Thursday, May 5

Good Friends: An Oasis in the Desert of Society 5/5/11

Gratitude is the fairest blossom
which springs from the soul.

Henry Ward Beecher

Image: "Single Rose" by Tim Blessed. All rights reserved. Used by permission.
 Welcome to the inn.  Thanks for dropping by.  May I offer you tea? 
My Gratitudes for Tonight: 
1.  I don't like abusive relationships.  No, that's not a gratitude, but in a way it is. I'm glad that I don't accept unacceptable behavior.  As a result, I enjoy serenity and emotional safety, as well as fantastic intimacy and compassion in my relationships with friends and family.  I'm thankful for the nurturing I receive from them.
2. I'm thankful for relationships that demonstrate:
         a. Mutual Caring
         b. Mutual Honesty
         c. Mutual Respect
      For more about this click here.  It's my default mode, if I'm not careful, to give---plenty---in my relationships, without considering my needs. Those days are over.
      I was groomed to be this way, as a child.  It was a great recipe for depression and disappointment. Now, if someone is unable to care also for me, I bless them and send them on their way. They are not God's gift for me.
      It's never my responsibility to give more than I humanly can and to let others take advantage of me. I'm worth having relationships that are mutual---not one sided.
      We get what we tolerate.  I'm glad that by diligently using boundaries, through applying nonviolent communication and having loving friends, I'm able to detach from others who would use me, causing harm emotionally, mentally or verbally.
      For more information about the nature of Destructive Relationships please read this.  For another perspective, here's a source regarding symptoms of an Emotional Bully.  Although it refers to a woman, these characteristics are certainly true for a guy, too.
3. I celebrate the beauty in each person, including you.  Thank you, for dropping by.  You make this place better with your presence.  You also have my prayers.  Really.
4. I'm thankful for Alexander, a Russian Blue cat. He and I are buddies; I'm happy he's still around. You might want to check out my post about our relationship here.
5. I enjoy in the wonderful universes created, when relating with others, often the result of my work.
      Anais Nin tells us each couple creates a new world that never existed until they met.  The complexity of friendship is as marvelous as a beautiful canyon or work of art.  To know the healing work of deep belly laughs, while with a friend, the comfort of a listening ear, and the support of a gracious, compassionate companion is to be wealthy indeed.
      I'm grateful for the support, joy and strength I derive from my friends.  My relationships humble me. My friends are incarnational ambassadors of God's love for me.

      Join me and let those dear to us know how much they mean to us. You'll be glad you did.
How About You? 
1.  How do you know when a relationship is out of balance?
2.  Would it be possible for you to describe one of your best friends?
3.  What do you look for in your relationships with others?
      I look forward to hearing your insights,

4 comments:

Kelly said...

I am grateful my son is well behaved in a quizzical manner, with a debaters stance (God bless him, he takes after his mother).

I am grateful that, at this moment, I do not have to co-parent.

I am grateful that God created people who create music in which the lyrics say what I am feeling in a way I would have never fathomed.

Pablo said...

Kelly,

Good to see you back. Children are a blessing! Thanks for your gratitudes. It's good to count our blessings.

Eli Rush Kallison said...

" We get what we tolerate. I'm glad that with diligent practicing of healthy boundaries, rigorous study of principles of nonviolent communication and having loving, accepting friends, I'm able to turn my back on those who would harm me, emotionally, mentally or verbally. "

very true, I agree with a lot of your writing. Keep up the good work.

Pablo said...

Eli,

Great to hear from you! How are your studies going, or are you out of school? I'm enjoying your photos. Thanks for dropping by.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.

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