Today Is A Big Day 3/13/21

      Today is special. 

      It is the 10th anniversary when this place opened.  Thank you for popping in, joining the innkeeper as we cele-brate this milestone.  So many things have happened during this time. 

      I'm older.  Hopefully wiser.  Tend-ing this place stretches me.  

      I've grown in expressing my

Enjoying Life: Responding, Not Reacting to Life or Emotional Vampires......... ...................3/10/20

   Saturday, someone screamed.  At me.  He used obscenities.

   That's never happened, be-fore, ever.  He judged in the harshest ways possible.

   My response: joy, inspired and happy.  No, craziness has no part in my life.   

Opportunities for Growth When Challeged ............. 2/23/20

     Yes, I've been away far too long.  My apologies.  Life is busier than ever, all for the good.

    I have snuck in here, from time-to-time, editing "Signs of Being Toxic." 

Calmness in the Eye of the Storm, Revisited.......... 10/25/14

          Hi.  I am beat, working long, in-tense hours and spending time catching the World Series----baseball.  All four games played I have taken in.   An important appointment tomor-row awaits me.  I need rest.  So, I am not

Relating With Difficult Others.... 9/24/14

      A guest to this inn once said:

"Try doing having acceptance when your almost 8-year-old makes weekly mass an exercise in humiliation!"

      I imagine it must, at times, be frustrating,

Staying the Course, Even When Pushed By the Strong Winds of Many Demands ......... ...................9/16/14

     "Morning by morning, new mercies I see, great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me."

      I added three new clients to my practice, having sessions with them today. This was on top of the clients I already see.  I also booked four new clients to see within the week.

      First sessions are hardest. Today's clients were

Not Taking the Short Stick of Life. I Deserve Better..... 8/13-14

 Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable.                               Denis Waitley

      I give up.  A circumstance worse than being the twentieth person in line at a checkout stand in a supermarket---with each person before me having fifty items---has no appeal.  Reading the National Enquire of disappointment while waiting for life to improve,  no longer interests me.   I do not like feeling so low I could go outside and play handball against the curb.  I have reached the frazzled end of the rope of my patience.

     Recently, I was knocked back, by the bullets of reality. Facing the firing squad of truth terminated several hopes and dreams.  Now, I am moving forward, unencumbered by the anchor of codependency.  Tolerating unneeded frustration is a no no.  Codependency is surrendering our values and opinions because of fear towards

Eliminating Judgment, Focusing on Growing Our Character ........ ...................5/14/14

"It is hard to practice compassion when we're struggling with our authenticity or when our own worthi-ness is off-balance."                       Brene Brown

Life Is Great
     Met with friends tonight.  We experienced a transition.  One person guided the group for the first time and did well.

       I enjoyed the naturalness of the meeting.  It is easy, getting angry.  Equanimity is the fruit enjoyed when we do the hard work of:
1. Placing principles above the vulnerable and diseased parts of our personality: passivity, depression, anxiety, anger. Codependency is when we surrender our opinions and values because we fear the anger or rejection of another.
2. Accepting the good with the bad. This requires restraining ourselves from living by black and white thinking.  It is easy to be quick at inter-preting events and others.
      There's a problem when we do.  We are being controlling and we are judging. We also are not relating, intimacy is not enjoyed.

      For nearly three years I lived with someone who was hyper-controlling. He told me what I was going to say before I opened my mouth.  At least it seemed that way.

      How sad.

    Tonight,  I was with others who were transparent and, authentic. Everyone was open about where they were growing or struggling. That was encouraging.

     This is what relating is all about.  It gives us hope for the future of mankind.

       Life has a way of shaking out.  Truth prevails when we exercise discernment.  Each week, our emotions gets stronger and healthier. Same is true about our character.

         With recovery, we can get healed from harm experienced as a child or young adult.  Adhering to healthy principles allows us not to surrender what we hold dear.  It is critical having our voice and expressing it. 

 Gratitudes: 
1.  Today, time was spent on research, preparing for upcoming sessions.  Day's like today I love,  I am an eternal student.
2.  This weekend I received lovely photos from a loved one.  I enjoy connecting with others.
       The pictures made my week, month and  the first half of this year.
3.  Visitors from around the world, especially from Ireland, the UK, India, Russia, Moldova, Sweden, Spain and Germany.  Thank you, for dropping by.  Welcome!  I'd love hearing from you.
4.  This weekend, I sang for the first time in years. A cappella. (My guitar has a broken string and I didn't have a piano handy.)  Two songs. Wow. I used to be a professional musician. A person who heard me sing didn't get sick, so that's a good thing.  :->
5.  I had my best night of sleep last night. I feel better when rested.
How About You? 
What are three things that make your heart sing with gratitude?

     I'm exhausted; it's been hot the past few days. I'm calling it a night. I'll see you tomorrow.

