Facing Unpleasantness 5/1/13

     Good morning,

I bedded early last night and now, here I am, welcoming the month of May, starting it with a challenge.  Today is the day.  It is here.  I am not looking forward to what will happen, even though it was an eventuality.

     Thanks for keeping me company, I appreciate your visits, today, especially.  A month-and-a-half ago, I was sucker punched---emotionally.  You can read more about it here and particularly this post.  At 12:00 noon, I'm facing

Looking at Life Thoroughly, Using the Three A's: The Healing Power of Acceptance ...................10/5/12

You can't undo anything you have already done. But you
 can face up to it.   You can tell the truth.  You can seek for-
giveness.  And let God do the rest.         Unknown

      We celebrate the sanity enjoy-ed when we see life realistically.
      Awareness.  It's a good start, but in-complete.  It's eighty-eight percent of the answer when dealing with prob-lems. There's no remedy without first noticing the problem.

      The ancient Greeks said, "If we aim at nothing, that is ex-actly what we get."  Being intentional about the areas where we want to grow is essential, to get the life we deserve and want. 

       Awareness helps us overcome life's challenges and disappoint-ments.  With it, we enjoy progress.  Our learning curve spikes.

       And life improves.

       Negative circum-stances lingering, for months----perhaps years---are overcome quickly, when using awareness, when our problems have our full attention.

       Awareness is taking ownership of our feelings, attitudes, and behavior.   We take responsibility for our pain, life's difficulties or emotional disappointments.  With honesty towards ourselves, we see our part regarding our plight.

      Vigilance, or awareness about the areas where we want to grow is necessary for a productive, fulfilling life.
   

       Recovery teaches us that no one can make us happy, sad, angry or have any other feel-ing without us giving them permission to do so.  Our feelings are our property, we take ownership of them.  This truth is essential for personal growth.

      Ownership of our emotions is taking our life back.  We move beyond moping over our history.  We deal with the experience of our past.

       We consider what steps we can take to remedy our past pain.  Recov-ery allows us to be present.

     Those who negatively affect us may not be able to change.  They may lack the perspective to see their troubling values or behav
-ior----areas hindering our relationship with them.  Nor may they have the tools to improve their lives.

     That's okay.

     Dealing with the experience of our past pain moves us from relying on those who have hurt us. They no longer need to change or apologize for us to be happy.  Our happiness is no longer conditional, dependent upon a turn around in the victimizer's behavior.
 

      We find ways of moving on.  We are no longer anchored by bitterness harbor-ed towards those who have harmed us.  We show gentleness to-wards ourselves.

      Kindness towards our fears is applied.  We meet the needs beneath them.  We go for a walk, talk with a friend, or curl up with a book we love.

     We associate with emotionally healthy individuals, we apply bound-aries towards those who see us. We nurture ourselves with more rest, better meals, by studying material that empowers and imspires.

    This is staying in the solution. Instead of cursing the darkness, we light a candle.

    We move beyond grief, painful scars and anger.  We replace the inadequate response of bitterness with better behavior, thinking, and forgiveness.  We learn that "Forgiveness is not forgetting, it is letting go of the hurt." When we do, our lives move forward unencoumbered by the weight of ancient emotions.

  "Acting like a victim is a choice, not a destiny."            Hope for Today, p. 189

"Freedom comes from taking responsibility; bondage comes from giving it away."                        Henry Cloud, Changes that Heal, p. 218

           Happiness and personal fulfillment is ours when we take own-ership for our feelings.  We become emotionally mature when we surrender playing the "Poor Me Victim" role.  Our life vastly improves as we replace inadequate behavior and dysfunctional thinking with new and better alternatives.  (One Day At A Time, p. 280)

Rooting Out the Problem
The Vital Need for Acceptance

      It's vital moving beyond awareness.  Awareness is inspecting our issues from a cognitive perspective.  Acceptance is next.  

       It is taking the perspective awareness provides and dealing with our issues from the emotional perspective, from the heart level.  This step is often overlooked.  We usually focus on solving the problem.  This is trimming the shrub of diffi-culties, not rooting them out.

       Using only our head, our challenges are guaranteed to return.

