Responding to An Emotional Meltdown, Nonviolent Communication Is Way Better......4/19/13

"Like an earring of fine gold is a wise man's reprove to a
listening ear. " Prov. 25:12. The challenge is learning how
 to respond, not react and how to be loving instead of
spiteful, when we are frustrated. 

    Thank you, to my Russian and German guests, you have been dropping by, a lot.  Those who hail from the land of Tolstoy have been twenty-five percent of the readership for this month.  Ten percent of the visitors to this inn have been those from the land of Goethe.  I'm glad you're finding encouragement here.  A tip of my cap also goes out to those of you who hail from the United States. As always, you are the largest number who pass through the doors of this inn.

     This morning, I encountered an angry man.  No fun.  Even with all my training and experience, it's still

Played an Intense Game of Verbal Tennis 1/23/12

Playing a Verbal Tennis Game 

With an Attorney

      A fascinating conversation with someone early Sunday was had by yours truly.  His face reddened and he raised his voice when I questioned him.  I tried mentioning something that made me uncomfortable on Friday night. He was there.

      His first volley in our dialog was intimidating.  Sarcasm, and vehement arguing was his next ploy.  But, I held my ground on the tennis court of our conversation.  Healthy principles and boundaries prevented me from slipping on the verbal playing court.  I made sure we stayed on topic, not swayed by the intensity of his response.

      When this fellow leaned into my space and raised his voice, I asked, "Are you getting agitated?  If so, we can talk another time."  I've learned it doesn't make sense to talk with someone when they're drunk.  I would be as foolish as them. Waiting for when we can talk coherently is preferred.  The same is true when confronted by a person who is emotionally intoxicated. 

      The question calmed him down.  His next move was recruiting someone else to join the fray.  That was fine.  It was fun; exercising adherence to my values and exercising my right as an adult to disagree. We also made progress.

       With the other person joining the fray, our conversation had me returning rallying shots from one player who was defensive and the intense questioning of the other, who was not, a doubles game with me not having a partner.  I had presence of mind, not reacting, but responding.  Being mindful during the verbal contest allowed me to be courteous while maintaining my integrity. 

      When he stated I was trying to make him do something, which was not my intention, I asked, "Can you tell me what I said that made you conclude that?" 

      He couldn't answer.  Exactly my point.  I never asked him to do anything. That was his assumption. 

      I told him, "I've learned to express my concerns and leave it at that. What a person chooses to do afterwards is their option." I'm not invested in how others respond.  (Courage to Change, p. 310)

     There is only one God and I am not Him.  I kept the focus on me, expressing my needs, trusting God for the results. 

How About You?
What are strategies do you use, when someone tries engaging you in an argument?

Expressing Our Voice: A Great Antidote for Depression or Frustration 4/18/11

My Gratitudes for Today:

1.  I wrote a letter to a friend I've known since I was twelve.  A disappointment needed processing. Expressing concerns in a caring manner is