Happiness Is An Inside Job, Part II 2/18/14

      Where to begin?  Many stories to tell.  Adventures, physi-cal exertion, personal growth, along with romance thrown in, for good measure.

       I'm beat. Bushed. Wiped out.

       The past two days have been hectic. On top of that, I'm speaking Saturday at the monthly fellowship for the local district of Al-Anon Family Groups.  I'm squirreling away parcels of time, preparing for that occasion, also.

       There are other pressures I'm wrestling with, as well.  And such a life is the case for most of us.

        We are often overwhelmed with all the responsibilities doled out to us.  It helps to take life fifteen minutes at a time.  This is being present.

        We'll know more serenity.  It comes with living by recovery principles.  At times we need to HALT.

 "Fear makes true that which one is      afraid of."   Viktor Frankl. 

        The good thing is, we can still be happy, delighted with life, when pressured.  Joy isn't externally related.  It is not based upon the job we have, being in a relationship, the type of car we drive or how we are doing financially.

        Happiness is an inside job.  It is attitudinal. our pre-sent, persistent pressuring predica-ments can be at a pitch that without recovery, can push us towards perseveration.

        Our happiness is not because our circumstances change.  We change.

      This is the difference between surviving and thriving----enjoying life deeply with joy, knowing how to have a peace that transcends our difficulties.

       We are responsi-ble for our feelings.  We want to checkout how we can nurture ourselves when stressed.

       One outlet is ex-ercise. Going for a walk, cycling, work-ing out with weights, or doing yoga.  When we do, stress is released from our bodies.

       Keeping ourselves active, there will be no need for a windbreaker or vest on cool days.

        Despite the pressures faced, we can still be happy and thrive.  And no, we won't be crazy.

      Helping others overcome trauma is traumatic for me. This is where acceptance with recovery is the balm for healing the difficulties we experience.  It is not passivity, taking what comes our way. 

      Awareness is clear-headedness, seeing our circum-stances, accurately.  Then, we decide our options---what can be done to overcome our challenges.

      Staying in the solution regard-ing our fears, troubles, and anxieties, transforms our daily quota of betes noires. They become approachable, less frightening.  Our character grows, our life becomes manageable, our joy increases. 

      We move from the ghetto of child-like responses to won-drous valleys of emotional maturity. 

 My Gratitudes for Tuesday:

1.  Perseverance, the fruit of physical exer-cise and maintaining spiritual disciplines. It helps us to draw strength from our relationship with God.

       We are happier, we celebrate life, even when the storms of urban living shower us with ongoing pressure.

     Growth requires going beyond our comfort zones. It is realizing our limitations and appropriating a Power Greater Than Ourselves. Doing this, we are seizing life.

     Life is richer when we move beyond our limited understanding.  Inspirational literature helps us mature and become wiser. We gain a wider perspective.
2.  For writing. It provides mental clarity. This is especially true when we do an inventory of our lives.

      We empty what percolates within. Scribing is self-care, it is making time to get acquainted with our inner selves.
3.  Daily working on our recovery makes us grow.  We will be stronger than we were last week, more level-headed. We handle challenges more successfully than we did a few months ago.

      Working on our personal growth daily, life becomes more dynamic.

       Our days become more fulfilling with each passing month, day, hour, each minute. Recovery helps us move from being reactive to having greater executive functioning.  When we work on ourselves, "each character flaw [is] replaced by a new and good quality."  (One Day at a Time, p. 280)

This Week's Buzzword: Patience. Enjoying a Great Big Life. Also, The Weekly Roundup: Highs and Lows ...................2/8/14

      Patience. This week had its drama, requiring the exercise of this silent and underused virtue.  Monday and Tuesday were demanding, physically and emotionally, I was spent by 6:00 p.m.

      Friday extruded me emotionally to places where I have never been before.  Really, I've been there, but in the past my reactions were

Not Being Had: Moving Beyond History, Abuse and Disappointment 4/25/13

The sun of recovery is breaking through
 areas that were recently darkened

     So much is happening.  Wow.  My business is growing, I'm enjoying time with family, work is fulfilling---seeing wonderful results with those I serve----and new friends are being added to my private world.  Other than that, there's

The Sticky Gum of Resentment........ 4/11/13

The sun setting on San Francisco
 Peninsula, viewed from Alameda Island

      My body has been thrown out of wack----I'm sleeping irregular-ly.  The good news: I rode sixteen miles today.  It should help me bed down sooner and sleep soundly. We'll see.

          On the other hand, I sleep like a baby: I wake up every three hours and cry.  (Just joking, folks, for those who always take me seriously.)

         With another, I circumnavigated part of Alameda Island on two wheels in the afternoon.  We traveled 10.5 miles.  The glorious weather made for a lovely time of cycling.  Our conversation was better: intense, honest, supportive, and authentic.

