Wednesday, August 31

There Will Be Improvements Added to this Place. I Can't Wait


Update: The following is a rewrite of yesterday's post. For technical reasons this post was erased. I'll try to recreate some of what I posted. I'm exhausted. My brain is tired, so I'll post my gratitudes for today, tomorrow. Let me hear from you. If you write, I'll respond. 


    In the meantime, I'll keep the light on for you and appreciate your prayers

**************************************
        Good evening, all!

My, this innkeeper is quite happy. You don't know how much I enjoy returning to this cozy place and finding

Tuesday, August 30

Spoke At a New Place


      Hello everyone, good evening.

I'm missing my Malaysian friends. I hope you are doing alright. I haven't seen you in a few days.

      I thank my German, English and Spanish friends who've been dropping by daily this past month. Readers from India and Brazil have been regularly returning to this inn, too. Okay, my international guests, when may I hear from you? I'd love it if you shared your gratitudes in your native language.

A Tiring But Good Day

“Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude.Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness.
Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts.” David O. McKay
My Gratitudes for Tuesday:

1. I enjoyed what I wrote Sunday: "Still Learning." It's therapeutic expressing what's going on in my life.
2. Today, I started a meeting to help myself and others use our time in a way that's more congruent with the vision we have for our lives. I made it to the meeting on time, even though I faced daunting, bumper-to-bumper traffic on the freeway, for a stretch of five miles
3. Shortly after this meeting, I visited with friends in Berkeley. I was weary hearing others share what ails them. Where's the growth in that? When I spoke up,

Sunday, August 28

Still Learning 8/28/11


Innkeeper's update: Four more than four years, this was the number one post.  I'd love hearing your response. What helps you overcome fear?
**********************

A New Truth Learned This Month: 
         Earlier this month,  I agonized over a business meeting that loomed before me.  I was wrenched with fear.  I was to lay out information regarding my  finances during our time together. 

         I would be on display.  Economically naked, before the two meeting with me. Their criticism I feared.  They would not be supportive, I dreaded.  Not cognitively, but viscerally, I was agitated.  

         I called others, receiving support. Prayers for courage I cried to God.  Doing this while floating upon a sea of despair.  I hoped from Him a lifesaver of insight tossed my way.  While worrying, I knew I would be fine. I've written outlines as a professional since my early twenties.

        But still, I fretted, worried. Memory in my body recalled being brought before others, subjected to correction and derision. 

        When the three of us met, they were impressed with what I presented. I figured that would happen. This fact I knew even while gripped at the gut level with apprehension while working on my presentation.

         At issue was the hurricane of emotions that violently circled within the innkeeper.  A semi-dormant beast, the creation of having a perfectionistic, critical father raised its head. This creature returned me, emotionally, to a nine year old boy.

       I'm grateful for steps taken during the days leading up to the business meeting. They allowed me to subdue the beast terrifying me.  He won't bother for at least a month.  I appreciate the respite. 
   
 Progress not perfection, is better than no progress.  This is true when we rid ourselves from un-welcomed dragons of fear.  The ones who dwell within the closets of our soul. I've learned new truths about personal growth as I strug-gled with my feelings this month. 

       My outward self was not gen-uine.  I appeared calm, belying the terror within.  During the wrestling match between my pre-sent and past selves, I did what I could.  Not one day at a time, but fifteen minutes at a time.

       I stayed present. 

       I nourished my present, healthier self.  This part of me, a result of recovery work, overcame the siren calls of a scarring, traumatic past.  Past wounds that usually woo the weaker parts of me were subdued.  I used baby steps.  Normally, scabbed memories awaken fears that lurk within my soul.

        But this time, staying in the solution was my focus.  Doing what I could to overcome anxieties.  I got support.  I rested.  Breathed.  Nurtured myself spiritually.  Was gentle towards myself.  Recognized how much I am loved by many.  I reminded myself of whatever was lovely, excellent, praiseworthy, noble and true. 

       Before this month, I've believed recovery was placing principles above weaknesses in my personality.  Now, I know personal growth requires more.  It involves placing principles and concrete actions above my fears, too.

       Regarding those who met with me: they were supportive.  They cared. They were open and enthusiastic about my presentation. They shared their experience strength and hope. Helpful insight was given. Outstanding questions they asked, clarifying what I want to do. Their help is moving me forward, professionally.  

       Their affirming response was the opposite of anticipated fears.

How About You? 
1. What dragons are you facing, currently?
2. How do you slay the dragons that live within you?
3. Is there anything you do that makes it easier to overcome them? 
4. Who are members of your supportive network?

