A Thankful Perspective: The Antidote to Despair: We Become Better, Not Bitter .........11/9/12

Knowing joy during dark times is like the sun penetrating through a rainstorm

Image: "Revealed" by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted photo, all rights reserved. 

        It's been raining the past two days.  Stress sneaks up and grabs me, if I'm not careful.  The nature of my work will take an emotional and spiritual toll, if I don't
exercise, or routinely spend time with God by investing in Quiet Time.  I'm glad I cycled for twenty miles before the storm appeared.  Exercise is an emotional life-saver and relief producer.

       Right now, there's a lull in the wet weather.  Soon, I'll head out on two wheels. I'll view dawn's fingers stretching over the East Bay hills, recently made luminescent by the wet weather.  That's a rare treat for a fellow who normally stays up late.

       Yes, it's early.  Then again, I was zonked out in bed by 10:00 p.m., an unusual occurrence.  How have you been?  Welcome to new guests to this inn from Mongolia, Israel, Sri Lanka, Bahrain and the recent regular respites at this inn from visitors from the Lowlands---The Netherlands.

        The other day I was with someone I mentor. The guy is likeable.  It's always best when it works out that way, though not guaranteed to happen. We discussed a topic mentioned here in this inn.

         In my entire life, I've never seen the subject we discussed mentioned elsewhere-----ever: external referenting.  I learned about this concept from Anne Wilson Schaef, in her book, depicted to the left.  It's an excellent tome.  I highly recommend it. You won't be the same.

         Did you know that our society uses emotional and societal coercion to force us to see things their way, training us to not even consider what we feel, think, or believe? This is usually done through schools, our church and our family.  It's a good idea to reconsider our ideals. Many of them aren't. 

         For more about external referenting you can read posts I've written about this critical subject in this link.

          While with this mentee I mentioned what I truly feel: I am the wealthiest man in the world. Yes, I do. Abundance is not in how much we have, but in how much we enjoy.

          I know a God and have friends who love me dearly---unconditionally.  I'm at peace with myself.  I love my life; I have fantastic sons, who have character that I wish I had, when their age. They are wonderful young men, who love God, are kind, considerate, polite, thoughtful and gifted. How could I not be proud of them?

          I'm happy. One of the best things that has ever happened to me is that I know a serenity and joy that transcends my circumstances.  I'm fully engaged in work that thrills me and is different each day, in a wonderful way.  These are forms of wealth too.

          Added to my riches is that I'm never lonely.   As I've written here many times, I've been alone, but have not been lonely, since I was fourteen years old.  I believe we are lonely when we are not at peace with ourselves.  I'm glad I know peace, at the heart level.

           Really.

            I'm excited about the future----I look forward to what my Higher Power will do for me.  Yes, I do my part.  But, I'm thankful for the strong connection I have with Him.  I'm rich here, too: I'm fortunate to have a living, spirituality, devoid of blandness.

            I look back at my past with joy.  Not for everything that's happened, heavens, no.  Who likes having lost $353,000.00 in one year?  Not me.  Who'd like being in court 27 times in three years, costing me $35,000?  Not me.

            In addition, I've known physical, mental and emotional abuse, lots of trauma and difficult times. But I am grateful for the healing I've received from those sad seasons.

            This is where prepositions are critical.  I'm not thankful for everything I've endured.  But, in everything, I've learned to give thanks.  Painful moments cause me to grow characterologically. Everything I've experienced has prepared me for this moment life.  Am I glad.

            I believe, and I don't ask you to agree, that every time our heart is broken---when we are strongly connected with God----our heart grows bigger.  The difficult times weathered created compassion for the struggles of others.  And for that, I am thankful.

            As a friend once told me, "Pablo, the difficulties you experience in life can either be a monument to your past pain, or by how you respond, they can reflect the healing and growth you've experienced in your life."

             I know it may feel better to be bitter.  The urge may be powerful to be petulant, when life doesn't go our way.  However, I know my friend was right:

"Acting like a victim is a choice, not a destiny."  Hope for Today, p. 189

"If you feel like a doormat, you need to get up off the floor."           

             Courage to Change, p. 361

         Thank you for listening.  I so appreciate your visits!

How About You? 
Have you learned to be happy in everything? If not, what do you think you might want to do, so this will become a reality for you?