       Acceptance is being in touch with the issue at the visceral level.  It involves five steps.  It is:
1.  Seeing the vexing area.
2.  Feeling our re-sponse to it.
3.  Taking our feelings a step further. We grieve the loss involved.
4.  Letting the negative sentiments go---often through forgiveness.  Forgiveness is not forgetting, it is letting go of the hurt.
5.  Seeing what steps we need to take, looking at options that allow us to move beyond our pain.

       This involves connecting with others, getting their support.  It requires determining the fears beneath troubling issues.  Next, is seeing the needs beneath what agitates us and seeing how we can show kindness towards these needs.

       Acceptance is pausing while in the midst of a situational or emotional hurricane.

       Pausing gives us the space needed to choose better responses.  It calms our emotional self.  When we are aware of what is happening in the moment we have vertical integration, our mind comes into play.

      It comforts our agitated feelings.

      With vertical integration our mind goes online.  No longer frantic, we have greater emotional balance.  We also have a better sense of well-being, along with greater executive functioning.

      Acceptance helps remove ten percent of the problem.  Acceptance is not  resignation, "Oh, this is my lot in life.  I have to tolerate it."  It is taking action, not yielding to what's unacceptable.

      It is staying in the solution.

      Here's another critical point: many go straight from aware-ness to action. "I see the problem, and now, this is what I need to do....."  and we design an action plan.  Bad idea.

      When responding this way we are only involving our mind. The heart level plays a part, too.  Acceptance is rooting out the problem.

      When was the last time we made time, determining why we isolate, or inventoried a perturbing area?  Examining  the source for festering issues is critical for mental, emotional and physical health.

      Connecting at the gut level is crucial. If we want healing from pain.  Negative feelings are remedied when they are tended to, not ignored. 

      It is wise looking for the emotional payoff for our unhealthy behavior and limiting beliefs.

     When was the last time we did an inventory of our thinking, checking for false beliefs? When have we noted lingering childhood feelings that keep us caged with depression and powerlessness?  We want to challenge current behavior formed as a child, young adult.

     It's characterologically healing, to ask ourselves if our habitual feelings or thoughts are really true. It's important noting that as children, we may not have had the emotional and psychological wherewithal to process our pain.  As adults, it is more likely we do.

     For this to happen, we need psychological or emotional distance.  It helps us clearly see areas needing growth.  We get this from emotionally healthy friends who accept us.

    When we fail, they are compassionate.  They don't judge us our weaknesses. Instead, they help us discover behavior and thoughts that serve our need to thrive and celebrate life.

       We thrive when surrounded by friends who loves us. Yes, they challenge us, asking hard questions about our feelings, attitudes, and behavior. But they still love us. This is necessary to replace problemed areas in our lives with new and better behavior.

The Shoe Leather of Personal Growth

        Awareness of what triggers us is helpful.  Handling the emotions that surface---meeting the needs beneath them is even more critical.  Next, is applying the shoe leather of practical action.  An action plan is a bridge that takes us from our need to the steps necessary for us to have the life and peace of mind we want.

       Donning the shoes of practical principles and actions help us when we are out in the street of life. They assist us in handling life's demands.  We want to apply healthy alternatives.  We want to move away from unhelpful default modes.  We want to replace unsuccessful former ap-proaches with new and better behavior.

        Practical principles permit us to tread upon the gravelly aspects of life without being harmed.

       Action is the remaining two percent needed for handling painful areas. There you have it, the Three A's.  Awareness deals with the head, acceptance with the heart and action with the feet (what we do).  Applying healthier alternatives---staying in the solution---helps us move beyond what were once monuments of our past pain.

       We will enjoy better relationships, sanity, serenity, emotional health, and ease.

******  

     Recently, life offers more drama than I care for.

     I not sleeping much. No fun.  Am I complaining? I hope not. Inventorying the past few weeks, that's all. Awareness precedes improvements.

Being Kind Towards Myself

"We achieve inner health only through forgiveness - the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves."                         - Joshua Loth Liebman

     I lost a notebook containing important records.  Telephone numbers listed within are not recorded on my phone.  It included a lot of my writings.  I'm frustrated and annoyed with myself.

     Occasions like these allow the practice of patience.  It reminds me to be gentle towards myself.  This means forgiving me.

     I'm human. My recent behavior is like many, when stressed in different areas.  Life has been unmanageable.

     I'm thankful for several supporting me today.  Their insight and wisdom provide clarity I don't have right now.  I feel scattered.  Their humor lifts my spirit when, without recovery, I would be in the dark tunnel of despair.

