A Marvelous Weather Day

    Good evening, night owls and early birds,
I just got in. All day, I've been gone. How are you doing? I'm tuckered out.

My gratitudes for Sunday.

 1.  The weather was glorious today. I'm thankful for living in a place where the weather was in the mid seventies, there was a breeze and no humidity. Some of you guys will have to tell me what that word means. We don't experience it, in the Bay Area.
2.   I was able to do research

An Evening to Remember ..5/29

..

      I just got in from being out last night, Saturday. I had a marvelous time with friends. Tonight's post shall be brief.

My gratitudes for Saturday.

1. Fun with friends and family was my delightful experience this evening. My birthday was celebrated at my favorite place, the Fairmont Hotel.

Armida, Part I. Counting Our Blessings: A Reminder That Tomorrow or Next Month Is Not Guaranteed ................ 5/27/11

      How are you?  I'll discuss today's topic after my gratitudes.

I've been on the go for several days. Thursday, I met with friends.  Afterward, some of us took in a movie: "Thor."  My oldest son is a manager at a twenty-five-screen theater, and I get to see first-run movies for free.  It makes me a popular date. :->  (Free large bag of popcorn and soda too, if desired.)

My Gratitudes Before Saturday Rolls Around:

1. I rested today. Nice. I stayed home this evening; I'm gearing up for Saturday, which will be eventful and carry on until late.
2. I visited with my oldest son Thursday. I'm proud of him: he's working hard: he's completing college, works a job, and now has been elected as president of the local chapter of the American Marketing Association. (He's a business major.)

     The honesty and openness we share are heartening. It was good hearing my son laugh while we visited.  Stress is an ongoing part of his life.  Sharing light-hearted moments was good for both of us.  Connecting and discussing any issue is easy for us; our bond makes my heart smile.
3. I purchased a book to replace one of the seven vital books I lost recently.  I've been eking out my studies for my personal growth.  I now have three; I borrowed two others from a friend.

      The ones lost are irreplaceable. Hundreds of cross-references I hand wrote in each.  300-500 added entries to the indexes I also had in them. Not to mention my marginalia, which was microscopic and copious. I've studied these books daily for years, close to a decade. They each had more than three thousand+ hours of notes in them. They are what contribute the bulk of what you hear from me when you visit me here.

     These books stirred my personal growth, offered wise perspectives, and provided inner healing and clarity.  I suffer not having them.  It's challenging opening up "naked" unmarked books. They're not the same.  Insights captured over the years and embedded in them are gone. It's hard starting all over again.  But...........
4. I'm glad that I'm gradually rebuilding my library's vital, integral core.

Making the Most Out of Our Lives
Tomorrow is Not Guaranteed
       Seeing friends last night was a great way to conclude the week. They're beautiful people. What I like best is that everyone is emotionally healthy.  They've worked through their issues.  I value their warmth, insight, and kindness.

      There was a shocker to this week's gathering.  One person blithely shared she recently visited the doctor. Armida fell and thought she had cracked vertebrae. The hospital did an MRI, finding out that was the least of her worries: she's severely riddled with cancer. This voracious disease is in her bones, lymph nodes, and lungs.  It may travel to her brain. They've given her 3-6 months to live.

       Tears streamed down my face as she calmly shared the news with a bright, sincere smile. Gosh.  In shock, unable to comprehend what she said, I was. "This could not be??" I thought. What she shared was incongruent with her calm and positive demeanor.

        Speaking with her, one-on-one, later, culminated in giving Armida a big hug----a request of hers. Visiting her, bringing mutual friends, I intend on doing.  I'll act soon, while she's mentally clear, and even after when she isn't. Guitar I'll bring. Music comforts the soul, don't you agree?  Her illness strikes an emotional chord; I've been assisting someone who's recovering from cancer surgery on her leg since last July.  Also, my dad died from prostate cancer not long ago.

        We want to let our loved ones know we love them; tomorrow is not guaranteed.
How About You? 
1. Who is someone you feel strongly prompted to visit?  My encouragement is to do it.
2. What has been a big shock you've experienced lately?  If you feel comfortable sharing it with us, that would be great. If not, you may want to get it out of your system by sharing this disturbing news with a caring, empathetic friend.  It works. I know from personal experience
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Update: 8/4/11 My dear friend Armida died Monday, 8/1/11, at 12:55 p.m., surrounded by family and loved ones.  I was fortunate enough to serenade her twice this month.  Most recently, Sunday, the night before her departure.

        Armida's irrepressible spirit left an indelible imprint on this writer. Her death is my loss and that of those who knew her. You can read the story about the innkeeper serenading her, her dancing eyes, and an unexpected but comforting guest here.

Wealthy Beyond Measure: Stress Free, Too .5/22/11

“Abundance does not consist in how

 much we have, but in how much

 we enjoy.”