Friday, August 26

Thinking About of Each of You


   Welcome to each of you,

Thank you, for dropping by. Let me know your reaction to my posts. Doing so meets my need for communication and fellowship.

      Greetings to those from England who've been regularly dropping by for the past month and a half. Good to see those of you from Germany. Visitors from Pakistan, Brazil and Spain, glad to have you as guests to this inn. We have new visitors from Nepal, denizens from Russia, Singapore and Greece.

       Now, if I could just have some of you share your gratitudes in your native language, we'd truly experience international gratitude! Who will be the first? Come on, let's have a gratitude Olympics in this Attitude of Gratitude Inn.

Thursday, August 25

Taking Care of Self: Squirreling Away for the Upcoming Emotional Storm & Healing from Relational Alzheimer's Disease .......................8/25/11

Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby
God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message.
(Malcolm Muggeridge)
     Good evening everyone,

How was your day? I needed a second day of taking it easy. I've been tackling intense issues. I had a one and half hour meeting with my banker yesterday. I didn't realize how much I would be drained today, because of it, but I am.

     This evening, I took in the Giants game. They lost, again, to a team that's been doing poorly this season. Remember, these are the World Champion San Francisco Giants who are losing.  I was happy I could watch the game, regardless of the outcome. My loyalty isn't based upon their performance.

    Normally, I'd meet with friends on this night, but I was worn out. Physically, I'm experiencing the consequences of placing principles above my personality and my emotions. That's okay: 
"Courage faces fear and thereby masters it." 
And,
"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt."
William Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure," Act 1, scene 4
I'm transcending beyond my fears and doubts; as a result, I'm seeing tremendous

Tuesday, August 23

Making Memories, A Surprise, Time for Me and Another Surprise ..............8/23/11


“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and 
that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”
      G.K. Chesterton
 
   Good evening everyone.

Finally, a chance to post. I worked in three different cities today, in addition to spending time with my oldest son. Whew! Thanks for dropping by. I'm heating up some water for your tea. Please have a seat. How are you? I trust everything is going well with you. If not, you're at the right place. This late evening, I'm still glowing from enjoying an amazing,

I've Had an Adventure With This Blog

“Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of
anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly
appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it.”
Ralph Marston
       This blog is pretty much back to normal. I messed with it on Monday, you should have seen it. I learned my lesson.  I fixed it, I'm relieved, but tired; tomorrow,

Saturday, August 20

Your Feedback

Good earlier evening,

I'm heading for bed earlier tonight. My brain is fried. The only thing missing is a bit of Tabasco sauce. Didn't sleep well last night. Throughout the night, I awoke, checking my alarm; I was making sure I got to this morning's business meeting on time.

      It's wonderful seeing many guests dropping by this inn of gratitude.  Welcome to those of you from Spain, England, Malaysia, Indonesia, the Philippines, Brazil, Germany, Turkey, Egypt and Canada.  Of course, it's nice seeing many drop by from the USA; you are the largest crowd of guests. Let me know how the innkeeper can make your stay here more worthwhile. Which brings me to......

Please let me know.......

      I've asked earlier and ask again: what are you finding most helpful in this inn? What would you like me to talk about in my posts? I'm open to suggestions.  Consider it my way of asking you how you like your coffee. So, fire away,

Friday, August 19

The Two Most Important Words ...8/19/11

     I'm pooped. I had a good, but crazy-busy week.

I need to attend a business meeting tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. I'm off to bed. Ya ay! How was your week? What did you like best about it? Please let me know.

The Most Important Words

“The six most important words: I admit I made a mistake. The five most important words: You did a good job. The four most important words: What is YOUR opinion? The three most important words: If you please. The two most important words: Thank You. The one most important word: We. The least important word: "I.” Author Unknown

The Problem Lies Beneath Our Nose: Awareness, the First Step Towards Progress .........................8/19/11

Stinky stuff
   Good evening everyone,

How you be?  Yesterday was a humdinger of a day, but good.  Life has been rich and full this week.  I thank God for how He works in my life.  Today, I slept in.  I met with a friend of thirty-five years, in the afternoon.

      Right now, I'm hanging out at an international food court, studying; my routine needed variety.  I will concentrate on studying in the next few days.

       This week, I've witnessed a person in denial.  And nope, that doesn't mean a big river in Egypt.  Being unaware of our character issues is understandable.  Denial isn't that.  For more on this distinction, you can read here.  It's active opposition to issues that require change on our part, either our thinking or behavior, perhaps even both.