     I provide myself with greater clarity by spending time with friends today.

     I don't take life's gifts for granted. This includes friends.  Life is tense without them.  Some of you, guests to this inn, are included in this group.

      I value prayer. Without it, I'd be lost.  I've discovered over the years that I'm as strong spiritually as I am in my prayer.

How About You? 
Which of the three A's are you using to deal with a rocky area in your life?

Being Gentle Towards Ourselves: The Antidote to Guilt .......................6/2/12

Be assured that just as an hour is only part of a day, so life on Earth is only part of eternity. Image: "Wetlands: Swan" by Tim Blessed. All rights reserved. Copyrighted photograph, used by permisssion. Caption by the artist.

      Good evening everyone,

The day was relaxing, just what the innkeeper needed. A nap in the evening was the tonic I needed.  Tightness in my quadriceps while riding my bike this morning prompted me to not do my long ride.  I'll shoot for tomorrow..... Progress Not Perfection.

**********************************

     In a comment to my previous post, "Defensive Hope, Revisited," Someone commented:

"Last year I decided to leave a marriage that took a lot of my energy but

Silencing Critical Dragons: Being Gentle Towards Self ..............................5/17/12

"If you use disappointments as sort of mid-semester exams, for learning, you will
 learn that every disappointment you overcome makes you stronger, and wiser."
And you will learn the value of taking care of yourself by being gentle and loving
towards yourself as you go through processing the difficult time, I might add. 

      Good evening,

Did you miss me? I was gone for

The Benefits of Being Gentle Towards Our Real Self, The Hunchback That Lives Within, Part II ......... ....................2/1/12

         “The six most important words:'I admit I made a mis-

take.' The five most important words: 'You did a good 

job.' The four most important words: 'What is YOUR 

opinion?'  The three most important words: 'If you

 please.'  The two most important words: 'Thank You.' 

The one most important word: 'We.' The least

 important word: 'I.' ”   Author Unknown     

 Image: The California coast: Point Reyes 

       I'll get to the benefits of showing compassion towards ourselves in a moment. I  identify with the idea of showing grace

Defensive Hope, Not a Good Deal, It Ensures Disappointment 7/8/11

     The following quote is from page 97, Safe People, by the authors, Drs. Cloud and Townsend, published by Zondervan

        Defensive hope is hope that [we think] protects us against grief and sadness.  

       Sometimes simply hoping a person will change keeps us from the pain that we need to face.  Hu-mans are incredible optimists. Especially when it comes to destructive relationships.  For some rea-son we think that a person who is hurtful, irrespon-sible or out of control, abusive, or dishonest is going to change.  All we have to do is love them correctly or more or enough. We think that if we just let them know about their mistakes or cry the blues, or get angry, they will change. 

     In short, we have hope. But it is a hope that disap-points. In this scenar-io we use hope to de-fend our-selves against facing the truth about someone we love. We don't want to go through the sadness of realizing that they probably aren't going to change. We don't want to accept the reality about who they are.  So, we hope, not wanting to face reality. 

        Usually this kind of hope did not start in our cur-rent relationship.  We usually have an old pattern of not facing grief and disappointments in many past relation-ships, dating back to childhood.  (Emphasis, mine.)

        Facing sadness is difficult.  It places the respon-sibility of change on us, instead of hoping that un-safe person is going to change.  We have to learn to not expect that he will change.  We have to make other friends.  We need to adapt to a nonfulfillng marriage.  

        We want the courage to set limits and conse-quences.  We will want to make many more tough choices that may change our relationships.

        Yes, hope is easier in the beginning.  In the end it is more difficult. Not facing reality is to stay stuck and to get more of the same in the future. Defensive hope is one of the biggest reasons that we allow de-struction to continue in life.

        Looking at reality helps us thrive.  When we do, we get emotion-ally healthier.

       Grieving proves to be a critical step for healing.   A big part of ac-ceptance: mourning, connecting at the sensory-motor level with what transpires within us.  We do this to overcome the effects of the trauma.

       Sanity involves letting go of fantasies.  We become realistic in how we see our circumstances.  We start experiencing the reality of our feelings. 

       Sanity requires moving beyond inadequate coping strategies.

       This required step allows us to transcend our circumstances, un-healthy relationships, or disturbing feelings.   Seeing life realisti-cally demonstrates self-compassion.  We become rooted in our inner selves.

