Boundaries: Needed for Sanity, Ease and Serenity. Also, Where the Innkeeper Has Been .........11/29/12

Image: "Cumbria: Over Rydal Lake,"
by Tim Blessed.Copyrighted photograph.  

     Hello everyone,

Have you missed me?  The innkeeper has been away the past three days.  The dust bunnies behind the books in the inn's library have grown, the dishes in the kitchen have piled up.  The good news is that I'm back.

     Work has kept me busy.  Seeing eight additional clients this week (with three more next week), prepping for sessions and business calls has made my schedule
crazy.  Wow.  All this activity is the result of a talk I gave a week ago, last Saturday.

     I'm rubbing my stomach and patting my head at the same time: seeing clients new and old, while making calls, arranging sessions with others wanting my services.  The increased caseload requires balancing work with my need for rest and time for investing in my welfare.

The Value of Boundaries:
 Preventing Burnout and Resentment

       This morning a client wanted me helping him find a place to live.  That's his responsibility.  I declined. Instead, I instructed him how he could take care of his urgent need.

       Tonight, after arranging an appointment with a new client, I tried getting off the phone.  "Bob" continued talking, bringing up one new subject after another.  I sensed his loneliness.  However, I gently placed a bookmark in our conversation,  to be opened when we met in person.

       After taking care of others today, I needed balance and rest to an intense day that depleted me.  I am the only person on earth who can make my emotional, mental and physical welfare my number one priority.  I did.

      Boundaries are not for others to adhere to.  They are for us to abide by.  Both, in the morning and evening, I succeeded in maintaining my values.  Because of boundaries, I enjoy not only sanity, but serenity and the ease needed while pressed by work and other stresses.

      Aaah.

      It is wonderful being in touch with my needs and feelings.  Thank God for personal growth.  Ya ay!

      The last speech I gave has opened doors.  It looks like I may work for several organizations, doing counseling for their clientele.  I'm also speaking at the Alameda Free Library, soon.  It will be a community event sponsored by the City of Alameda.  It looks like the topic will either be dealing with stress or creating a better today.  What would you readers suggest?   It's likely that my talk will be videotaped.

      Would you like to hear and watch me in action?  I have a fourteen minute clip of the talk I gave on November 17th.  Let me know if you want me to post it here.

My Gratitudes for Thursday. 
1. I'm thankful for a clear, trained, established understanding of my limits. When someone this evening wanted to still take from me, I said no. No is a complete sentence.

Taking Care of Me, Big Time
        I rode my bike.  I love it when I'm in my body, connecting with nature.  Easily, if I'm not careful, I could stay in my head. A terrible idea. Our mind is a dangerous place for us to travel alone.
        While riding in the Harbor Bay portion of Alameda, see above, I was thrilled having only the frame of my bike and two wheels between me and nature. Cycling provides connection with this beautiful earth.  My senses are awakened in ways that simply cannot happen, when driving a car.
        I feel even a greater connection to the earth than when I run.  And I have been running for more than thirty years.  I'm not distracted by my breathing or heart rate, I travel farther distances and get a greater scope of the land. I easily, and joyfully can ride my bike for more than two hours. Not so, while running, unless I'm preparing for a marathon---something I've done four times.
3. Tomorrow, my intern and I will go over projects. I'll appreciate the increased clarity our time will provide.
4.  I thank God for abundance, prosperity, sanity, serenity and knowing my must haves and can't stands.
5.  I studied for three hours today on co-dependency---it was terrific. I love making time, investing in me.
6. I received positive feedback from several people today.  It is nice being appreciated and valued.
7. Someone who has a past history of abuse tried intimidating me.  It didn't work.  I don't allow others to define who I am or determine my moods.
8.  Eight appointments with new clients this week. Three more next week.

A Dramatic Moment
    Yesterday, for the first time,  I used an office in San Leandro, a town not far from Alameda. It's a new location for meeting clients. Because I was there, a client of mine showed up before I started a session. She brought a coworker with her. She asked if I had time to help her friend.  Of course.

     The one-and-a-half hours spent with this new client was intense.  I was grateful for the nine years I spent working as psychiatric rehab therapist in a sub-acute, psychiatric mental health center.  I may write about it tomorrow, or when the dust settles.

     Suffice it to say, the woman was thisclose to being put in a local locked psychiatric facility, if we hadn't met.  Several times she asked if she could grip my sleeve, trying to draw from the strength and calmness I had.

     After we were done---and our time included prayer, I believe spirituality is a key component for our mental health---she was at ease, relieved. She was almost an new person.  I meeting with her every Monday, from now on.  Please, would you mind praying for "Barbara"?  She's suffered severe abuse of the worst kind.  Really. I'm serious.
10. I love the work I do, I'm happy I serve others in a fulfilling way

 May I ask you to please share your three gratitudes for Friday? Thanks!