Thursday, August 18

A Grateful Innkeeper

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”
G.K. Chesterton

   Good evening,

My Gratitudes for this Day:

1. I gathered with others today, thrice. Once in Corte Madera, also San Lorenzo and Alameda. My brain is on overload. I'll be sleeping shortly. I can't wait.
2. We're getting many Silent Readers. Thanks for resting here in the inn. In the past month my readership has more than tripled. I enjoy meeting the needs of others. I aim to please. You please this innkeeper when you share your gratitudes.

Wednesday, August 17

God Gave You a Gift of 86,400 Seconds Today. Have You Used One to Say "Thank You?"

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the
highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”
John F. Kennedy
      Hi everybody, how are you?

Wow, gosh. This has been a phenomenal week. Today, I was wiped out in a good wiped out way. Yesterday's presentation took a lot out of me. I zombied through the day,  Gladly, I accepted my physical exhaustion. Much was accomplished Tuesday. My life won't be the same, all for the good.

    It's really something when I see that I can endure the slings and arrows of adversity with aplomb. It's not because of my strength, that I can. God gives me the grace. He does for me what I can't do for myself.

Tuesday, August 16

Courage Faces Fear & Thereby Masters It ............................... 8/16/11


       At 5:30 p.m., I met with two others for an hour and a half. They helped me plan what to do in order to improve my business, While eating dinner, we went over the six point outline I presented. There were at least nine sub-points for each major point. The time flew.

       The two who helped me were encouraging, yet practical. Jeepers. I ended up with an Action Plan that has nine steps I need to take to move closer to the vision I have for my business. We figured it'll take me about 2 months to get

Catching Up With Our International Visitors


   Good evening everyone,

How did your day go? Dear Silent Readers, you who drop by without posting. I'd love hearing from you. I'd enjoy hearing from the many guests who live in other countries.

My Malaysian friends: Boleh saya mendengar daripada anda? Saya amat berterima kasih kerana anda singgah setiap hari. Terima kasih! Bagaimana saya boleh menyokong anda? Apa yang anda dapati paling membantu kira-kira inn ini? Anda boleh meneruskan dan menulis dalam bahasa anda. Saya fikir saya akan mampu untuk mentafsirkan apa-apa komen yang anda boleh berkongsi dengan kami. Terima kasih sekali lagi, untuk menjatuhkan oleh setiap hari! Rahmat kepada anda, penyelia restoran.

Greetings to the guests from England.  Thank you, for dropping by. What have you found most helpful about this inn?  A quote by Shakespeare inspired me this day. "Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win

Monday, August 15

Practicising Principles and Boundaries in All Our Affairs .......... 8/15/11

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say “thank you?”"
William Arthur Ward
     Good evening everyone, even if my baseball team lost horrifically in the final inning, tonight. Welcome to today's guests.

      I'm meeting with members of my business team, at 5:30 p.m., tomorrow, in San Rafael. I have a mixture of excitement and dread. I'm leaving it in God's hands.

Boundaries Helps Our Sanity

     I'm encountering friends who are under extreme stress. The economy, job uncertainty, unexpected bills, crises, downturns in relationships, all contribute to their woes.  Some observations:

I. It Is Good Being Wary 

A. This is where we got the word "beware." Being careful when around distressed people is wise.
 "A prudent man sees a danger and        withdraws, but the simple continue    on and suffer for it."    Jewish proverb.
       Recently, while with a friend, I excused myself from a table at a restaurant, asked for the check and left. Before doing so, I calmly let the person know that his behavior was emotional abuse and I wouldn't stand for it. He apologized a week later, without prompting.

      We get what we tolerate. We train people how to treat us. If we feel like a doormat we need to get off the floor. 

Saturday, August 13

Happy Five Month Anniversary Everyone ...8/13/11


   Hello everyone,

Today is a special; it's the five month anniversary of the opening of this inn. This place is a baby.  Thank you, each and every one of you, who drop by. Many of you've made this part of your routine, while online, I'm glad you do.

     Please share what you've found most helpful about the inn. Let me know what subjects you hope I'll cover.  I'm all for improving this inn.

Friday, August 12

      I hope you had an enjoyable day.                                                                       If not, you are at the right place.  Having an Attitude of Gratitude  helps.  It gives perspective that moves us forward. For more about that, click here.  It's best seeing what can be done and bask in the blessings we enjoy, than living with regret and fear. 

