Friday, April 13

Emotional Aikido: A Great Way to Handle Stressful Moments ........ 4/13/12

       How is everyone? 
I'm happy you dropped by. I wrote this April 27th last year. I want to share it with those of  you who haven't dug around in the dusty boxes-----the archives of this inn. 
Taking Care of Ourselves 
       I just got in from giving a talk.  I spoke on growing in our power and integrity versus
whining. Afterwards, I spent time with friends who showed up to hear me. We visited a cafe.  I sipped steamed milk (I didn't want to being wired when I got to bed). A woman and I chatted about her unfaithful boyfriends, death, sociopathy and verbal Aikido.
Emotional, Verbal Aikido
       Aikido was my description to an experience I had earlier in the day.  It's staying present, when experiencing negative energy coming our way. It's deflecting it, without harming the perpetrator.  It's not allowing another person's unhealthy comments or behavior to harm us. Verbal Aikido protects our emotional well-being.
      This type of emotional martial art is about keeping our emotional balance, responding, nor reacting while in the midst of a tense situation. It allows us to maintain our emotional sobriety. Emotional safety is likelier when exercising boundaries. When assassinated verbally, it's helpful saying,
"We need to put a bookmark in this conversation. I need to process what you've said."
And then run outside and scream. :-> It's okay doing so, if it helps.  I process difficult moments with others by talking it over with my Balcony People. (For more information, click here.) I might exercise or journal about the situation.  Spending time with God, yielding frustrations over to His care, also helps for many. 
        Today, I was with someone who had an emotional meltdown and was abusive. Knowing what to do, when it happened, made this innkeeper grateful. I wasn't Porky Pig.  I didn't say,"budda, budda, budda....," stammering because I was caught off guard by this person's unpleasantness.
        At first, it may not be easy practicing detachment, but life is more enjoyable when we don't take mistreatment by others personally. It's a statement about them, not us. For further insight into Emotional Bullies, click here or here.
       A second bully, the one I wrote about a month ago, showed up where I spoke this evening. By the time I had finished visiting with members in the audience, he was gone. It was a relief not needing to be vigilant. 
       I'm tired, I'm going to bed, after sharing my thanks for today. The emotional demands of the day wore me out. I'm in H.A.L.T.. I'll take care of myself by hitting the hay.
My Gratitudes for Tonight:
1. I'm speaking Friday on Having a Spiritual Awakening.  I'm grateful for the support of several friends. They will be there.
2. I like writing. It's forcing me to be concise. It's more work than I imagined, before opening this inn. The results of writing are not ephemeral, like a talk. Life slows down in a luxurious way. I take the time to inventory my thoughts when I write. I value the resultant mental clarity. 
3. I'm grateful for the strength I receive when I settle down, keep my emotional balance and spend time in His Presence.
"Be still and know I'm God."  Ps 46:10


Optimistic Existentialist said...

I find the concept of Verbal Aikido quite fascinating - thanks for introducing me. Also, I completely agree with the concept of detaching yourself emotionally while in adversarial scenarios - a sort of "emotional compartmentalization" so-to-speak.

Vanessa Higgins said...

I am usually pretty good at reflection. People sling words that are hurtful and I brush them off my shoulders. The problem is when you go back to that person over and over again….over time, your armour wears off and little splinters of negativity embed themselves in your skin. It takes time to let those splinters come to the surface so we can remove with love and care, one by one.

Pablo said...


I felt your comment and this subject was important enough that I wrote a post this evening in response to it, in the main room of this inn, not here.

You can find it here:

I enjoy your daily visits. Thank you for keeping the innkeeper company. :)

Pablo said...


Saturday, I'm writing a post addressing your comments. I'm thankful for your visits. What you wrote Friday at your place was almost beyond my comprehension. I'm not complaining.

It's just that you take me to levels of awareness that would have been dormant, if I had not stumbled upon your blog.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and observations. I'm a better person, because of them.

You give me cause for abounding gratitudes.

The Innkeeper

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.