        This defines being present, not triggered by the drama surrounding us.  We do not ignore what our intuitive self declares to our conscious self.  (See Footnote 1)

       Acceptance from a recovery perspective becomes the first step towards thinking differently.  We see the landscape of our life.  We determine what we can do to surmount our difficulties.  

       This form of acceptance empowers us.  We see our options.  We are not helpless, hopeless victims. 

      

       We move beyond being stuck.

       This approach is active.  It is the exact opposite of accep-tance with resignation, which is passivity. We move beyond painful emotions and the difficulties challenging us. Acceptance with recovery creates a better today.

"Came to believe in a power greater than ourselves that could restore us to sanity."                            Step Two

         We overcome false beliefs that life improves if we wait.  Not true.  This often happens with fantasies we have about unhealthy people who populate our social circle.  An idealistic perspective pre-vents us from seeing life or difficult others clearly, with discernment.

         We enjoy a realistic view of life when using Step Two in Recovery.

         This step heals.  As we move from victims to individuals making healthier choices, we take back control of our lives.  We are staying in the solution, moving forward. (See footnote. 2)
       

       The quoted passage by Cloud and Town-send is also true with our circumstances.  We may fantasize about them.  We may not want to face the truth.  Again, facing disappointment is important if our lives are to improve.

      After grieving, we let go.  We decide what to do next.  We consider our healthiest, most constructive options.  

        When we make peace with our reality, we'll have a greater Atti-tude of Gratitude to complement the increasing sanity and serenity we enjoy.

My Gratitudes:
1. My work is satisfying.

      I love what I do.  No two days are the same.  I contribute to the positive well-being of the world.  How could I not have an Attitude of Gratitude?

      I'm moved when others get more out of life because of my work.  I celebrate the purpose my life holds.

2. I grateful others appreciate my efforts.

      I get plenty of that.  It's wonderful that clients value the work I do.  Not that I need appreciation to have serenity. 1 (Footnote below)
3. I value each comment visitors write. It builds the community we enjoy here.
4. I'm thankful for each person who drops by.  It's nice having you here. It makes the work I do here as the innkeeper worthwhile.
How About You? 
1.  What losses have you been grieving regarding a relationship?
2.  What are some tough choices that you are making?
3.  In what ways have you been facing reality lately?

Footnotes

1. "If  I can learn to evaluate my own actions and behavior and value my own judgment, then the approval of others will be enjoyable, but no longer no longer essential to my serenity. Just for today, I will appreciate myself.  

    "I will not look to others s for approval; I will provide it for myself. I'll allow myself to recognize that I am doing the best I can. Today my best is good enough."
                Courage to Change, p. 9

2. "Focusing on ourselves doesn't mean we let other people walk all over us and pretend not to notice, or that whatever others do is acceptable.  Nor does it imply that we should stop caring about our loved ones.  Focusing on ourselves simply means that when we acknowledge the situation as it is, we look at our options instead of looking at the options available to other people.  

     "We consider what is within our power to change instead of expecting others to do the changing. As a result, problems have a better chance of getting solved, and we lead more manageable lives."   Courage to Change, p. 359

      Our life becomes somewhat more manageable ("have a better chance") because we do have some control over how we choose to live our lives.  I say "some" because our character defects get in our way, even here, as we attempt to transcend our errant ideals, past history, and pain. This points to the value of having Balcony People.

       For more information about them, you can read here. Have a great and grateful day!

Image: Cumbria: Dervent and Skiddaw  by Tim Blessed © all rights reserved, used by permission

DodgIng a Bullet, Being Gentle Towards Self and a Mini-Bio of the Innkeeper ..................5/11/11

    
        You might want to sit down and get comfortable, perhaps have a cup of coffee. This post is longer than normal. Go get your coffee, I can wait.

       Before a group of people at Summit Hospital in Oakland, CA, I spoke; amidst all the tasks I've been juggling lately, I forgot this commitment. Only because the  person driving me there, reached me on the phone earlier in the day, did I make it. When episodes like this happen, I realize my life has become unmanageable. Slowing down, is in order.

      Public speaking is something I routinely do, along with research. Tonight, I pulled out my latest notes on stuff I've been studying.