       Fear is a form of self-sabotage.  Here are thoughts on this subject.  May they help us face our fears and master them. 
Part of my growth has involved re-versing old ways of thinking. It had been my habit to avoid painful feel-ings and situations. It was better to play it safe.  To stay away from risk.  But life involves one risk after another, and some pain is unavoidable.  Life is learning to accept what is.
Instead of running away, I'm learning to look at the source of my distress.  As a result, I find that pain passes much more quickly, and what I gain is freedom from fear. I can learn to take an honest look at myself and my situ-ation. I can reach out to a suppor-tive friend, God, prayer, and meet with others who care to help me to find the courage to deal with fear, pain, and risk. 
When I was avoiding taking risks, fear was always with me, just over my shoulder.  Now I go through it and come out the other side, often unscath-ed. I no longer have to keep a constant watch for dangers. Instead, I can oc-cupy myself with living.
Wonderful things can happen today because I welcome the thrill of participating in my own life.
****** 
'Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.  Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.'     Helen Keller
"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to at-tempt." William Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure", Act 1 scene 4
        These last words by Will were spoken in 1604.  They remain true today.  Progress occurs when principles are placed above not only our personality but also above our fears. 

         Sometimes this requires taking life not one day at a time.  

         It may be better stepping out in life fifteen minutes at a time, placing one foot in front of the other.  We take baby steps.  We seek God's will, relying upon His power.  It is easier, facing difficul-ties in small increments. Next, we B-R-E-A-T-H-E!  Then we do the same with the next fifteen minutes.  And the next, and the next after that, and so on.
     
     It helps having others we can call upon for sup-port.  Serenity is ours because we no longer make decisions or take action alone. We are bonded with others who have our back. 

          On the airplane of life, our supportive com-munity rouses us forward.  We step out in faith, taking the plunge. We do the next right thing.  No matter how fearful. 

          These friends remind us we have our Higher Power along with us, each bit of the way. The parachute of principles holding us afloat, as we soar towards our goals.

        May your day be bold and fearless.  I'm here for you, 

Courage & Support Allows Us to Face Fear & Soar Towards Our Goals 8/12/11

      I hope you had an enjoyable day.                                                                     If not, you are at the right place.  Having an Attitude of Gratitude  helps.  It gives perspective that moves us forward. For more about that, click here.  It's best seeing what can be done and bask in the blessings we enjoy, than living with regret and fear. 

       Fear is a form of self-sabotage.  Here are thoughts on this subject.  May they help us face our fears and master them. 
Part of my growth has involved re-versing old ways of thinking. It had been my habit to avoid painful feel-ings and situations. It was better to play it safe.  To stay away from risk.  But life involves one risk after another, and some pain is unavoidable.  Life is learning to accept what is.
Instead of running away, I'm learning to look at the source of my distress.  As a result, I find that pain passes much more quickly, and what I gain is freedom from fear. I can learn to take an honest look at myself and my situation. I can reach out to a suppor-tive friend, God, prayer, and meet with others who care to help me to find the courage to deal with fear, pain, and risk. 
When I was avoiding taking risks, fear was always with me, just over my shoulder.  Now I go through it and come out the other side, often unscath-ed. I no longer have to keep a constant watch for dangers. Instead, I can oc-cupy myself with living.
Wonderful things can happen today because I welcome the thrill of participating in my own life.
****** 
'Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.  Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.'     Helen Keller
"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to at-tempt." William Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure", Act 1 scene 4
        These last words by Will were spoken in 1604.  They remain true today.  Progress occurs when principles are placed above not only our personality but also above our fears. 

         Sometimes this requires taking life not one day at a time.  

         It may be better stepping out in life fifteen minutes at a time, placing one foot in front of the other.  We take baby steps.  We seek God's will, relying upon His power.  It is easier, facing difficul-ties in small increments. Next, we B-R-E-A-T-H-E!  Then we do the same with the next fifteen minutes.  And the next, and the next after that, and so on.


          It helps having others we can call upon for support.  Serenity is ours because we no longer make decisions or take action alone. We are bond-ed with others who have our back. 

          On the airplane of life, our supportive com-munity rouses us forward.  We step out in faith, taking the plunge. We do the next right thing.  No matter how fearful. 

          These friends remind us we have our Higher Power along with us, each bit of the way. The parachute of principles holding us afloat, as we soar towards our goals.

        May your day be bold and fearless.  I'm here for you, 

Joyful Even When Maligned .......8/12/11

"God’s love is measureless. It is more: it is boundless. It has
 no bounds because it is not a thing but a facet of the essen-
tial nature of God. His love is something He is, and because
He is infinite that love can enfold the whole created world in
itself and have room for ten thousand times ten thousand
 worlds beside."  A.W.Tozer   (Photographer's caption.)
     Hello, my friends. Thanks for dropping by.  I can't think of a better way of returning to this inn than seeing others sign the registry to this place.  You do so when you share three gratitudes you have for this lovely day!
My Gratitudes for Thursday:
1. Today,  I prepared for talks I'll give this month.
     One of them is tomorrow.  This is something I like doing.  I like the research involved.
      I appreciate mixing it up with the audience.  Public speaking forces me to be very clear about a topic, which is a good habit to have.

