Lessons Learned After Relating with a Negative, Critical Person................... 2/27/21

      A project I finished yester-day. 

     I did tasks I don't care for: it involved facts, figures, and sum-maries. Not my typical work.  Seven hours

Friends vs. Acquaintances 2/4/14

This is Fremont, California, where I lived as a child.

       I'm thankful for friends.  In today's culture, the word "friend" is used frequently.  In most cases those listed as such are acquaintances, really.  I prefer in-the-flesh friends to cyber ones.  A digital smile from an internet friend doesn't compare to the warmth conveyed by a friend sitting next to me. 

             A friend is someone who is available, when we're

Character Metamorphosis: Squeezing Beyond My Comfort Level ........11/26/112

Image: "Bluebells" by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted
 photo, used by permission. All rights reserved. 

 "On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow." 

      Good Evening,

I'm checking in.  Today, I worked.  Normally, it's my day off. It's fascinating watching my personality contort as it's developing strengths in areas once vulnerable.

       The past few days I've been squeezing through the slit I've gnawed through my characterological cocoon.  Since this summer, it's been a season of metamorphosis

Handling Conflict with Grace and Some Questions for YOU 6/12/11

      Hey, let me know what you think of this video link from psychologist John Townsend. He's an author I respect. To see it, click here.

Questions I have for you: 

1. What do you do, to resolve conflict?

Suffering Loss, Detaching With Love, Winning the Grand Prix of Life ............6/9/11 Alexander Part IV

    Hello everyone,

I'll talk about winning the Grand Prix in just a minute, after these comments and my gratitudes.  First, I want to process my feelings.

     This was not a good night.

Expressing Feelings of Loss

A Rare Occurrence for the Innkeeper

       Regarding words, a stickler I can be. I did not greet you with a "good evening" tonight, my usual intro. It's not; Alexander the Grey(t) died tonight.

       For those who don't know, he was a cat I dearly loved.  I have been tending to this Russian Blue with hospice care for six months. For more info, please read this post, this here, or click the blue link in the previous paragraph.

       A pall envelopes me as I write.  I'm at his house.  In the living room, he lies lifeless. I already miss him.
       I loved his quietly persistent and curmudgeon personality.  The latter was a facade.  Despite his serious-looking mug, he was a junkie for

Not Allowing Others to Determine Our Moods or Define Who We Are (Getting Healthier by Being Internally Referented.) ..... ..................6/1/11

         Good late evening, everyone.
Today's topic in just a minute----it follows the gratitudes listed below. Today was good. I met with a friend. Afterwards, I had hours alone to study and write. Ahh!  Having time alone is wonderful; I've been alone but never lonely. We are lonely when we cease to be at peace with ourselves.

       I'm improving in my dealings with

Calmness in the Eye of an Emotional Storm, II ......... 5/19/11

I'm thankful for life giving principles that allow me to stand firm, regardless of the pressures surging around me.

    Good morning everyone,

I came across this article, this morning. There's hope for me, I'm happy to say. I love languages and speak and read in a few of them; I always held there was value in learning them. My favorite is Classical Greek, an extremely precise language. I hope you enjoy the following link:  Click here.   Research is keeping me busy this morning, I like it.  Maybe a reader can tell me what the writer in the above link means by "learning a language as a discreet subject."

       Most of you know the routine in this inn. I ask readers to share their gratitudes. If you'd share three, I'd be  a happy innkeeper. But, if you are new to this place, I'll settle for one. So, that's the deal for today.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

       I've been having the unhappy circumstance of relating with a person who is frantic and under tremendous stress. A lot of my training, as a child and adolescent, conditioned me to want to placate others; 

Good Friends: An Oasis in the Desert of Society 5/5/11

Gratitude is the fairest blossom
which springs from the soul.
Henry Ward Beecher
Image: "Single Rose" by Tim Blessed. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

 Welcome to the inn.  Thanks for dropping by.  May I offer you tea? 
My Gratitudes for Tonight: 
1.  I don't like abusive relationships.  No, that's not a gratitude, but in a way it is. I'm glad that I don't accept unacceptable behavior.  As a result, I enjoy serenity and emotional safety, as well as fantastic intimacy and compassion in my relationships with friends and family.  I'm thankful for the nurturing I receive from them.
2. I'm thankful for relationships that demonstrate:
         a. Mutual Caring
         b. Mutual Honesty
         c. Mutual Respect
      For more about this click here.  It's my default mode, if I'm not careful, to give---plenty---in my relationships, without considering my needs. Those days are over.
      I was groomed to be this way, as a child.  It was a great recipe for depression and disappointment. Now, if someone is unable to care also for me, I bless them and send them on their way. They are not God's gift for me.
      It's never my responsibility to give more than I humanly can and to let others take advantage of me. I'm worth having relationships that are mutual---not one sided.
      We get what we tolerate.  I'm glad that by diligently using boundaries, through applying nonviolent communication and having loving friends, I'm able to detach from others who would use me, causing harm emotionally, mentally or verbally.
      For more information about the nature of Destructive Relationships please read this.  For another perspective, here's a source regarding symptoms of an Emotional Bully.  Although it refers to a woman, these characteristics are certainly true for a guy, too.
3. I celebrate the beauty in each person, including you.  Thank you, for dropping by.  You make this place better with your presence.  You also have my prayers.  Really.
4. I'm thankful for Alexander, a Russian Blue cat. He and I are buddies; I'm happy he's still around. You might want to check out my post about our relationship here.
5. I enjoy in the wonderful universes created, when relating with others, often the result of my work.
      Anais Nin tells us each couple creates a new world that never existed until they met.  The complexity of friendship is as marvelous as a beautiful canyon or work of art.  To know the healing work of deep belly laughs, while with a friend, the comfort of a listening ear, and the support of a gracious, compassionate companion is to be wealthy indeed.
      I'm grateful for the support, joy and strength I derive from my friends.  My relationships humble me. My friends are incarnational ambassadors of God's love for me.

      Join me and let those dear to us know how much they mean to us. You'll be glad you did.
How About You? 
1.  How do you know when a relationship is out of balance?
2.  Would it be possible for you to describe one of your best friends?
3.  What do you look for in your relationships with others?
      I look forward to hearing your insights,