Making Amends & Being Gentle Towards Self ....... 4/21/11

     I hope this post is helpful.  It deals with an important subject----making amends. This is different and more effective than apologizing, which is merely

Acceptance and Difficult Others 4/17/11

In a previous post about acceptance, Thag said:

"Try doing having acceptance when your almost 8-year-old makes weekly mass an exercise in humiliation!"

     Dear Thag,
I imagine it must, at times, be frustrating, raising two young daugh-ters, especially if one is strong-willed.  I'm not sure your oldest is, but she might be.  Fortunately, none of mine were.  I lucked out.

     There was a time, when I fathered  three teenage sons. That season required grace and wisdom I often lacked.

     Fortunately, they've turned out to be three magnificent sons.  I'm thankful for God's help.  I did my best and left the results to Him.  I find the following quote from Marshall Rosenberg helpful, I hope you do, too:

'Everything is in a constant process of discovery and creating. Life is intent on finding what works, not what's right'       Margaret Wheatley

It may be best to not look for the "bad," "wrong," or devious motivation for our children [or anyone's,] behaviors.  Our children are only and always trying to meet their human needs.  I train myself to look beneath the behavior for the need they are trying to meet, addressing that. In this way I will get to the reason they are doing what they're doing, and I'll also be able to help them choose actions that better serve their needs.

'Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mis-takes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible.'  

 Virginia Satir states: Parents are sometimes afraid to empathize with their children out of fear that they will then have to 'give in' and give their child what they ask for.  However, empathy doesn't mean you agree to do anything your child asks. It simply means 'I care about what's going on with you.'

As we know, the message we send is not always the message received.

Sometimes when we make a request, we can pick up on verbal cues or body  language to determine that the message we sent was received the way we intend-ed.  But other times you can tell that whatever you said was "Greek" to the listener. 

To ensure a smooth exchange of information, try getting into the habit of asking the listener to reflect back what they heard you say.  They don't have to give a word-for-word recitation, but simply state what they think you said.  Incorporating this into your conversations, upsets and misunderstandings can be avoided.

It's important expressIng appreciation when your listener tries to meet your request for a reflection.  Answering with "That's not what I said" or  "You weren't listening to me" will have the opposite effect.  A simple, "I'm grateful to you for telling me what you heard, I can see I didn't make myself as clear as I'd like. Let me try again." No Greek there!

******************** 

A Helpful Practice

       I ask others if they can tell me what they've heard me say.  Reflecting back what I hear, helps, too. It removes confusion. Again, what is communicated may not be what is heard.

       How many of my readers would like to join me, in exercising reflection this week?  May it be a great and grateful one, as a result!

Related Post:

Responding, Not Reacting

Grace: The Antidote to Bitterness Towards Others and Self Loathing ......................4/12/11

           A feature in this inn of support will be that, from time-to-time, I'll bring out a post from the past, will go down memory lane.  Grace has been key for my serenity, mental and emotional health. Many tell us to have acceptance when facing difficulties.  Usually, we interpret this as acceptance with resignation.  Like, "okay, I guess I have to accept my circumstances, there's nothing more I can do."

          It's better having acceptance with grace towards self and others. What good does it do, beating ourselves?  That's right, none.  When I'm gentle towards myself in areas needing improvement, it's more likely I'll experience success in those doggone areas.

          Kicking myself doesn't work.  Having grace towards annoying others also benefits me.  It  prevents being shackled to them with the chain of resentment.  Forgiveness is the bolt cutter that cuts the links that has me attached to them.  It has been said, "Forgiveness is not forgetting, it's letting go of the hurt." (Courage to Change, p 178)

          Now, I can wear cowboy boots. Yep, those pointed boots that Roy Rogers and John Wayne--wore in movies.  Back in my teens, twenties and thirties, I couldn't wear western footwear.  If I did, I'd have dimples all over me from kicking myself.  Not so, today:  I thankful I'm patient----towards me!

Condemning my imperfections has never enhanced my appreciation of  life nor has it helped me to love myself more. Courage, p 19.

           It is one thing knowing this fact in my head.  It's another to experience it resonating in my heart.

"It is never too late to start doing what is right."  Charles Swindoll

         Isn't it great knowing that if we slip, it's okay?  It's one thing if our behavior is a snap shot.  It's another if our vices are a video.  Now, I'm gentle towards myself.  How about you?  Wearing cowboy boots without self-imposed bruises, a pretty good deal.

