How hard it is, genuinely relat-ing.It is sensa-tional having a heart-to-heart connec-tion with someone, where we are accepted. What a joy it is, being seen for who we are. Our weak-nesses are reveal-ed and we are loved nonetheless.
Expressing vulnerable thoughts. Scary idea, saying what we feel, letting others know what
we want. Doing that feels like going out on a limb.
Revealing what is going on within us requires emotional resiliency.
Often, we fear the opinion of others. Seeking to please, we sacrifice our values. We are not internally referented.
The pressure is on us, to be a chameleon, to become the color others want us to be. We do their bidding, even if we disagree.
In the process, our character is sacrificed. When we are accepted in this non-genuine state, they are accepting the color we present ourselves as being, not the true color we are when by ourselves.
Without recovery, the applause received from others can easily overrule our standards and boundaries. When that happens, we are inauthentic. Life becomes empty.
We are not accepted for who we truly are.
It is easy measuring our worth by what we do. We think strength is exercised through success at work or how skilled we are at manipulating outcomes. We believe having power validates us.
It doesn't.
That's an unfulfilling perspective. Nothing is further from the truth. Our lives are enhanced when we live honestly, enjoying a life balanced with truth, grace, and joy, when we experi-ence true, heart-felt connection with others.
Pretending to be someone we are not poisons our soul. What type of relationship do we have if we cannot be hon-est? If that is the case, we are not being present.
We need presence to truly live.
Preferred to people pleasing, to being a chameleon, is being our-selves, saying what we want and feel without judging or criticizing others. If we have to be more than we are, in order to be loved, we want to bless these individuals. And send them on their way.
God's gift for us, they aren't.
Those God sends our way love us. As we are. He gives them to us for free. They will have our back. I agree with the following:
We long for the feeling that we are okay just as we are. We long to feel relaxed. We long for the courage to live with integrity.
We long to reconnect with our authentic self---that sense of uniqueness and originality that comes from deep inside. It is independent of others expectations.
When we have the courage to show up as we are, we discover that we feel more deeply connected to others. It's paradox-ical. When we are fully expressing our one-of-a-kind selves, we also feel more kinship with all the other one-of-a-kind selves in the world.
Why? Because when we are fully self-expressed, we become free of unfinished business and are able to be fully present to others.
Self-expression leads to feeling open, available, trusting, and relaxed; all things that lead to feeling connected to others.
Susan Campbell, Getting Real, 73-74
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