Wednesday, July 31

The Vision of The Inn 7/31/13

       Hello everyone,

How was your day?  This month the inn had the most views ever----nearly 20,000.

      The following post is being bumped up.  It's a important one.  Accomplishing anything requires perspective. What you'll read next is the vision for the Attitude of Gratitude Inn.

Here is the post:
        Can you think of a better way of starting this

Tuesday, July 30

A Joyful Recovery 7/30/13

     Hello everyone,

I'm doing a happy dance.  Am I ecstatic.  Someone had hacked this inn and deleted my most sentimental and

Monday, July 29

A Momentous and Humbling Time 7/29/13

     Good evening,

Today was a busy but excellent day.  I saw five clients today.  Whew!  The sessions were good, varied in content and took their toll on me, emotionally.  I put a lot into my work, today was

Saturday, July 27

He Who Has Friends Must Show Himself Friendly, Revisited

         How was your Saturday?

It's a day off for me, from the inn. So, today, I'm bumping up this post written last year in October. Here it is:

         I relate with someone who is emotionally scarred.  I'll call him Bob.  As a kid, his mother constantly created drama and topped that off by yelling at him, a lot.  Unfortunately, his hearing isn't the best, he has tinnitus---constant ringing in his ears--- the result of

Thursday, July 25

Tactfulness: Making a Point Without Making an Enemy............ 7/25/13

     How are you?

Barely got this post in before this day became Friday.  I just awoke from four hours of slumber.  Whew.  My mind shut down, upon arriving home.  It was depleted from a day of intense work.

     Today required every bit of my

Wednesday, July 24

Attitude & Principles:Sources for Serenity During Tough Times 7/24/13

You'll notice my knees are not shaking. 
An Attitude Check

     How is your attitude?

      Like an airplane, is your attitude nose up, and climbing, or is it nose down, heading for a crash?

       Mine?  You know the answer.  Hopefully, it's one reason why you drop by.  The thing is, our disposition can be positive----even when times are dire.

       We can have a peace of mind that transcends our circumstances.

       During tough times, we can fly by the instrument panel of healthy principles.  It's best being guided by the rudder of a loving God.  We also set a stronger course in life when enjoying dynamic, positive, discerning, friends.  Having a sense of humor even when we are tried improves our attitude.

      Life flies smoothly when we are free from emotional vampires.  We don't let them consume us.

Growth: Moving Beyond Knowledge

       How can we have a smoother, more satisfying life?

       By eating slowly.  We become careful about what and how much we feed our mind.  Like eating food, it's best digesting what we learn, slowly.

       It takes a while for our brain to signal the stomach of our compre-hension.  After an hour of study, we usually have enough meaty information requiring exercise--- application.  Living what we learn prevents us from becoming mentally fat.

       Gobbling food leads to indigestion.  It contributes to packing more pounds than needed on our mortal coil.  The same holds true with learning.

        Personal growth is not a matter of stuffing our head with ideas.  Learning is more than how many pages are read.  It's about three things.  Applying, applying and applying.

        This is how unhelpful youthful patterns are overcome. This requires effort.

        Schools have taught us incorrectly.  True learning is not about acquiring more information.  Wisdom is using what we know.  Otherwise, what is the point for studying?

Changing Familial Legacies
 Overcoming Ingrained Characterological Patterns

      We want to recognize books were not given to increase our knowledge, but to improve our lives. That is the beginning of growth.  Ruminating upon what we learn, practicing it, making it a deliberate part of who we are---incarnating it---is far better.

     When difficulties arise, antidotes can help us triumph over today's or tomorrow's looming difficulties.

      Catastrophizing doesn't help.  Panicking doesn't either.  If that's where we find ourselves, we're forgetting life is never successful by isolating.

      Support from my Comfort Circle of emotionally healthy friends is the bug spray that wards off life's irritations. Without connecting with others, we suffer from the Second Law of Thermodynamics.  Our joy decays.

      Freaking out only makes problems worse, more disturbing.  Fear informs us we want to use recovery.  We want grace balancing any negativity we perceive.

