Gentleness Towards Self=Enjoying Life Fully................ 8/20/16

    I'm awake.

    It's 2:05 in the morning.  Why am I alert?  I ran eight miles this evening.  I am ener-gized by the exertion and in a good mood, too.

     I have not posted a list of gratitudes in a long while.  Here they are:

1.  For the growing patience I have towards myself.  I am already patient with me.  Re-covery reveals the value of

Relating With Difficult Others.... 9/24/14

      A guest to this inn once said:

"Try doing having acceptance when your almost 8-year-old makes weekly mass an exercise in humiliation!"

      I imagine it must, at times, be frustrating,

Saying What We Want, Not Being Controlling......... 8/17/14

       An in-depth conversation with someone dear, for five hours and fifteen min-utes.

        During this difficult conversation I exercised a patience I did not know I had.  Stating what I wanted, I did.

       Like  having a thousand biting ants crawling up my legs and remaining still was it to be calm and quiet, while I listened. I resisted blurting out the confused thoughts exploding within my head. Instead, I allowed time for her to digest what I said.

God Chooses the Character Defect He Wants Removed.............. 7/5/14

        Good evening.  I was thisclose to being impulsive.  Dangerously so.  No, I was not stand-ing at the edge of a precipice.  My life is so good I would never consider that.

          But, I lie.  I did stand on the edge of

Silencing Critical Dragons: Being Gentle Towards Self ..............................5/17/12

"If you use disappointments as sort of mid-semester exams, for learning, you will
 learn that every disappointment you overcome makes you stronger, and wiser."
And you will learn the value of taking care of yourself by being gentle and loving
towards yourself as you go through processing the difficult time, I might add. 

      Good evening,

Did you miss me? I was gone for

Life is Our Spirtual Practice Part 2 ( However, breathing deeply might cause problems---see below.) ...................................................5/17/11

No, this is not a picture of me

    
     Good evening everyone,

How are things going for you?  Monday, was an opportunity to practice patience in my relationship  with others and myself. I felt like I was in a game show that tests your perseverance. I was in one of the least desired places in the world to be stuck in a box----no, not a mortuary, but the box of a building that houses the DMV I visited.  I've been resolving an issue since Friday.

       I spent six hours Friday, and one hour yesterday. I'm hoping everything will be solved, soon. My time at the DMV is my spiritual practice for now. (See this post, for more info.)  It was a Catch 22 situation, with a bit of torture, managerial rudeness, time pressure, frustration, impersonal technology and compassion, all rolled into one experience.

       I was deflated----emotionally----after my trips to this agency. What happens to people who don't speak English as their first language, cannot enunciate clearly, don't have access to the internet, don't have a cell phone and don't have time to spend eight hours to solve a problem regarding registration? 

      Even with all the resources needed to handle this problem, I  was unable to get anything solved. I was the last person in the building yesterday. The security guard stood next to me, seeing to it that I leave;  while a supervisor assisted me as I followed phone prompts about processing my problem on my cell phone.

      I left the building ("Now serving G453, now serving G453, at window number eight. Now serving....") with my problem in the same condition as last Friday.  All these problems were a result because I wasn't allowed to pay a fourteen dollar fee in person at this agency.  I had all the paperwork taken care of.However, I was instructed. I needed to do something that could only be done online or on the phone. At this point my situation deteriorated.

      The phone tree was worse than awful, worse than having a root canal done, worse than being in a psychiatric hospital, worse than being mugged at knife point by three teenage boys, all experiences of mine. (I worked in a sub-acute psychiatric hospital for nine years, as a psychiatric rehab therapist..)  While tackling the perplexing phone promptings, "please state the last five digits of your Vehicle Identifications number or say "I don't have it..."What was that you said? I didn't quite get that?" I took a deep breath. A mistake.

      My breathing strongly caused the call to return  to the beginning of the prompting menu. "If you want to hear your instructions in English, please press one, if in Spanish, please press 2...." At this point, I wanted my car to roll over the phone, and end my misery; but, I remembered it was my cell phone.  As I mentioned yesterday in gratitude number five, my faith was being exercised and I was provided an opportunity to practice patience.

      The pouring rain in the Bay Area, the past few days reflected the chill and bleakness I've encountered with the DMV. Monday, after my visit there, I melted, not in rage but in frustration. That's not a common occurrence. Yes, I was kind to the clerks and supervisors.  I knew it wasn't their fault. But I was spent, emotionally, just the same. 

      So, how was your day?

       Let me know your thoughts.

A Tribute ................................................5/8/11

      I hope you enjoy these on this Mother's Day.  Keep posting your gratitudes!

                      Mother

Never a sigh for the cares that she bore for me,
Never a thought of the joys that flew by;
Her one regret that she couldn't do more for me,
Thoughtless and selfish, her Master was I.

Simple Pleasures & Lessons Learned from Alexander the Grey(t). One of my favorite posts ....................4/23/11

Where the San Francisco Giants Play

       Hey, thanks for dropping by.  I usually write before midnight, until a few minutes ago, it was Friday. It was a busy night. I wedged in

Perseverance: Essential for Success .............. 4/3/11

"In the confrontation between the stream and the 
rock, the stream always wins–not through strength
 but by perseverance.”      – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I thought I'd share the following edited quote with you. 

