Monday, February 13

Authenticity, Revisited ............ 2/13/17

     How hard it is, genuinely relat-ing.

     It is sensa-tional having a heart-to-heart connec-tion with someone, where we are accepted. What a joy it is, being seen for who we are.  Our weak-nesses are reveal-ed and we are loved nonetheless.

      Expressing vulnerable thoughts.  Scary idea, saying what we feel, letting others know what
we want.  Doing that feels like going out on a limb.

      Revealing what is going on within us requires emotional resiliency.

      Often, we fear the opinion of others.  Seeking to please, we sacrifice our values.  We are not internally referented.

      The pressure is on us, to be a chameleon, to become the color others want us to be.  We do their bidding, even if we disagree.

       In the process, our character is sacrificed.  When we are accepted in this non-genuine state, they are accepting the color we present ourselves as being, not the true color we are when by ourselves.

      Without recovery, the applause received from others can easily overrule our standards and boundaries.  When that happens, we are inauthentic.  Life becomes empty.

      We are not accepted for who we truly are.

      It is also easy to measure ours worth by what we do.  We think strength is exercised through our success at work or how we manip-ulate outcomes.  We believe having power validates us.

      It doesn't.

     That's an unfulfilling perspective.  Nothing is further from the truth. Our lives are enhanced when we live honestly, enjoying a life balanced with truth, grace, and joy.
      What is the point of lying, to maintain a relationship?  Pre-tending to be someone we are not poisons our soul. We are not being present.

     We need to be present to truly live.

      Preferred, is be-ing ourselves.  If we have to be more than we are, in order to be loved by others, we want to bless these individuals.  And send them on their way.

     God's gift for us, they aren't.

     Those God sends our way love us.  As we are.  He gives them to us for free. They will have our back.  I agree with the following:
We long for the feeling that we are okay just as we are.  We long to feel relaxed.  We long for the courage to live with integrity.  
We long to reconnect with our authentic self---that sense of uniqueness and originality that comes from deep inside.  It is independent of others expectations
When we have the courage to show up as we are, we discover that we feel more deeply connected to others.  It's paradox-ical.  When we are fully expressing our one-of-a-kind selves, we also feel more kinship with all the other one-of-a-kind selves in the world. 
Why? Because when we are fully self-expressed, we become free of unfinished business and are able to be fully present to others.   
Self-expression leads to feeling open, available, trust-ing, and relaxed; all things that lead to feeling con-nected to others. 
                         Susan Campbell, Getting Real, 73-74 
How About You?   How do you want to be more authentic when relating?

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Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.