      It is better, responding, not reacting.  It's easy condemning ourselves.  Many of us grew up with constant judgment.  Without recovery, it is easy using our default mode---allowing the fearful child within to fly the plane of our lives.

      A bad idea.

The Instrument Panel of Healthy Principles

      Being mindful of healthy principles, and living by them, allow the airplane of our life to fly straight, calmly, preventing our daily experiences from crashing into the sea of despair.
"If thy law [or healthy principles] had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction."    Psalms 119:92
Specific Dials On the Instrument Panel, You Ask?

     You want to know specific principles that help?  Okay.  Here's one:
"When I need the applause of others to feel good about myself, I give them power over my life." Another you ask? All right. How about this: "I block my well-being each time I base my self-worth on what I do or what others think of me."
        You are persistent.  I hear you asking for more.  You are gobbling up these principles like potato chips, although they are healthier.

        Fine. Here's another that provides serenity:
"Condemning my imperfections has never enhanced my appreciation of life nor has it helped me to love myself more."  You want more?  Here's a final one: "If you feel like a doormat, you need to get up off the floor." 
        If you use the instrument panel of principles, you'll fly straighter.  The buffeting storms of life will not through you off course.  You will arrive at a life filled with more serenity, emotional ease, and joy.

         Happy flying.

How About You? 
      Are you nose up or nose down?   Please share what state your attitude is in, and why.  

Monday, July 22

We Are Met By the Traits We Show 7/22/13

    My Gratitudes for Monday: 
1.  I had a fantastic day at work.  The work I do is satisfying and rewarding.  It's not my job---- it's my joy.
2.  I rode my bike at length today. After working in San Leandro, 12 miles from my home, I went to a business meeting in Piedmont, and rode home another 8 miles.  It is

Sunday, July 21

Going Easy On Ourselves, When We Goof 7/21/13

     I worked.  The San Francisco Giants lost.  I have a rash on my right arm, a result of the hot weather.  Other than that, and adding two new persons to my clientele today (I'll see them Tuesday), and my brain is fried, it was typical day. 

     Oh yeah, there were

Saturday, July 20

I Had Dinner With Four Amazing Women and They All Wanted Me to Touch Them. What Do You Think of That? 7/20/13

Image: "Scotland: Loch Garry
By Tim Blessed. Copyrighted photo. 
     How are you?

Did the title intrigue you?  I'll get to this incident in a second.  Please be patient.

       Yesterday, I was exhausted.  I took time off from recovery by ending the day with fun: I saw Red 2 and RIP Police at the local movie theater.  Tonight, after being groped and touching other women, I saw Despicable Me 2 with two of them.

      This afternoon, I went to a

Friday, July 19

Surveying the Past Week: Highs and Lows. Let Me Hear Yours 7/19/13

Image: "Cumbria: Mountain Walk"by Tim Blessed.
Copyrighted photo. Used by permission.
  Good evening,

Here I am, again.  The day is almost over, I'm slipping this post under the wire, before Friday changes its name.  As many of you know---frequently, towards the end of the week----I ask if

Thursday, July 18

Back At It

   Good evening everyone,

It's terrific coming back and reading comments from guests to this inn. Thank you.  Yesterday morning, my computer crashed and I took it in for repair.  This evening I picked it up.

    There was a loss. All documents on my laptop were erased, and the photos I've used for this inn------------hundreds.  No, I did not have backup copies. Ouch. But, it's not the end of this world.

     I was out of communication with you on Wednesday and most of today, but we survived and are connected once again.  I hope you got a chuckle out my story about Ellie in my previous posting.

     I will reply to comments, starting tomorrow.  Today was a tough work day. The sessions were intense, leaving me drained.

 My Gratitudes for Today: 
1.  I'm writing again. My laptop is back in action.
2.  Rest is on tap for tomorrow, I'll try to sleep in.
3.  I'll cycle tomorrow. Wednesday I rode 23 miles, taking my computer to Union City.

How About You?  
What three gratitudes do you have for today?  

