How was your day? I'm getting up early tomorrow, so I have little time tonight to devote to
this evening's post. Soon, I need to hunker down, and sleep.
With most of what I share in this inn, I re-work it. Clear writing requires effort; spontaneity alone does not suffice.
I'd recommend checking out any post submitted, the following day. It is as likely as the sun rising tomorrow morning that you'd see a more in-depth version of the original post. Just saying......
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Dealing With DisappointmentDid you notice that Tuesday, I shared in this post I encountered a big-time disappointment? It was a surprise requiring time to process, emotionally and mentally. I continue working on this issue.
What did I learn from this upsetting news? I am emotionally maturing. Wow.
I shall take care of me. Communicating the disappointment and irritation I feel with the perturbing person will happen soon enough. Sharing my dismay----their lack of candor and transparency is making an amends to me. I don't tolerate unacceptable behavior.
The unpleasant revelation unfolded last week. It makes me uncomfortable relating with this person. The amazing music from the symphony created by our budding friendship screeched to a hideously sounding and unexpected halt as the needle of unexpected truth dug across the LP of our relationship.
The lack of honesty is troubling, frustrating. S/he was not forthright. I do not like being misled. Deceit and sins of omission are as welcome as a blister on my foot, the day before running a marathon.
Perspective bred from ten years of intense personal growth, I am grateful for. I'm thankful for holding all new relationships with an open hand. Am I glad.
I appreciate discovering this person's nature during the month-and-a-half we've been relating, rather than years later. I'm glad my Pablo Piper People Picker is healthy, giving me needed perspective.
What I wrestle with is knowing that it's important to accept the bad, along with the good. No one is perfect. It's also important having clarity, honesty, integrity in any relationship. That didn't happen with this person. There's the quandary. More to be revealed, when I have more time.
How About You?
How do you know when to let go of a relationship? For me, I don't care for deceit. I'd love hearing your thoughts
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5 comments:
Dear Innkeeper,
Wow, what an unconscionable, run-away roller-coaster ride this person strapped you into! It is never fair, right or humane to string another's heart along; for any reason!
My Gratitudes for Thursday (2-28) are;
1. That I could have the "courage to change" the nature of the live-at-home relationship of our #2 son, when he violated his and our boundaries, requiring relocation back to rehab. He was not expecting a one-way ride there, but it was high-time to release him to God, and the process of rebuilding his life, himself, in a safe, structured, faith-based environment with those who have been there and know exactly what he needs.
2. That I could feel hopeful, relief-release, tranquility, serenity and liberation from our co-dependence, enabling his rut, and begin to reclaim our life, family and marriage.
3. That my wife and I could have a highly effective session with our mentor last night, and leave with tools ("shoe-leather") and a clear action plan for moving forward.
4. For the united front; that all in our home are on the same page of ending the cycle of co-dependency and enabling another's disease.
5. That our #4 son and his musician friends were inspired and going forward with their vision to build a recording studio in our backyard; breaking ground this weekend!
6. That we clarified boundaries and expectations with our #3 son, and that his "fog" can lift, and he can regain his academic and life focus and goals.
7. That the mysterious ways of the My Higher Power(s) are in play, and healing and enriching our lives, one day at a time.
Dear Innkeeper,
My Saturday, March 2 Gratitudes are...
1. Our son is finally choosing to seek healing on his own; as it should be.
2. Returning to work tomorrow morning at 5:00 AM, after a two month hiatus! Ouch! I'm sure it is a bit easier each day back, but having had a taste of retirement...
3. To see Best Picture, "Argo" with wife and a close friend last Friday.
4. To visit my 89 year old Mom on Saturday, do her weekly grocery shopping and serve her lunch.
It's hard to have an honest relationship with people without letting expectations rise up and cloud my vision of reality. I recently experienced a good deal of disappointment but understand that I had expectations of humans who seem to not fail to disappoint! I am glad that my last 2 meetings have been on Step Three. I needed to realize that I can let the expectations go and realize that the best relationship is with my HP.
Dear Carl,
I appreciate your support. How I handled the disturbing relationship allowed me to keep as much equanimity as possible. I kept the horse of discretion before the cart of a possibly wonderful friendship. Am I glad!
I'm responding to your comment several weeks later. I apologize. For quite awhile I didn't have a computer. Thanks for your patience.
I know from other information you've shared here that your number two son left the nest, after many years being comfortable with his arrangement.
You are probably relieved that you can now apply more focus upon your other sons and your wife. I'm rooting for your success at work and for greater tranquility in your home.
Syd,
Again, I'm sorry for being so tardy in replying. For several weeks I was missing a computer---it was being repaired.
I'm in agreement with you. I've learned and am remembering to hold all relationships with an open hand. I trust God to provide me with the nurturing and safe relationships I need.
Fortunately, I have several excellent friends---but they took time to grow. I also have a few new ones that are emerging as great, too.
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