         We help ourselves when using God's support, healthy alternatives and the assistance of friends.  This is living in a way that is healthy for us, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.  Remember, we were meant to live in relationship with others, staying-in-the-solution others, those who encourage us, our Balcony People.

         If lacking such a network, we can grow them.  Enjoying a community of friends take work; requiring an investment of time, needing character discernment.  But it's way worth the trouble.  

My Gratitudes for Today:

The Healing Power Of Grace.  

     I'm grateful for grace. No, I'm not talking about a woman with that name.  Grace helps me love myself.  It comes from God.

     It's not something I can manufacture by gritting my teeth, by dint of will. No, it's the result of recognizing my spiritual poverty----realizing that my best thinking and behavior has not been enough for me to become the person I want to be.  When I receive grace from others, it's because He's breathing through them.
1.  I appreciate the love and comfort available when connecting with the God of my understanding.
2.  I'm happy knowing God's forgiveness.  I'm in a loved position with God.  Knowing His forgiveness enables me to be gracious towards others and myself.  I can't give what I haven't received.
3.  I'm encouraged knowing that life is about enjoying and staying in the present moment.  Yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn't here.  The only thing I can focus on is "right now" and the gifts of love, joy and peace that I experience today, when living by healthy principles and I'm undergirded by my loving supportive network.
4. I'm thankful for the gifts and treasures life bestows on me.  I'm grateful for the thoughtful, kind deeds I experience from others----I consider them as kisses from God that remind me that God sees me as valuable and lovable. 

Acceptance Does Not Mean Acceptance (as we normally consider it) : But, It's the Key to Serenity and Emotional Healing ..................4/5/11

  
     Good morning,

I went to bed early and here I am, this dark, early morning on the Left Coast. I tried entering a site online where I, until recently, wrote regularly.  The place is closed, after existing for more than two years. For more info, read my first post.  While with friends last night, we spoke about acceptance.

        I've learned over the years that acceptance does not mean acceptance, as I once understood this word.  This realization once boggled my mind.  Before, I considered acceptance a form of passivity.  "Oh, I have to accept that so-and-so is rude, critical, will interrupt me whenever I speak, will always get angry if I disagree, I have to accept that." Or, "I behave in such and such inappropriate ways it's because of what I went through as a child.  My actions are coping mechanisms I learned back then. They are a part of who I am."

      Not necessarily so. This is NOT acceptance. I've learned that acceptance does not mean yielding to a degrading (or intimidating) situation, person or behavior. Or is this morning's case----to a disappointing circumstance.  Acceptance means coming to terms with the issue, grieving it, letting it go and then deciding what steps we'll take.  I call this the "Part B" of acceptance.  I have choices.  I'm not a helpless, hopeless victim.

 "Acting like a victim is a choice, not a destiny."
               Hope for Today, p.189

Progress Not Perf3cktion .......3/18/11

      Being gentle with ourselves is critical for our serenity.  Often, the negative voices we hear in our head are the critical comments we heard as a child.  We no longer need adults to say the shaming statements we grew up up with.  I agree, it's important to make amends when we've done wrong.  The surprise is learning that the first person we need to make amends to is ourselves.

     Risking, and allowing ourselves to make mistakes contributes big time, towards self-acceptance. The following passage I find helpful. Having this perspective helps us have an Attitude of Gratitude.

Progress can be hard to recognize, especially if our expectations are unrealistically high. If we expect our negative attitudes or unhealthy behavior to change quickly and completely, we're likely to be disappointed, progress is difficult to see when we measure ourselves against idealized standards. Perhaps it would be better to compare our present circumstances to where we had been in the past.

As I overcome inadequate coping strategies, I realize holding grudges hurts me. I now let go of resentments and Idespair when these attitudes persist. Fortunately, I've learned to focus on progress, not perfection. Although sometimesI still hold on to resentments, I know I'm making progress because I don't do it as often as I used to. I'm not resentful for as long a time. 

Today, I don't seek perfection; the only thing that matters is the direction in which I'm moving. As a result of hardwork I've done to work in this area of my life and a willingness to change, I am moving in a positive direction. I celebrate my progress today. I know that the process of personal growth will continue to help me grow toward a better way of living.

"Keep adding little by little and you will soon have a big  hoard."     Latin proverb

        Have a great and grateful weekend, freed from the stress of trying to attain something that is unattainable. Thanks for dropping by.  Please keep posting your gratitudes!