         The guy that rode with me today provided perspective re-garding a vexing issue that, since early March, has stuck with me.  This subject involves an annoying piece of gum attached to the bottom of the shoe of my consciousness.  Its sticky sound constantly reminds me of its presence as I walk on the linoleum of life.

          My cycling companion and I had dinner at Jim's Cafe in Alame-da.  We covered the bugaboo of resentment; our time was pro-ductive and insightful. We looked at satisfying remedies that allow us to have peace of mind.

         I'm progressing with my attitude towards the problem that has troubled me since last month. It's not something I want to do, but I will tackle it eventually. I will call the person who created it.

      I'm growing in my will-ingness to talk with this individual who jolted me last month by re-opening an old emotional scar that I hadn't thought about in a long while.  It looks like it's time to use the butter knife of forgiveness to scrape off negative feelings that gummed up the sole of my thinking. 

***********

         After dinner, I scooted over to Grand Ave., connecting with friends on the island.  Someone shared her story of growing up with an alcohol-ic, heroin-addicted mother, who gave birth to her when six-teen.  The speaker was transparent and honest and vulnerable and positive----her talk was a heartfelt message of encouragement.

       Her progress, using the principles and the fellowship of Al-Anon Family Groups, helps her have peace and clarity during stressful moments----something she didn't know as a child.  She mentioned perspectives that allow her to overcome dark clouds that previously obscured her happiness.
     

        Her comments were a great reminder. She mentioned how she realizes she can't control her husband.  But she's learned she can control how she chooses to respond to him.

       Her newfound recovery-based sanity provides her with clarity and ease; she has discov-ered a source of tranquility in areas that once irritated her.  I'm happy for her and glad I heard her herald truths I need to heed----at all times.

My Gratitude for Today: 
1.  I rested. Even though it was a restless rest, I semi-rested.  That's the progress, not perfection, of a vital area affecting my health.  Halting relieves my muddled mind.  When I don't get enough sleep, I can't think straight.  Isn't that also true for you?
2.  I spent time reading today, one of my favorite things.  I love discovering new truths and the growing awareness it provides.

I Did Not Receive the Light (I was De-Lighted, & Delighted In Standing My Ground). Also, Disappointment, Using Must Haves and Can't Stands 3/23/13

       Are you enjoying your weekend?  An unusual experience was had by the innkeeper today.  A trip to San Francisco, observing people practicing their faith was the occasion.  A person I know invited me.

       Emotionally drained, I am.  At the event, six people approached me ---ten times--- encouraging me to light up, and I'm not talking about a cigar.  Each time, quietly and with a warm smile, I declined. I can say my "no" as gently as my yes.

       First to entreat me was the head honcho, although she was a woman. Maybe I should call her the head honcha.  A power emanated from this Japanese woman as she approached me.  This faith is Japanese based.

       Confidently, she asked me, if I wanted to

Banana Pancakes: An Opportunity to Transcend Unhealthy Legacies

      Good afternoon, everyone.

A happy new week to each of you.  I'm happy to announce this inn is
improving. We have another person on staff. He has contributed so

Boundaries: Needed for Sanity, Ease and Serenity. Also, Where the Innkeeper Has Been .........11/29/12

Image: "Cumbria: Over Rydal Lake,"
by Tim Blessed.Copyrighted photograph.  

     Hello everyone,

Have you missed me?  The innkeeper has been away the past three days.  The dust bunnies behind the books in the inn's library have grown, the dishes in the kitchen have piled up.  The good news is that I'm back.

     Work has kept me busy.  Seeing eight additional clients this week (with three more next week), prepping for sessions and business calls has made my schedule

The Fruit of Character Growth: Greater Serenity and Emotional Safety

Thinking of you who live in colder climes

    Good evening everyone,

Mine was, so was my day.  I had an eventful Sunday. I visited a local church for the first time.  It was good experience.  I

The Biggest Day Arrives Tomorrow. Also, Emotional Vampires & The Healing Power of Forgiveness ...11/21/12

      Thank you for dropping by this inn of encouragement and praise.  What thanks have you?   Of all the days of the year, tomorrow will be

A Thankful Perspective: The Antidote to Despair: We Become Better, Not Bitter .........11/9/12

Knowing joy during dark times is like the sun penetrating through a rainstorm

Image: "Revealed" by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted photo, all rights reserved. 

        It's been raining the past two days.  Stress sneaks up and grabs me, if I'm not careful.  The nature of my work will take an emotional and spiritual toll, if I don't

Complaining Only Makes Our Problems Larger and More Disturbing ..........9/20/12

     Hi there, everyone,

How was your Wednesday? I running a bit behind. Usually I get my entries before the midnight witching hour.  Not so, today.

      Tuesday, I handled the

Getting Things Done, Feeling Good About It, Seeing Results .............................5/15/12

"People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they
 don't know when to quit.  Most men succeed because they are determined to."
George E. Allen

    How are you?

My Gratitudes for Tuesday:
1. I completed a major project today. I'm thankful for