Wednesday, July 17

Meeting a New Friend. She Was Completely Undressed At the Time, Revisited ...................7/17/13

Try to bear patiently with the defects and infirmities
of others, whatever they may be, because you also
have many a fault which others must endure. 
 Thomas à Kempis,  (Photographer's caption)
      Hello, how is everyone?

I just got in from a trip to San Rafael where I met with others regarding business and finances. Afterwards, a friend, prepared an unexpected meal in Novato.  We had a nice time, fulfilling in more ways than one.

      But, little did I know that I was about to meet an unabashed friend of hers that would parade around, undressed.  Usually, hairy females I'm not drawn to.  With this new friend I was.  And how.  In this case, there were reasons that drew attention.

Monday, July 15

Life Is Good, When We Don't Live It By Our Power Alone 7/15/13

    Hey, how are you?

My eyes droop, my brain aches and my body is worn out, but, in a good mood, I remain.  Today was interesting.  Mondays have gone from a day off to my busiest day. Often, I decompress on Tuesdays, being exhausted from what transpires on Monday.

    Life is terrific.  I met with someone today who was depressed.  But he was down in a way I haven't seen in a long time.  It was fascinating noticing how effortlessly I felt like it was my job to make him feel better.  Detaching was important, if I wanted to maintain serenity and joy.

    Applying what I tell others---I was responsive to, but not responsible for this individual's feelings.  Easily, I could have been drawn to this negative emotional vortex encountered in the afternoon.  He was reminded that his desire to get healthier had to be stronger than my desire to help.  To have it any other way, would be codependency on my part.

My Gratitudes for this Fine Evening,
1.  I found my cyclometer!   My life is complete.  As far as I'm concerned, if my cycling isn't measured, it didn't happen. (Don't try to understand.)  I love measuring progress.  I'm ecstatic I have it.   Ya ay!

     I was distraught yesterday, thinking this device was long gone.
Downtown Niles. It's four blocks long.
 Don't blink or you'll miss it.
2.  I rode with Theresa yesterday. We encircled the small town where I grew up. Between a channel on the right and a lake on the left, we rolled around where I used to haunt as a youth.  It had been more than thirty years since I rode a bike in this town.  Sharing this moment with a friend was marvelous.

As a kid I climbed this hill and would eat lunch from
 a paper bag while sitting on this cement sign.  I'd climb
over this bump and venture into the countryside of Sunol. 
    I showed her the homes I lived in, the old jail from the cowboy days and parts of town where Charlie Chaplin lived and filmed his silent films, the ones that made him renowned.  In my boyhood town, downtown is only four block long.  To this day, there still isn't a signal light.  But this place made me, me, creating the small-town, midwestern personality and concern for people that I have.  I love the place.

3.  Memories flooded back. Remembrances of childhood chums danced within my head as I rolled through Niles.  When I'm not so tired, I may rework this post with more details.

4.  Afterwards, we rode six miles to the Century 25 Theater in Union City, catching a comedy.  If felt good laughing and sharing this communal event with all those sharing the same darkened room with flickering lights, including my cycling companion who hails from the Island City, too.

5   I love life.  It's treating me well.  I'm thankful for having my voice, knowing a loving God and the emotional strength derived from support I get from my Balcony People and the principles that allow me to see life clearly, making the most out of it.

6.  I'm speaking at two events soon.  I love doing so.  It's my first love, in terms of service.  At one event I was asked to talk on overcoming anger with compassion and spirituality.  A great topic that is in keeping with my interests and experience.  I can't wait.

7.  I look forward to my future with eagerness.  I am strong because I'm not lving my life by my strength alone.  I rely upon a Power Greater Than Myself who does for me what I can't do for myself. And, I'm very grateful He does.

8.  Tomorrow, a son and I head off to Piedmont.  We're meeting someone who is a provost at the university I attended.  She may help him get into U.C. Berkeley's graduate business school.  Boy, do I love this son, as well as my other two. 

     We'll drop by Fentons, too, afterwards.  Am I glad.   It's a terrific ice cream parlor that has lines even at midnight. What is concocted within this place is heavenly.  The portions are ginormous; the place has been around for 119 years and if you eat there, you'll know why it will last another 119 years.

How About You?
What are your three gratitudes for today?  Please share them.  Adding to the positivity of this inn  happens, when you do.

