The Beauty of Authenticity---A Partial Overview From a Tired Innkeeper ..................5/5/14

      Hi everyone.  Sunday, which just ended, was the best day I had all year.  Another day this week may replace it.  I'm expecting a fantastic gift, which will make my year.  In the meantime, I'm soaking in the wonderfulness of this day.  Oh, if you can't tell, I'm happy.

      Should I just be obvious and say it?  You have an idea as to what is going on with me.  I'm in love and this relationship is improving by the second.

The Beauty of Authenticity

      I'm happy that I have broken through the lid of my own self-imposed limitations. I say what is alive within me, what I feel, when connecting with

Letting You Know Me a Bit Better 2/20/14

Image: "England, Cumbria, Buttermere" by Tim
 Blessed. Copyrighted photo. Used by permission

     Yes, I'm up.  I shouldn't be.  An 8:30 appointment, tomorrow morning, awaits.  I'm not retiring for the night, yet.  Let me deviate from the normal focus of this inn, while we spend time together.

      Someone has

Enjoying LIfe, Knowing Fulfillment and An Overview of the Past Year ...........1/1/13

      It's great feeling good, elated, even.  Many want that experience.  Unfortunately, depression is the lot for many.  As I've written before, all negative feelings are a result of an unmet need.

      Doing what we love and expressing our voice are two ways that allow us to meet our need for meaning, celebration of life and participating in the quest for fulfillment.

     I have the good fortune of being in a profession that

I Choose Life. I Have Control Over How I Respond To Life's Circumstances ...................7/10/12

We must never forget that we may also find meaning
in life even when confronted with a hopeless situat-
ion,when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For
what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely
human potential at its best, which is to transform a
personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one's pre-

         dicament into human achievement. 

         When we are no longer able to change the situa-
         tion---just think of an incurable disease such as 
         inoperable cancer--we are challenged to change 
         ourselves.      Viktor Frankl

        If I'm not care-ful, the moth of my unhealthy self is at-tracted to flame of those who want to deplete my energy.

        I'm thankful for discernment.  I'm mindful I am the average of the five people I hang out with. I relate with those who grow charac-terologically and enjoy life.

        As the quote under the picture encourages us, we may not be able to control our circum-stances, but we can control how we choose to respond to them.

        Happiness can be ours.  Even when surrounded by the grey clouds of a despairing situation.  We can bloom like the gorgeous cactus flow-er at the beginning of this post.

       We, too, can flourish.  This can be true in spite of being placed in the desert of trying circumstances.  It doesn't matter if our dry time is a divorce, losing a job or experiencing depression.

      Dr. Frankl knew this reality.  He lived life ful-ly.  This was his story  as a Jew entrapped in a concentration camp, during World War II.  Our difficulties could not be worse than that, are they?

        I didn't think so.

        I use the power of choos-ing healthy responses.  Even in dire times.  Optimists fare better and live longer.  They are happier and healthier than those who perseverate and dwell upon the dreariness of life.

        You can read more about this here. 

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         It's good hearing from so many of you. Thank you for signing the registry to this inn with your gratitudes.  It's getting late so I'll share mine and be off to bed.
1. I'll ride with a new cycling buddy on Wednesday. I'll enjoy the adventure and fun we'll have.
2. I spoke with the person who made last week unpleasant.
      He wanted to argue. I wasn't interested, I told him. A person can't play an emotional tug-of-war with me, if I let go of the rope.

       I simply stated my feelings, without using judgment. I let him know I needed dignity and respect in our interactions. I made no statement about his harmful behavior. I demonstrate respect towards him and equally expect him to do the same.  I left it at that.
       I appreciate having my voice and taking a stand for courtesy.
3. I received a gift today. Totally unexpected. I'm touched by this person's extreme generosity.  It's from my middle son, Micael.
4. For some reason, even though my right knee is stiff and sore, I can ride my bike without discomfort.  I thrive when I exercise. It does wonders to discharge tension and frustration.
5. I appreciate the efforts from a friend who is helping me with my business and in my social life. Wow, am I lucky. I'm touched by his support. It means a lot to me.
6. I avoid relating with those who frequently complain.

        If you knew me better, you'd be surprised with the resiliency I've had, despite severe setbacks.  I'd love hearing your response to this post.

The Joy of Giving ................................5/4/12

  A Special Time
       I met with someone I mentor today, in addition to my regular work schedule.  The time with the person was

Last Days Spent with a Bewhiskered Friend ........................6/7/11 Alexander Part II

I used a glass bowl, like this one, to give Alexander the Gray water

     Good evening,
More about my dear friend, Alexander the Grey(t), in a minute----after getting in my gratitudes.

