schedule, making time to nurture ourselves strongly adds to our well-being.  Slowing the rpms of our schedule from a screaming 7,000 rpms to 1,000 soothes our psyche.

      We'll be happier and calmer, we'll last

Hope For Dark Times............ 3/29/11

Experiencing a gracious living God is like feeling the
 sun's warmth streaming through the clouds of difficulties

         Good morning everyone, 

It's easy getting overwhelmed with the pressures we face.  It's second nature, relying on our mind, believing it will solve our problems.  It doesn't.  The lynch pin is

Getting Through the Day (Staying intact & refreshed, while under pressure) .......... ...................3/26/11

    The following spiritual disciplines help us get through the day, especially those days with challenges and stress.

1.  Meditation.

    This exercise slows us down.  It helps us get away from the frenetic white noise of a busy life.  Meditation stills our mind.  It allows us to get perspective about the events transpiring in our day, the past week or month.

      Seeking God's will in the midst of all that confronts us, is what we attempt.  Praying for God's grace to carry out His will, not ours, our goal. This is Step 11 in recovery.  Spirituality is humbling, is healing, is rare.

     Meditating is connecting with a transcendent God.  Prayer is talking to Him.  Meditation is when we stop and listen to Him.  We were given one mouth and two ears because we were meant to use them in that proportion.  When we speak we only say what we know.  When we listen, we may learn something we didn't know before.  Listening requires humility.   When we open the ears of our heart we find direction.

"The mind of man plans his ways but the Lord directs his steps."  Proverbs 16:9