Saturday, March 30

Ruminations About Easter and Emotional Vampires .....3/30/13

    Good evening everyone,

How are you?  I'm bumping this up.  The Innkeeper is taking a break tonight.  I wrote this last Easter.

     As always, please take what you like and leave the rest.

     What a lovely day tomorrow will be.  Seeing others dressed up for the Easter holiday while attending church will be welcomed change of routine.

     Today, I reflected on this holiday.   I wrote a bit about Easter, yesterday.  You can find that post here.  With loved ones I will be tomorrow.
My Gratitudes This Saturday Evening
1. The message of Easter.   It's amazing how this holiday has evolved.  Nope, tomorrow is not about
Easter bunnies.  Sorry.
2.  Like Easter, I celebrate an emotional and spiritual resurrection birthed from deathly, dark moments.  I'm grateful I know hope, vibrancy and excitement for this life of mine.  Ten years ago, that wasn't the case.
3. I appreciate I didn't stay emotionally or situationally stuck, when I experienced abuse.
As a young man, I was mired in despair, yes me, the positive innkeeper.  Now, I'm thankful for living by principles  (and here, too) that help me transcend difficult circumstances, people and emotions.
4. I'm thankful for no longer being a moth, drawn to the flame of unhealthy people, individuals who would consume my emotional strength, if I let them.
     The scarey thing is that abusers smell us through lead.  Yes, lead.  That's how dangerous they are. The good thing is that recovery is also apparent.  Those types who at one time mistreated me now leave me alone. They sense my personal strength and the conviction I have for my boundaries.
     We do not reflect our growth or recovery through our words and overt behavior.  We reflect it, or the lack of it, with every breath we take, by how we stand, hold our shoulders and how we smile, among other means.
One source of gratitude: staying away from emotional vampires!
5. I'm glad I detect emotional bullies, manipulators, narcissists and non-mutual friends for who they are: emotional vampires, even if they smile and use charm when addressing me.  For more about this subject, please read here.
      It was embarrassing when I had to explain to others when I got double puncture wounds---psychological hickeys from emotional vampires. I no longer  need to wear turtleneck sweaters, hiding the marks of abuse received from others.  Which makes me thankful for.... the next gratitude.
6. I'm grateful for character discernment.  It allows me to relate with people who have my back, who love me unconditionally and provide support, when needed.  Knowing the difference between safe and unsafe people allows me to not accept unacceptable behavior, and informed the must haves and can't stands that make my boundaries.
7. I'm thankful for my voice.
     Of course, I'm not talking about my vocal chords.  As a child, I wasn't allowed to express my feelings or point of view.  Who I was, was suppressed.  Now, I say what I mean, mean what I say but not say it meanly. I now can stand in my power while not standing again my fellows.
8.  I rejoice in the value of exercise.
      It is an amazing stress reducer.  I sleep better, feel better and it contributes to my overall health when I exert this body.  Riding my bike is fantastic.
9.  I appreciate community.
     In-depth conversations, interacting and caring for others, floats my boat.  I enjoy these qualities in this inn.  Yep, I do.
     More importantly, I know genuine relationships with in-the-flesh friends.  We play cards, share meals, listen to live music, go hiking, biking and go for walks.  I'm a lucky innkeeper.
How About You?
1. What characterological resurrections are you experiencing in your life?
2. What helps to get you out of being stuck?  Any principles or actions you take, that make it easier for you to move out of the morass of difficult moments?  Please share.
3. Can you describe some of the emotional vampires in your life?
4. What are qualities do you like in your personal community?  I'm always open for ways to deepen mine.


Optimistic Existentialist said...

I hope you had a happy Easter Pablo. And also, happy Opening Day!!!

Pablo said...

Thank you, Keith, for your kind thoughts. I always appreciate your positivity-----it's exactly what we need in this inn!

How are you doing in school?

Anonymous said...

Dear Innkeeper,
I loved your fourth gratitude. I'm learning to stubbornly think of my emotional well being first. I'm using legal means to protect myself from an emotional vampire. I will continually and gently remind myself that what I need and want for myself is perfectly acceptable. God is with me. It isnt easy, but he's making my challenge just enough for me to heal and get stronger. God knows exactly what its doing. Jesus loves me for who I am, and he appreciates who I AM. I know in my heart he does. I know his heart, too. I know what this is all about. I can't put into words, but I'm aware.
Happy Easter, Pablo.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.