     I'm excited; today was terrific. Met with clients this afternoon. Afterwards, I met with friends who own businesses. There was energy, balanced with wisdom.  I'm thankful for my notes. There were ideas aplenty mentioned that I'll apply to my work.

My Gratitudes for Today:

1. My car is fixed. I'll pick it up up tomorrow. I appreciate the flexibility and independence of having a set of wheels.
2. It's fulfilling, working on my business plan. I'm seeing results. I'm thankful for increasing awareness about the shape and direction of my work, along with greater effectiveness.
3. I'm working with others, who support me as I take my business to a higher level.
4. I heard someone talk today. It was encouraging hearing about him succeeding in today's economy. .And he has a regular job!
5. It's motivating seeing  my vision becoming increasingly clear. You may want to see my previous post for details.

Buddy Time with a Cat in Decline

     Alexander, my friend's cat, is still kicking. Although, it's no longer with his hind feet. It's his heart that perseveres. I dropped by his house and helped out earlier today. He no longer walks.

     I love his quiet determination. I witnessed him using his two front paws, pulling himself along the carpet, as he tried reaching the litter box. A feline diaper, he now wears. I picked my furry friend up, held him in the box and removed his undies. He took care of business.

     Afterwards, outside, on a big pillow, like the royal pasha he is, I transported him. Laying on his side, unable to move, he viewed the rows of Redwood trees in his backyard. The moment reminded me of a scene from the movie Solyent Green, where Edward G. Robinson went to end his life.

     In the film, Robinson reclines, drinks something that will do him in. Before his eyes, he views films of nature and listens to music, before passing on. Once outdoors, Alexander's ears perked up. His eyes darted.

     Neighboring cats, Sammy the Siamese, Benjamin, the tuxedo cat and Freddy, the puffy, big, half-feral black cat, came by to sniff him and say good bye, real gentle like. After the feline visitors departed, we sat, watching darting flies---cats notice the darnedest things----butterflies and the occasional flitting of a bird. I swear I saw a smile creep upon his bewhiskered face. Alex had been cooped against a wall in the kitchen, all day, until then.

    When I returned him to the house he owns, that he shares with the resident, Arlene, I thought he might be thirsty. Outside, the sun, at length, had caressed his back.  A small glass water bowl was brought to Mr. Grey(t).  As I approached, water splashed in the bowl.  His eyes expanded, reaching out for it, like a cartoon character seeing something that captures its fancy. With the water bowl standing on his pillow, inches from his face, Mr.Gray was unable to drink.

    No longer can he sit or stand. This being the case since Monday.  Tenderly, from behind, I pulled him up with a hand on each of his sides, allowing his scrawny body to stand, in front of the shimmering bowl. He lowered his head and drank and drank and drank.

    I'm thankful for simple pleasures.  I never realized how satisfying it is doing hospice care, tending to a dying cat, taking time to slow down and listen, as Alexander spoke to me with his beautiful green eyes.

    For the first story in this series, please read here. 

An Evening to Remember ..5/29

..

      I just got in from being out last night, Saturday. I had a marvelous time with friends. Tonight's post shall be brief.

My gratitudes for Saturday.

1. Fun with friends and family was my delightful experience this evening. My birthday was celebrated at my favorite place, the Fairmont Hotel.

Resting Before Tomorrow's Event

We'll hike out here, tomorrow. This is Sunol Regional Park

        Good evening everyone,

  How are my Silent Readers doing? Welcome to the readers from Malaysia and Germany, thanks for dropping by.  I'm posting my gratitudes before the day converts to Saturday. I've added an index to this place. I'll leave you with the following quotes.

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

This following statement motivates us to develop our network of Balcony People (if you want to know more about them click on the purple link); there are plenty of benefits

Gratitude: A Matter of Perspective...... 5/15/11

           Life is good. I've discovered over the years that joy has NOTHING to do with external details. I can have it regardless what job I have, car I drive, the size of my home or how much I have in the bank, who loves me or who doesn't. .  In spite of difficult circumstances, I can still bump into joy, along with serenity and tranquility. What liberty, tranquility and joy I experience when I'm freed from external referenting.  Yes, that's a word. I admit, a big portion of my happiness is due to my relationship with God, more about that, in a minute. 

         But, partaking in an Attitude of Gratitude involves perspective, too.  I partake of it when I  choose to stay in the present, versus dwelling upon the darker moment of my past or fearing----being anxious----about possible future difficulties.  The present is where we are---always!!


