Sunday, April 15

Meeting Someone New 4/15/12

Image: "Field and Country: Spring Shine" by  Tim
 Blessed.All rights reserved. Used by permission.  
My Gratitudes for Sunday
1. The weather was terrific. Great weather lifts my spirit. I feast on the stimulation that Spring brings to my senses.
2. Lunched with friends. There was plenty of laughter. A few who normally don't join us, joined. Fellowship, intimacy, and love are always a
great way to celebrate life.
3. I rested. Napping was a great way to restore my energy and prepare me for this week.
4. I spoke this week twice. I enjoy doing so. I like the inspiration it provides me; I'm thankful to have an arena where I can express myself----something I was not allowed to do as a child. You can read more about that and how we can get healing from such a past, here.
5. I had a phenomenal time with a client on Friday. I love seeing growth and hope developing in another.
Five Key Words: We Get What We Tolerate
    Sixthly, a woman I've been getting to know revealed herself. No, not that way, silly.  I'm uncomfortable with individuals who are quick to judge, or get angry easily---those are two of my "can't stands" when it comes to relationships.
     It's hard enjoying equanimity, tranquility or emotional safety when connecting with a person who has
these tragic, unhealthy qualities.  You can guess whom I'm not interested in relating with.
7. Character discernment has saved my emotional and relational butt many a time.
8. A piano is offered to me, for free. It's in fine shape. I need to find a truck and seven men who can help me move bring it to my house.
9. I'll be gathering with my sons---we'll play some cards and hang out, soon.
10.  God is so good. I appreciate his tender love towards me.
11. I'm grateful for the work I do. I love my profession and am honored to be in the helping profession.
12. I went for a 14 mile ride on my bike yesterday. I loved every second of it. I'm thrilled about where I live. So many stories are conjured when I pass by homes, people, and lovely scenery on my bike. I love the coast, beach and kindness of those who live on this island.
13. I haven't used my car in a month. It's been heaven. I'm finding I don't need to use it.
Meeting Someone New
In Real Time, In the Real World
        Recently, I wrote about lunching with friends on Saturday. What I didn't say was that as they got their food, I found myself talking with someone who looked like one of those women in shampoo ads.  I didn't know her.  We ended up chatting for 40 minutes, effortlessly, the best way a conversation can go.
       Man, the conversation was the type I like.  Intense, but compassionate.  Thoughtful, yet warm.  Mentally exciting, while balanced with laughter and levity.  And there were sparkles in her blue eyes to match her smile.
       Her feet were pointed towards me the whole time. Mine were pointed away from her and I looked at her with sideways stance. (I read somewhere that means something, guys and gals.)
       I was blown away by this easy rapport with a total stranger.  And, concerns popped up.  In short order, she disclosed her life, the good and not so good.  She told me her age---unsolicited. She shared her successes and her many times of defeat. Hmm. Maybe she felt comfortable with me---yeah she was, come to think of it.
    The connection was palpable. She ran with my thoughts, which is a good thing.  Now, most of you don't know me.  Don't worry.  I'm not impulsive when it comes to relationships.  But it was fun.
      I ended the conversation.  My friends were waiting, they had a seat saved for me, two and half feet from where I was standing.  They had been eyeing my interaction with her. She gave me her card and hugged me before gathering her bag and leaving.
     When I joined the group at the table, no one said a word.  Good friends.  (I'll let you be snoopy if you wish---I'm open to your cautions and wisdom.) I'll let you know we agreed to meet again next Saturday at a local cafe.
      Wouldn't you like to be a fly on that cafe wall?  :)

14. I'm thankful for a fun conversation and my willingness to be present when the occasion presented itself. I'm happier that I was relaxed, just myself.  I've cited this excerpt before, but I'll do it again. I like these lines from James Kavanaugh:
I don't search in emptiness and need, but out of increasing fullness and desire. Emptiness seeks any face to fill the void, it is full of shadows easy to replace. Fullness finds a friend that is unique and irreplaceable. 

2 comments:

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I love those conversations that spark an instant rapport with another soul...sounds as if you experienced one of those moments.

Pablo said...

Keith,

Yes, it was one of those moments of instant rapport. I liken them to ballroom dancing, something I do. There are so many things going on within me---how I'm responding---when these moments pop up.

I listen, really trying to hear what the other person is saying. Often the most important thing a person says is what they don't say. I attempt to---using empathy---hear what they are communicating, that transcends mere words.

With the personal growth I've experienced over the past 8 years, I notice I'm different now, when talking with someone new. The main thing is that I'm calmer. And, I was a pretty calm person eight years ago---by training, temperament and experience.

I love the dynamic that goes on when meeting someone for the first time. There are so many delicious clues given: visual, tonal, verbal, emotional and I have to admit, even spiritual. Yep, spiritual.

I come from a space where I value every person on earth. I believe people sense that from me. It frequently allows others to open up without a care.

I feel humbled and privileged that this woman revealed portions of her universe with me, that day. I also was given enough clues to motivate discretion and temperance while I get to know her better.

Keith, may this be a terrific week for you, is my prayer. Thanks for listening, when I write. You do that very well.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.

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