Friday, July 31

Between Reverie and Reality..... 7/31/15

The Fairmont Hotel. Opened in 1906.
     So much to say, only my left fingers to type with.

    No, my right hand was not amputated. I broke its wrist, with a Barton fracture.  First time I ever cracked a bone in my body. Since 10:00 pm, Monday, pain

Tuesday, July 28

Slamming Against a Hard Reality....... 7/28/15

      I write tonight, dictating on my smartphone. I have an ice pack on my right wrist. My left knee has its skin removed, creating a red circle one inch in diameter.  My right

Sunday, July 26

Another Waterfall Ride ................... 7/26/15

      Another waterfall of a ride this weekend.

       Joy splashed against cliffs of anguish.  Floating upon the river of elation, my soul was later pum-meled by boulders of remorse for my stupidity and lack of sensitivity. Stunning, gliding mo-ments upon the river of bliss were matched with the free-fall cascade of sorrow this morning. I felt confusion, loss, early this afternoon.

      Not now.

      Yet, I prefer this jum-ble of feelings, than living meagerly, as a pauper, because of a life lacking

Friday, July 24

The Key To True Riches, Abundance and Joy........ 7/24/15

       My head spins.

       It luxuriates in good fortune.  Riches beyond measure are overflowing the treasure chest of my expectations.  I am grateful, my smile has never been wider. My heart wells with

Monday, July 20

An Affirmation of Life: Dreams Coming True........ 7/20/15

        More to share than the number of nuts in the mouth of a success-ful chipmunk.  But these facts will be squirreled away from guests of this inn.  Four hands typing simultaneously, for eight+ weeks, could not document all the good happening, the past two months.  Details will be spared. The innkeeper writes tonight while wearing his cloak of

Friday, July 17

Warmed Over Death, The Need To Connect and Love First ................. 7/17/15

      It gave me the creeps.

     Someone wrote a comment here, at the inn, at 8:15 this morning.  The second time he has posted in four years.  It had no heart.  The com-ment was deleted.  How easy it is, staying in our head.  Warmed over death.

     The last two sentences sounds like a a lyric doesn't it?  Don't mind me, I've been listening to Neil Young's music lately. And I

Tuesday, July 14

Intimacy---Transparently Transcending Outdated Fears and Vulnerabilities...................... ...................7/14/15

      Being honest.

      Often hard.  False beliefs block the way.  We think we'll be rejected, the object of scorn, if we ex-press opinions differing from the crowd.  It is common to be infected by doubt and the anxi-ety of not fitting in.  Our fears often are the offspring of

Friday, July 10

The Pathway to IIntimacy: Being Transparent ..... 7/10/15

     Being tongue tied.

     Fear, being timid, or having low self-esteem prevents us from speaking the truth. We are op-pressed by others, we lack courage to stand true to

Wednesday, July 8

How to Have a Rich Life...................... 7/8/15

    Surprise.  I nor-mally post late at night, after my evening is done.

     Having a rich life is not about money. It is about living life fully. Abundance is not in how much we have, but in how much we enjoy.
  
    A mixture of feelings percolate within. The main thing is I am hap-py, more than content.  Over-joyed, in a quiet way,

Thursday, July 2

Speaking Our Truth, Why We Don't............... 7/2/15

         Saying what we want.

         How difficult it can be.  Fearing the reactions of oth-ers. It makes us feel like walking on egg-shells.  Wanting to please, we have a false belief.   We think our needs are less impor-tant than others.

        We are not honest.  We don't disagree---outward-ly.  Yet inwardly, we protest.  We do not state our o-pinions---what we want or do not want. We com-ply. Inside, we fume.

       Being authentic is hard.  Often, we fear rejection if we are.  We dread disapproval. Expressing our feelings and wants don't happen.  We fear ruining the relationship.

       Big question.  What type of relationship is it, if we can't be honest?  Is it worth having?  I say no.

        Not express-ing our true selves does not let others know the real us.  How empty is that?  Nobody's needs are met.  Our need for connection and closeness are not met.  Intimacy---to know and be known is not satisfied. The need of others to understand us is neglected.  Relating with us---genuinely---doesn't take place.

      The ancient Greeks used masks in plays.  The classic tragedy and comedy masks we know.  They indicated a performer's role.  Built within them were megaphones. They amplified the character's voice.

      This is where the mask got it's name.  Personna.  Per---which means through---and sona, which refers to sound.  The personna was the image the character portrayed as he "sounded" through a mask.

      This is the source for the word "person."  More than 2,700 years later, it is still true.  Many people continue to speak through a big mask, not revealing their true selves.

      We say, "I'm fine" when asked how we are.  While the fact is we aren't.  Our relationships are as tasty as shredded wheat.

     That is an insult to shredded wheat.  That fiber-filled cereal is tastier than insincere, inauthentic relationships.

      Today, I was real.  I was angry with someone.  This person had not seen me this way.  A rare occurrence.  However, there was no mask.  I said what I wanted. I expressed what I didn't want and what irritated me.

       It.  Felt.  Good.

      There's nothing wrong with anger.  It's how we express it that's important. We can be intense without being frightful. With strong emphasis, I stated my feelings without judgment.

       This required noticing the judgments and seeing where I was blaming another for my feelings.  Instead, I took responsibility for my emotions.  I removed the "shoulds" I had towards this person.

        I felt much better. I was connecting fully with the deeper needs underlying my negative feelings.  I experienced release, without requiring the other person to change.

        My life became manageable.

        How did I experience release?  I expressed my feelings fully, with intensity.  But I was not scary while angry with the person who upset me.

        I took responsibility for my feelings, not blaming her.  I did this by expressing the depth of my emotions and needs. Without judging her.

        Because I did, the other person heard me. Thank God for recovery. I responded.  I did not react.  My needs to self-express and enjoy peace of mind were met. And for that, I have an Attitude of Gratitude.
Gratitudes: 
1.  My life is richer beyond my imagination ever considered.  I am thankful for all the blessings I enjoy.
2.  I enjoy being present. I am not hampered by fear or anxiety.  I love discovering where my relationships will go, not manipulating out-comes.
3.  The nature and depth of my friendships.  It satisfies my soul, connecting with others, where loving, considerate honesty is matched with integrity, authenticity, compassion and emotional safety.
4.  I am happy helping people from different corners of the Earth. Today, I had a session with someone in Bavaria. Yesterday with a client in Austin, Texas and one in Reno, in addition to those I saw in person, in San Leandro.
5.  I love the confidence that recovery offers.  I love being free from codependency and the discretion/prudence recovery gives me.  I am bathed with the garlic of recovery----it keeps emotional vampires away, freeing me from toxic relationships.

How About You? 
What are your gratitudes for today?

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.

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