        I'm thankful for knowing God’s forgiveness, and grace.  I delight in knowing that I'm in a loved position with God. This close, loving relationship does NOT change----even when my thoughts or behavior is less than the standards God has set for me. Now, that is a mind-blowing concept. 

       One of my favorite posters says, 'Life is a test. It

       is only a test.Had this been a real life you would

       have been instructed where to go and what to do;
       Whenever I think of this humorous bit of  wisdom,
       it reminds me to not take my life so seriously.

      Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, p85.

***********************************************************************************

My gratitudes for today:

1.  I had a run in today with someone who struggles with rage and raged upon me. I have compassion for this person. I'm also thankful that I didn't cause his rage. He had it way before I ever met him.  I'm glad that I've learned that I am to be responsive to, but not responsible for, the emotions of others.  I can't tell you how liberating it is to not be manipulated by the emotions of others.(For more about dealing with an emotional bully, click here. )

    Other people's emotions are their property and my emotions are mine. To feel responsible for another person's emotions is a serious crossing of boundaries, ours and theirs.(For more about this, please click here.)

2. I'm glad that I don't get as triggered by the negative emotions of others. I was able to take care of myself. A serene day was had.  Really. There's a proverb that says to stay away from an angry person or you'll learn his ways. That's what I did this morning. 

    I actually said to this agitated person, "I never gave you permission to condemn me and I'm asking you to stop judging me." I said this calmly, Next, I extricated myself from this person.

3. It's wonderful knowing I'm powerless over the history that other people bring with them, including the pain that is involved with it. I also know that I will not allow myself to be anyone's emotional punching bag. There's a saying I've shared elsewhere:

"If you feel like  doormat, you need to get up off the floor." 

        For me, that statement brings a smile and a chuckle, but it's still true. I love the fact, that a I learn to stand  by my personal principles, stand in my power and live by my integrity, I enjoy a freedom and joy that I never experienced as a young man. My friendships are richer and more harmonious because, we get what we tolerate and we train people how to treat us.

          Let me know what you think. Look at the following link if you want to know if you're dealing with an emotional bully. Click here. Although this link refers to a woman as the bully, the same holds true if it's a guy. 

                       The guy from the Left Coast,

Getting Work Done, Boundaries, Freedom from Pretense

      What a wonderful Wednesday this was!
The weather was fabulous. Now is the time when I frequently post gratitudes; while it is still this day, minutes away from tomorrow. As you will read below, there are many things for which we can be grateful. It's not really hard to think of some.

      If you're stumped, try using the alphabetical approach: I'm grateful for air, I love the sound of babies laughing, as their parents blow on their bellies and beautiful flowers.  I'm thankful for cars and cats.  You get the idea.

The Vision of This Inn ....................... 5/2/11

Welcome!

      It's Monday.  

     Can you think of a better way of starting this week than breathing in gratitudes? Neither can I.  This inn will encourage as you go through the week.  Please enjoy a seat on the couch.  

      Relax from the pressures of your world.  Here you'll find hope. You'll get the support for an optimistic, staying-in-the-solution week. 

      Dwelling on life's problems only makes them loom large and more disturbing. Where is the growth in that?  Exactly.  Progress occurs when we live in community with healthy rela-tionships and avoiding those that aren't.  We're meant for good company.  You'll find that here. You sign the registry to this inn by posting gratitudes. I ask for three.  

       This inn wants to motivate. It will help you as you journey towards your goals for this month and year.  Godspeed to you.

         Please, pause from persistent petitions for your attention.  Make time to invest in yourself. Exercise your positive attitudes.  It's an excellent habit. 

“Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.”                                        William James   

         Would you like to join us and share three gratitudes?  You'll find many benefits in doing so.  Keep in mind:

All happy people are grateful. Ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to complain, but it is truer to say that complaining leads people to becoming unhappy.

There is much less envy of the rich by the poor than there is of the happy by the unhappy; of those who believe by those who don't believe.                                                             Dennis Praegner

              Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone   

                                   Gladys Bronwyn Stern 

Gratitude is our most direct line to God and the angels.  If we take the time, no matter how crazy and troubled wefeel, we can find something to be thankful for.                        Terry Lynn Taylor

 Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. 

                         William Arthur Ward

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                     What is an Attitude? 

It is the 'advance man' of our true selves.

Its roots are inward but its fruit is outward.

It is our best friend or our worst enemy.

It is more honest and more consistent than our words.

It is an outwards look based on past experiences.

It is a thing which draws people to us or repels them.

It is a never content until it is expressed. It is the librarian of our past.