Wednesday, August 10

"Enjoying Moments of Spontaneity Instead of Living by Fearful Control" Also, I Was Wrong, Yet I Was Still Loved By My Son ..8/10/11

Patience is priceless. Patience can only grow through experiences that test it. So we should treasure the times when our patience
is tried, and not impatiently seek to be rescued prematurely. Make the most of it. Realize that God has a purpose and a plan
that will work out for our best. If we choose the path of patience and trust, we will not regret it (Photographer's caption.)
    Well, here it is, it's a bit after midnight.
I  have written for a few days but, I haven't been gone. You may have noticed there's been tinkering with blog, over the past several days, with the sidebar on the right-----it wasn't elves, it was me. The posts are being listed by category.

Saturday, August 6

Big Improvements for the Innkeeper and I'm Looking Forward to Tomorrow ..(8-6-11)

    How are you, this weekend?

I rested; seeing the San Francisco Giants play, I managed doing. They are going through a rough patch, but they are still in first place, in their division.  They will always be my team. My body spoke loudly today that I needed to put on the brakes.  I did. Click here, for more information on being in Halt a place you don't want to be.

Treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding
you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again. (Og Mandino)
My gratitudes for Saturday: 

1. I'm moving to, you guessed it, the island town of Alameda. I see most of my clients there. My life, commute and social life will get easier, because of this move. I'm thankful for the convenience it will be, living there. I'm seeing the results that happen when we "work" our Vision. Part of mine was moving to this town. It's now a reality.
2. I love the town. It reminds me of the town I lived in as a kid---Niles, Fremont, but a bit bigger.

Friday, August 5

Armida, Part III, The Power of the Human Will: Holding Off Death's Throes, One More Day ..8/5/11

       Good evening everyone, this post I dedicate to dear Armida, who died Monday, four days ago.
*****************************************************
       From the vantage point where I sit, this was a dramatic week. Sunday was special.  A phone call by Armida's son, Paul, made a last minute request that I sing to her, for a second time. I knew this meant rearranging my day and driving an extra 100 miles, in order to make this to happen.  I am glad I did. The time was urgent. The next day, she exhaled her last breath. Her passing, I rue.

      I'm grateful for the last moments spent with her. You see, Armida was one of the several friends

Thursday, August 4

A Night That Had the Son ..................................8/4/12

     Good evening everyone,

I'm just in from spending time with a son. We went out for dinner, watching a Giants game at a restaurant loaded with flat screen TVs. They lost.  My son and I didn't.  We won: connecting and celebrating life with another is always a win..

The Innkeeper Sees Progress

Monet's Garden circa 1900
   Hello everyone, how are you?

I'm posting my gratitudes before the day has another name.

My gratitudes for Wednesday:

1. I'm moving forward with details that will make my life easier and more enjoyable. No, I'm not rigging the California lottery, for my benefit.

Tuesday, August 2

A Busy, But Auspicious, Meeting-My-Needs Day .......8/2/11


    Hello everyone,

I met with a client this afternoon, our time was productive.  Earlier in the week, I asked if we could meet at a new place, she said okay, with reservations. It ended up she likes the new place better than where we once  met. I thanked her, for her flexibility.

        Taking care of self is still an area where I'm growing. (For more on this subject click here, and here, also.) It lets me know that I must be a Safe Person. 1 (See footnote below.) As a child, I was culturally conditioned to always think of the needs others and ignore mine. It feels great seeing important areas in my life being fulfilled. More about that in a moment.

Monday, August 1

A Grateful Innkeeper


Update: 8/2/11 Armida passed away the thirteen hours after I played the guitar and sang to her. She entered into eternal rest  Monday, at 12:55 p.m.  I'm thankful I was able to be with her and her family, Sunday.  I will miss her; but, she lives on, within the memory of all those who were fortunate to know her.  She no longer suffers from the vicious disease of cancer.
********************************************************

     Sunday night I performed for two hours, without stop, playing the guitar and singing in Armida's bedroom. Usually, when I perform, my sets don't last longer than 45 minutes, then I take a break.

    Armida is heavily sedated with morphine and unconscious. I'll write more about my experience Sunday, when I'm not tired, which I am, at this moment.

My gratitudes for today:

1. I'm thankful for the many who drop by the inn, each day. I look forward to getting to know you. I'm grateful for the community we share.
2. Visitors from Indonesia and Argentina, dropped by today. Welcome. I hope to see you again. I'm thankful for the growing readership taking place, here.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.

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