"If someone asked me for one character quality that is the corner-stone for success, I would say perseverance. 

"Being great athletes, parents, leaders or achieving anything else---weight loss, reducing clutter, getting our finances in order, is really about willingness to persist in the face of challenges. We use these opportunities as a means to exercise our commitment towards whatever goal we seek

"Expecting the road to success to be a  cake walk leads to disappointment. No one is immune to the obstacles that life presents. However, I hold the power to choose what I do with whatever challenge I face.

"So, how about you? Do you persist when times are tough?  Do you pause while assessing the obstacle? Do you view your situation positively, that what you face is an opportunity that can lead to growth and fulfillment? 

"This is where a positive attitude is critical. [Click here, for more about this.]

"We live in a society of instant gratification. Many of us treat our goals in the same manner. We may expect instant mastery, flawless performances. We may want overnight success.  The truth is, our character and potential are determined by how we deal with the obstacles we face.  It is in these moments that we can take it one step at a time, towards the fruition of our dreams."   Beth Allen

     And this:

When nothing seems to help, I look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it.  Yet at the hundred and first blow it may split in two. I know it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before.        Jacob Riis

*************************************************** 

How About You? 

1. What helps you to persevere, when you want to give up on a challenge, project, relationship, job or dream?  

2. What do you find as a source of strength, during difficult times? 

3. What quotes or principles spur you on, when you want to give up? 

I'd love hearing your thoughts and your response to this post. 

Hope For Dark Times............ 3/29/11

Experiencing a gracious living God is like feeling the
 sun's warmth streaming through the clouds of difficulties

         Good morning everyone, 

It's easy getting overwhelmed with the pressures we face.  It's second nature, relying on our mind, believing it will solve our problems.  It doesn't.  The lynch pin is

Persistence, Patience, Practice and Perseverance: Progress 3/21/11

The Angel Oak on Johns Island in So. Carolina.  The oldest oak tree east of Mississippi.  It is certainly one of the most beautiful. It's 1500 years old. It's 65 feet tall, over 6 stories. The crown covers 17,000 sq. feet. It's longest limb is 89 feet long. It's maintained by the city of Charleston. This tree grew from one acorn. Here's to our growth

 Patience With Our Progress

         Today, I'm leaving several quotes. May they help us maintain an Attitude of Gratitude. Availing ourselves to God on a daily basis, seeking  His will, helps our patience grow.  Immediate results are no longer our focus.

         I've discovered that life, like the growing oak tree referred to in the quote below---and pictured above---is a matter of many, mini successes.  Like stalactites, found hanging from cave tops, successes build-up over time.  Little victories demonstrate growth developing within.

        Progress doesn't look like much on any given day; growth is slow.  However, over time, it happens.  Continued victories are assured when we practice discipline in areas where we desire success.

"Success depends not merely in how well we do the things we enjoy, but in how consci-entiously we perform those duties that we don't."  

        John Maxwell, Developing the Leader                          Within You

Placing Principles Over Unhealthy Habits

         Exercising regu-larly, refraining from seductive junk food and rejecting ration-alizations that justify harmful behavior and saving our mon-ey may not be fun, for many.  Eating unhealthily is tempt-ing.  Many of us love indulging in greasy hamburgers, french fries, ice cream, pizza and potato chips.

         We know it's best not eating them, if we want better health and longevity.  It's better choosing health and vitality over the temporary pleasure of unhealthy appetites. That's why I exercise and ride my bike as much as I do.

           In the same way, placing principles above self-damaging habits promotes growth. Our character gets better, we experience the beginnings of thriving. Yes, we'll slip on occasion.  Developing and maintaining healthy pattern of living requires patience.

I need not judge the rate at which I change old habits or ways of thinking.  If  I'm uncomfortable with old behavior,  then on some level some level I am already mov-ing toward changing it.  Change will not be effective unless I am ready for it.   

I need only trust that, when the time comes to  move  forward, I will know it.    

               Courage to Change, p 221  

"Remind me each day that the race is not always to the swift; that there is more to life than increasing its speed. Let me look upward unto the towering oak and remember it grew great and strong because it grew slowly and well."            Oren Crane

Gentleness Helps
        Being gentle towards ourselves helps. When we engage in less than best habits, we simply forgive ourselves.  It doesn't help to kick ourselves:

"Condemning my imper-fections has never enhanced my appreci-ation of life nor has it allowed me to love my-self more."  Courage to Change, p. 19

Re-engaging healthy principles is preferred. (It's time to put those kicking boots away. For more on that, please click here.)  They allow us to become our better selves and move on.

      Have a great, gracious, patient-with-yourself, characterologically growing, grateful day,

How About You?

1. What helps you to be patient with your progress?  

      For me, in addition to what I wrote above, it helps me to remember that the voices that would want to condemn me are liars. Yep, liars. Also, it helps me to know that God, my Higher Power does not cheapen himself by using shame, guilt or judgment to motivate me. He uses love, balanced with non-condemning truth. 

2. Focusing on the positive, where is an area that you have seen progress with your life? 

      I continue to be amazed at the equanimity I have, even when in very stressful situations. It boggles my mind and is very comforting to my body---stress, without recovery can kill serenity, tranquility and my emotional safety. 

Another related post:

Perseverance click here.