It is the speaker of our present.

It is the prophet of our future.

                   John Maxwell, The Winning Attitude

         We carry our attitudes, wherever we go.  Many learned during childhood.   False beliefs like not discussing what troubles us.  Or we're to unquestioningly yield to others, allows others to control us.  

      Not a good idea, unless we want to be depressed.  It's good remembering when we turn eighteen, we're adults.  We are an equal to anyone else.   Please don't believe anyone telling you otherwise.

     Knowing our intrinsic worth prevents us from surrendering chunks of ourselves, to "keep" a relationship.  We want to reconsider the validity of our beliefs. Paradoxically, they are not necessarily inerrant.  It's up to us what attitudes we'll allow renting in the territory of our minds. Hopefully, they'll be constructive thoughts.

     Here's wishing you a terrific week! 

The Vision of This Inn.................. 4/25/11

Welcome

          Can you think of a better way of going through your week than considering your gratitudes? Neither can I.  Know that this place is here to encourage you.  Please have a seat.  Relax from the pressures of your world.  Here you'll find hope, and support for an optimistic, staying-in-the-solution week. 

      Dwelling on life's complications only makes them loom large and more disturbing.  Where's the growth in that? Exactly. Progress doesn't occur when we live in isolation. We were meant to live with healthy, affirming relationships. You'll find that here. You sign the registry to this inn by posting your gratitudes. This room exists to help you as you journey towards your goals.

Making Amends & Being Gentle Towards Self ....... 4/21/11

     I hope this post is helpful.  It deals with an important subject----making amends. This is different and more effective than apologizing, which is merely

Getting What We Want: Going Beyond Disappointment ......................4/15/11

     I attended a business meeting today that has strong consequences for me.  The unsatisfactory outcome didn't surprise me, there's a lot of room for improvement on this employer's part.  (I work for several.) 

      I stated what I needed. The powers that be, are responding to my request. One thing I've learned over time is that I need to take responsibility for life's disappointments, even if someone else causes them.  Yes, I'm the one responsible for coping with them.

       If I say to a person who upsets me, "until you change from doing x,y and z, I'll be angry, unhappy, (put in your anticipated negative response),"  I'm surrendering my happiness and serenity over to that individual.  I've just stated that my joy is based upon their reaction.  Not a good deal.  

        This person may not have the ability, or consciousness to meet my needs.  In today's meeting, I was assured that I'll get an answer to my request within a few days.  Good, I like that response.

        When facing unsatisfactory circumstances, I consider my options.  Applying positive alternatives is crucial for my mental health.  If I'm discouraged, I can spend time with good friends.  Exercising provides an additional outlet for stress.  

         I can listen to music I love or call a Balcony Person for a supportive ear.  Praying, journaling or walking in the countryside are other ways of nurturing myself when frustrated or my nerves are frayed.

        There are many things I can do to have the serenity needed, in order to personally thrive.  I'm less exasperated when I'm aware that happiness is a choice; it's not based upon what other people say or do. Focusing on troubles and disappointments only makes them loom larger and more disturbing. 

        Staying in the solution allows me to have an Attitude of Gratitude. Taking constructive action towards overcoming a disappointment allows me to create a better today.

"Acting like a victim is a choice, not a destiny."

         Here's to making healthy choices,

Hope For Dark Times............ 3/29/11

Experiencing a gracious living God is like feeling the
 sun's warmth streaming through the clouds of difficulties

         Good morning everyone, 

It's easy getting overwhelmed with the pressures we face.  It's second nature, relying on our mind, believing it will solve our problems.  It doesn't.  The lynch pin is

Getting Through the Day (Staying intact & refreshed, while under pressure) .......... ...................3/26/11

    The following spiritual disciplines help us get through the day, especially those days with challenges and stress.

1.  Meditation.

    This exercise slows us down.  It helps us get away from the frenetic white noise of a busy life.  Meditation stills our mind.  It allows us to get perspective about the events transpiring in our day, the past week or month.

      Seeking God's will in the midst of all that confronts us, is what we attempt.  Praying for God's grace to carry out His will, not ours, our goal. This is Step 11 in recovery.  Spirituality is humbling, is healing, is rare.

     Meditating is connecting with a transcendent God.  Prayer is talking to Him.  Meditation is when we stop and listen to Him.  We were given one mouth and two ears because we were meant to use them in that proportion.  When we speak we only say what we know.  When we listen, we may learn something we didn't know before.  Listening requires humility.   When we open the ears of our heart we find direction.

"The mind of man plans his ways but the Lord directs his steps."  Proverbs 16:9