Saturday, July 6

Resiliency: Embracing Negative Reality. Ridding Self-Defeating Thoughts. Seeing Our Emotional & Spiritual Bankruptcy 7/6/13

      How is everyone?

This week has been challenging.  Today, I'm facing unpleasant circumstances. So, what is there to be grateful about, when life is tough?  How about this:

1.  I am not my circumstances.  Even though things may at times look bad, that doesn't mean they are.  A positive outcome is
just as likely as a negative one.

Ridding Unpleasant DVDs That Play Within the Theater of Our Minds

2.  That our feelings are not a prophecy.

       The loudest voice isn't necessarily the truest. (Courage to Change, p. 260) It's important placing principles above our personality.  This is exercising emotional maturity.

       Usually, when stressed, unpleasant memories from our childhood are triggered, becoming real within our emotional world.  Many of us were traumatized in our youth, no matter how insignificant the unpleasant moment may have appeared to others.  Characterologically, we remain that age---at least emotionally---even though outwardly we may appear adult-like, in charge of our senses.  It sure adds speed bumps in overcoming life's challenges.

       Replacing mental DVDs that play catastrophic scenarios about our difficulties----on a loop cycle----with alternative healthy action allows us the progress-not-perfection nature to life, which is definitely better.

3.  God loves me, regardless of how I'm doing or my circumstances.   I am not what I have, do or look.  The happiness I have is not based upon whether I'm in relationship with someone special or not.  I'm valued simply because I am me, and that is good enough.  Oh yeah---our Balcony People feel this way about us, too.  This is a comforting fact when going through our emotional valley of the shadow of death.

Acknowledging Our Spiritual Bankruptcy

4.  I'm deeply grateful for learning resiliency: tough times require tough action.

     The onerous action for many is humbling ourselves, admitting we can't handle life alone.  We need God:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."  Matthew 5:3
This passage reminds us how important it is being mindful of our spiritual bankruptcy, when apart from relating with God.

      I can't do anything apart from His help. Yes, I know it's a slug to our pride.  That's how it's supposed to be.  Humility is accurately assessing what we have and don't have.  It's admiting that our best thinking and behavior brought us to the difficult times we face today.  (Such is the case for the innkeeper, right now.)

      For me, this admission is not hard, but a joy and the source for my sanity.  The difficulty for me, during rough times, is waiting----trusting God for the results.  Knowing His faithfulness and His committed love for me, in the past---and recently---makes the rough patches of life easier to endure and emboldens me to move forward through Dark Night of The Soul moments.

      Faith is not a matter of placing it in itself.  It's not faith in faith that counts.   It's the object in which I place that matters.  I can have all the faith in the world that a sixteenth inch of ice will support me, when racing unto a frozen lake.

      I will still fall through.
A Zamboni
      On the other hand, I can have minuscule faith,  the size of a mustard seed ---which is tiny --- and put my toes on a lake of ice that's seven feet thick.  As it undergirds me, and I see a Zamboni zipping by, my faith increases, as I see the object in which I place it is trustworthy.

      Again, it's not faith in faith, but the object.  In trying circumstances, mine relies upon a God who dearly loves me, and you.

5.  I'm thankful for the clarity I can have when waves of pressure engulf me, driving me into the depths of the ocean of despair.  Doing the next right action---sometimes minute-by-minute---allows me to swim to the surface of  life with tranquility, sanity and serenity, buoyed by a faith that allows me to know a joy that transcends my circumstances.

      I have to go, issues are demanding my attention this morning.  In the meantime, your prayers and support are valued.

      Life is mine to own and enjoy. This is true even when taxed emotionally.  Resiliency is the gift received when embracing negative reality.   I view such times as opportunities to exercise creativity, to apply problem-solving to today's challenges.  I'm mindful of the following quote and because of it I can have an Attitude of Gratitude.
        May you have a great and grateful day.  I know I will.

Related Post:
Daring to Discipline My Emotions


Carl H said...

Dear Innkeeper,

On this Saturday night, I am grateful;

1. I could love and care for wife via her car; changing the oil, new wiper blades, filling the tank and taking it to the car wash; all this morning after a short, early-morning stint at work on my day off.

2. I could force myself to be cheerful while serving my aging Mom lunch and doing her shopping, even if tired.

3. I could "let go" of my plans to go to the gym to swim, in lieu of my wife's need for support with our youngest son to do some yard-cleaning chores in the late afternooon.

4. I could host a colleague from work during his first visit to our home to pick fruit and then join our family for dinner.

Pablo said...

Dear Carl,

For some reason I did not see this comment until now. kudos to you for cherishing your wife.

You might try asking God for the grace when operating beyond your limits. He gives grace to the humble.

I'm impressed; you surrendered your goals in order to support your wife's need for order in the yard. She's lucky having you as her husband.

May your tribe increase. It's heartening hearing the positive impact you're making in the world around you. You ministered to your mom, wife and a coworker. Kudos to you. Because of people like you, this world is a better place!

Thumper said...


I really love when you stated: "I am not my circumstances." Yes, a positive outcome is as likely as a negative one. I am working on thinking more positively and being grateful for what I have, especially when things are going badly.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.