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| Image: "Bluebells" by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted photo, used by permission. All rights reserved. |
Good Evening,
I'm checking in. Today, I worked. Normally, it's my day off. It's fascinating watching my personality contort as it's developing strengths in areas once vulnerable.
The past few days I've been squeezing through the slit I've gnawed through my characterological cocoon. Since this summer, it's been a season of metamorphosis
beyond my comfort level.
"What is the difference between a rut and a coffin?"
I asked this question at my most recent public talk. The answer: the rut has the two ends kicked out. We cannot become the person we hope to be by remaining the way we are. If we are not continually working on our personal issues we are already dead, spiritually. Life is like climbing a greased pole. When we stop working on ourselves, we slide backwards.
Marcus Aurelius put it more elegantly:
"What man should fear is not death. What man should fear is never beginning to live."I now have a new office to use in the town of San Leandro. Many of my clients are hailing from that town, the city where I lived from 0-10 years of age. I am also making arrangements for a new working address in the town where I live.
Today, between sessions, I returned calls from clients. I even stopped a recreational cycling jaunt around my hometown of Alameda, to receive a call. She inquired about getting help to deal with her angry, resentful son who's away at college.
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I know you don't know this---I'll let you in on a secret. My nature is introspective----not introverted. No, I'm by no means shy. I'm comfortable in my own skin.
I'm confident in who I am and what I offer, besides being at peace with myself. When with others, I easily carry a conversation. No problem, there. Introspective refers to the source of my strength. I get it from my time alone. I don't need others to make me feel good about myself or reassure me.
However, when necessary, I can be front and center, leading a crowd. According to the Myers Briggs test I'm 57% introspective, 43% extroverted. (I'm a INFJ, an idealist known as the Counselor.)
Why am I mentioning this tidbit? Because, the seventeen calls I made in the past two days has been tough. Even though for those I've talked with they wouldn't know it.
I love people, yes. But, it takes lots of energy, putting myself out there---again and again.
Here's something that those who don't know me personally may not know: with nearly every person I spoke with, without prompting they unloaded their lives over the phone. This happens in person, when with complete strangers, even on the train.
It occurred when I left my office tonight. I spoke with three college guys standing near my bicycle. Within minutes one of the guys told me his father was an alcoholic and what it was like living in his family. I didn't even know him. Wow.
Another bit about me: with every person I spoke with today, we ended our time with prayer, except for the college guys. Yep, we did. This includes those I chatted with on the telephone.
Yesterday and today, I've been following up with the thirty-seven people who indicated interest in my services. These people heard me give a talk ten days ago. I'm humbled that what I shared inspired them and motivated them to reach out to me.
My Gratitudes:
1. I appreciate the special times shared with many today. I like making my life count.
2. I'm thrilled I cycled. It was a therapeutic change from using my mind and relating with others. I was in my body, taking in the wonders of this season and the lovely community where I live.
3. I had a delightful conversation with my youngest son. He received news he was hired working at the theater where my oldest son once worked as manager. The legacy contines. This also means I can still see free movies!
4. I'm grateful for the discipline I'm exercising at work. Following up with clients has been rewarding.
5. I'm thankful for the new office I can use in San Leandro, as of today!
6. Today, someone tried telling me what my motives were. I stopped him in his tracks. I told him to stop doing that, while he was in the middle of doing it. He was stunned. I thankful for the presence of mind that did not allow him to be an emotional bully.
How About You?
What are areas in your life, where you are enjoying progress? Could it be overcoming depression, anger, resentment? Or might it be you are expressing your voice, kindly letting others know your boundaries?
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7 comments:
Interestnig that you mention the Myers Briggs test. We studied that during one of my grad classes. I've always wanted to take it. Perhaps I will so I can see where I stand on the introvert/extrovert scale.
Keith,
This exam definitely helps us grow in relating with others. We learn how to communicate with different personalities.
Myers Briggs also helps us understand ourselves. You might want to look at the link I listed in the post above.
I love your frequent visits. Thank you!
Dear Innkeeper,
Great post...enjoyed reading it, and can connect with much. My friend Niki did the Myers-Briggs for me a few years ago, so now I look forward to digging it up again to remember.
Today, I am grateful;
1. For modern technology that allows me to burn belated, and much needed video to DVD for a dear friend and mentor.
2. For an unexpected drive to the fall vineyard colors of the St. Helena countryside to deliver to a chef/client; a most productive and timely visit!
3. That my wife and I could host a long-time Polish lady-friend of hers/ours, and her son for lunch and an afternoon visit in the garden by the outdoor fireplace, as the day grew chilly. She is nobly battling cancer, but full of life, hope and GRATITUDE; yes, gratitude for the blessing that is each new day of her life.
Dear Carl,
I can help you retake the Meyers-Briggs test. You may have changed, since you took it last.
This Polish friend definitely has an Attitude of Gratitude! May God be with her as she travels the journey set before her. She has my prayers.
Thank you, Carl, for your gratitudes. You are an inspiration for other guests---I appreciate your songs of praise, your gratitudes.
Have a terrific Thursday!
Dear Innkeeper,
Thanks for your note below, and offer to take the test. That would be cool!
Today I am grateful;
1. I could have a new colleague along for a ride-along to the Sonoma, Yountville, Napa wine country, exposure to a diverse array of chef's of every temperment, (one sort or ran us out for lack of proper samples...) and a both productive and relaxing late-day, killer sushi and Korean BBQ lunch in a Japanese sushi restaurant...melting pot anyone?
2. For a "crash-and-burn 3+ hour nap once home after 6pm.
3. That our resident "gentle-giant" did the days mountain of accumulated dishes of one on-the-go mom and six men who are hungry and eating most of the time!
4. That I could cycle yesterday over 10 miles at and after dusk, and between storms, in pristine, rain-washed, bay-side breezes, and then break break and share quality time with a dear friend and mentor.
5. That I can return months of generosity and kindness with a brief but heartfelt recommendation.
6. That I've been invited to become an occasional guest-blogger at a prestigious, up-and-coming blogspot!
7. That our #4 son and industrious side-kick found, loaded and delivered a massive amount of cedar firewood to warm our modest winter.
8. That tomorrow is the end of the work week, and a respite from early-rising.
Keith,
If you are interested in taking the test, I can administer it and let you know the results.
I appreciate your visits. Thanks for dropping by!
Dear Carl,
I'll arrange for you to take the test. Get in touch with me. I can give you the test this week.
How does it feel, now, that you've been consistently sharing your gratitudes with the inn community? Has is created any changes within you?
Carl, I wish you a safe Wednesday. I've been swamped with work---until the late night hours. Sorry I did not respond earlier!
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