Wednesday, March 27

Beauty Born From Struggle .......3/27/13

 "All growth depends upon activity.  There is no development physi-cally or intellectually [or characterologically] without  effort, and effort means work."                Calvin Coolidge

      Good evening,

I'm getting back on track, sorta.  The past two weeks have been
a challenge, but all for my good.  How are you?

     Today, I rested, studied and was with friends.  It was the tonic needed.  Cycling didn't happen, though.  Work consumed my day, too.  But, it was a less demanding day----by design.  I'm still recovering.  More about that in a moment.

     Let me tell you about time I had with my oldest son.  Spontaneously, I invited him over to Alameda last Friday morning.  To my surprise, he called me by midday, saying yes.  We shared dinner while he regaled me with the goings on the job he got after graduating from college last June.

     This son  I love. (As I do my other two sons).   For an hour and twenty-nine minutes he described, in detail, his work.  He's on a huge learning curve while contributing to the company's success.

     I was happy peppering him with more than twenty-five questions.  He enthusiastically informed me about the nuances of his work.  After one-and-a-half hours, I asked if I could talk about what was going on with me.

     "Fine," he said.  I told him about three devastating issues that had hammered me, the past two weeks.  I also spoke about amends, something I've done and still need to do.

    (That's why I posted on this subject, yesterday.  Many have read it.  Within one day, it's become the most popular post for this week and month.)

      I was glad sharing with him my response to the issues that recently sucker punched me.  My reaction was contrary to how I was raised.  Am I glad.


      I am thrilled I'm moving beyond negative generational legacies.  I have more serenity, ease and emotional safety.  More importantly, my life is congruent with my values.  I'm living with integrity.

      I'm glad for time invested in my personal growth, learning, applying principles that help me surmount vulnerabilities.  But, it has come with cost.  I am responding to recent changes.  My life will not be the same. And I imagine, it will all be for the better.

      But nothing good or valuable comes easily.

       "Kalepa ta kala."

      It means, in Greek, that anything that is beautiful or excellent, can only be arrived through struggle, effort.

      After dinner my son and I ventured to Tucker's Ice Cream Parlor, on Park St. in Alameda,  in business since 1941.  It was my first time.  Wow.  My son enjoyed his root beer float.  I am lucky, I enjoy open, intimate, warm, encouraging conversations with my sons.

      Following dessert, we spent time in his car, conversing.  He kindly allowed me to read from four different books----if you don't know me by now----I always carry them.  When the clock reached midnight, we prayed, hugged one another and parted until next time.

      Pablo Jr. has a girlfriend.  He's popular and has many friends.  He was exhausted after a long week at work.  Yet, Friday, he spent the evening eating at Juanita's, having ice cream and talking with me.

      I luxuriated in the closeness, companionship, communication and openness we shared.  And yes, he did not open up and look at his iPhone, not even once.  How could I not have an Attitude of Gratitude?

My Gratitudes for Wednesday:
1.  I made time to get perspective regarding what's been going on in my life, including my emotions being belted three times.
2.  I laughed today while with my son.  It's great not being serious and having fun.
3.  I met with friends this evening. We had an intimate conversation free from advice giving. The transparency present was healing to the soul.
4.  I had dinner with a lovely woman tonight.
5.  I have treasured memories of time with my oldest son last Friday.
6.  God loves me.  His tangibly embraces me through my family and dear friends.
7.  I rested today. I was conscious of my welfare. It's easy, if I'm not careful, to take care of others and neglect myself.
8.  I'm connecting with you.  For several weeks this month I did not have a computer.

How About You?
What are three gratitudes you have for today?


Anonymous said...

Hi Pablo :o),

it's so nice to hear that a father and a son spet some good time together.
You're so right,beauty comes with struggle.Change within ourselves is very much possible,but it takes hard work.I'm working hard right now on so many levels.What I find most chalenging is to go on after I bumped into a rock in my soul.You know,when your new self meets with your old self.Not that there are only bad things in an old self,but when crashing into a rock (the actual bed things) it really becomes difficult to continue.Yet it's a must to continue :)!

Happy Easter...

Optimistic Existentialist said...

You and your son seem to have an incredible bond. That is such a refreshing and heartwarming thing. Have a great Easter Pablo.

Pablo said...

Hi Jasmina,

Great to see you back! You have my support. I agree with you: perseverance is key, when we want to overcome the challenges we face.

It's also important to havin good, mature, emotionally healthy friends who are discerning. Relying upon them and God help us get over the humps of life. I know, from personal experience.

Wishing you a great Easter, too!

Pablo said...

Hi there, Keith,

I'm so happy to have solid relationships with my sons. It helps that I respect each of them, profoundly and I get out of their way. The best thing I can do is simply be available for them, letting them know how much I love them.

Keith, great seeing you back. I finally have one of my laptops working.

May your time with your family this Easter weekend be special. Have fun with your best friend---your sister!

Vanessa Higgins said...

What a treasured life you lead. I love reading about, the stories lift me up. I've started having a closer bond with my parents and life feels richer. I like that you asked him 25 questions, it shows how interested in his life you are. So sweet!

Pablo said...

Dear Vanessa,

I enjoy your visits. You must be happy, connecting with your folks, having more closeness with them.

My main job as a father is encouraging and supporting my sons. They don't need my judgment, nor would I want to do that. They are wonderful young men. They are proof of what happens when I get out of the way.

May you have a terrific weekend!

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.