Good night. I'm tired.  I need to hit the hay.    

Sunday, July 14

Looking Back .....7/14/13

      Good morning,

Yesterday, was an anniversary for this inn.  Yep, this place is still a youngster, a little over two years old.  Much has happened in

Friday, July 12

A Full Week

   Good evening,

Have you missed me?  The past few days I've vacationed from my duties as innkeeper.  So hectic was this week that I've crashed when arriving at home each night

My Gratitudes:
1.  I met with the board of directors who oversee my work, yesterday.  A good time was had.  The result is having greater clarity about the direction of my business and the vision we have for it.
2.  I'm helping my son as he's making inroads into going to graduate school. I know key people who work at the U.C. Berkeley Haas School of Business, where he wants to attend. I'm arranging for him to meet them, this upcoming Tuesday.
3.  I rode my bike plenty this week. Cycling is helping me get fitter, sleep better and make time for me.
4.  This evening, I played Pit, a fun game, with friends. We had plenty of fun, laughter and a three hours of bonding.
5.  This week I spent time with my oldest son. I love him a lot. Our times together meet my need for connection, support, love and mutual respect. I'm fortunate having amazing sons.
6.  Wednesday I cycled for a sixteen miles with a friend. Was it lovely. The view was crisp, clear. The air was scrubbed by a bracing wind. Visibility was thirty miles.

    Even though the ride was amazing, the connection with my cycling buddy was even better.

How About You? 
What are your three gratitudes for today?

Tuesday, July 9

Expressing Our Voice: A Great Antidote for Depression, Revisited 7/9/13

Image: "Scotland: Ben Nevis With His Hat On" by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted photograph.
 Good afternoon, 
I have free time and here I am. Doing laundry today is something I'm looking forward to.  That sounds weird to you, you say?

        I appreciate the sense of accomplishment I get when involved

Sunday, July 7

Recapping the Week: Highs and Lows, What Were Yours for Last Week? 7/7/13

     Good evening everyone,

I'm back, after putting in 22 miles on my bike today, this, after working a full day.  I was exhausted, before rolling along the San Francisco Bay shoreline with a friend this evening, upon arriving in Alameda.  Occasionally, my work does that to me, I get

Saturday, July 6

Resiliency: Embracing Negative Reality. Ridding Self-Defeating Thoughts. Seeing Our Emotional & Spiritual Bankruptcy 7/6/13

      How is everyone?

This week has been challenging.  Today, I'm facing unpleasant circumstances. So, what is there to be grateful about, when life is tough?  How about this:

1.  I am not my circumstances.  Even though things may at times look bad, that doesn't mean they are.  A positive outcome is

Wednesday, July 3

An Unusual Week 7/6/13

The sky reflects my mood  But, it is lovely, isn't it? 
This and That

     This week has been most unusual, in an unpleasant way, sorry to say. This inn was burglarized. Someone accessed this inn, erasing

Tuesday, July 2

Calmness in the Eye of the Emotional Storm, Part II, Revisited. Triumphing Over Stress ........7/2/13

I wrote this nine months ago. Today's topic is important, especially for those going through stress.  Let me hear from you.

      The past few months have been a inspiring time of personal growth and learning.  More importantly, its been a time where I've seen the value of


     I'm sorry to say that someone burglarized the inn.  Somehow, they emptied the contents of my longest post, Buddy of Mine, a series of four posts woven together with a special chapter written just for that page, "A Loyalty Lesson," along with the photos and graphics.



    I'll be honest with you, that page still brought a tear to my eye, each time I read it. I loved Alexander the Grey(t) so.  Unfortunately, I don't have a copy of the extra chapter or of some of the photos. I'll try cobbling it together, when I have time.

    I'm sad and surprised someone would do that.  I've written 699 entries. It looks like I will need to save them, elsewhere.


    The good new is that this place had 7,000 visitors in July and it looks like this month the numbers may be higher, much higher.

    Welcome to the new guests.  Thank you, for dropping by.  I hope this cozy place in cyberspace meets your need for peace, ease and encouragement

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.