 

     Good evening, everyone,
How was your weekend? Yesterday, my sons, a friend, and I were immersed in nature all day. At Sunol Regional Wilderness Park, near Niles Canyon, south of Pleasanton.  My sons, along with a friend I've known for fourteen years, and I hiked. For more than two hours, alternatingly

A Tasty Meal of a Different Kind

My meal while visiting with my son

          It's still Wednesday here, on the Left Coast.

 I'm posting my gratitudes for today:

1. Lunched with my oldest son, today.  (He and I share the same name of my great grandfather, grandfather and two of my grandfather's sons.)  It's a joy seeing the terrific young man he's become.  From 2:15 p.m. until 4:45 p.m we visited and took pleasure in our midday meal.

    Our food was more than that of the morsel variety. We imbibed in the goodness taking place in our lives, we dined on joyful memories as a family. The cornbread bread of gratitude, baked with the warmth of  hope for our family's future, was tasty.  We finished off our time with the dessert of  laughter, generously sprinkled with the love we share for one another.
 
     We stood by our cars, as we were about to part, completing our visit with heartfelt prayer. The time sped by.  But the memories of today's lunch will be etched in my heart, forever.   Am I lucky, or what?

2. Tomorrow, Thursday afternoon, I'm visiting with my best friend, Alan. I mentioned him in yesterday's post. I'm thankful for the stability of this friendship. We've been friends since we were twelve. I'm thankful for Alan's discernment, wisdom, spirituality and kindness. It great to go back in time with someone who's known me during times of weal and woe, who's been there for me, and I, for him, in our times of need. It's restorative to be with someone with whom I enjoy a shared history of several decades.

3.  I relaxed tonight. I slowed down.  I stayed home, an unusual occurrence for me. I took time to take life in and bask in its blessings. I reflected upon fond memories of time enjoyed with a remarkable young man today. I also thanked God for allowing me to see a dear friend tomorrow, at 1:00 p.m.

          Have a terrific Thursday, may it be a great and grateful day, for you.
                                                                    
                                                                 The Innkeeper

Courage: Speaking Truth with Kindness & Courtesy (also, Seeking God's Will Amidst the Clutter of Life's Demands.) .....4/19/11

Thank God for beautiful flowers!

       My gratitudes for today, while it is yet Tuesday:

1. Someone strayed from general principles that are foundational for Al-Anon Family Groups.  Unfortunately, her influence disrupted the unity among members. I spoke with her privately this evening, after a meeting we attended.  When I finished, she wrinkled her nose and said, "Thank you."

      It was clear she was annoyed.  That's okay.  I'm glad I spoke calmly and courteously.  How she chooses to respond is up to her.  I spoke from my perspective, how I felt about her actions.

     I mentioned the need for unity, harmony and fellowship.  After I shared my concerns, I let it go.   Her response was not my focus. Time will tell.  The results are in God's hands.  I "Let Go and Let God."

     I'm thankful for the courage I exercised this evening, this person has an aggressive personality.

3. Cooperation is always great.  Healthy, considerate communication invigorates my soul.  I'm glad I spoke my truth with this woman after the meeting. It's important for me to understand others and to be understood.

4. Early this morning, before the day got started, I listed my priorities.

        I did so, prayerfully.  I submitted these tasks before God, asking for His guidance.  It's a great,  getting many tasks accomplished.

       What was more satisfying, was operating from a perspective seeking His Will.  What I did today was not a result of hustling, making things happen, in my own strength alone.

"The mind of man plans his ways but the Lord directs his (man's) steps."   Prov. 16:9

"Commit your ways to the Lord and your plans shall be established."    Prov. 16:3

Time With Family

       I'm meeting with my oldest son tomorrow, for lunch.  It's overdue.   Nothing is greater than investing in family.  I pray God blesses our time.

       My son is a gift from God----a considerate young man.  He's working hard, finishing his degree at a nearby university.  I'm convinced the best thing I can do for my sons is to let them know how proud I am of them, love them and be available, if they need me.

5.  I appreciate the time my son and I will have to connect

6.  One of my best friends I'll see this Thursday.

     I was his best man when he got married and he was mine, when I got married. We've known each other since the 7th grade. We went through school and sports together.  Meeting with him allows me to enjoy mutuality, terrific conversation, deep love for each other, stability, and the support that only an old friend provides.

     Thank you, everyone, for dropping by.  May I ask you to share your gratitudes?  I know many of you are still getting used to this place which is essentially a gratitude journal for Blogger's cyber community.  Don't you think now would be a good time to exercise your gratitude muscles?  I hope and believe so.
     

Empathy: A Doorway to Stronger Connection (plus more questions from the innkeeper)

       Did you know it's usually not the best idea, sympathizing with a person who's struggling or depressed?  You didn't expect this friendly writer to say that, did you?   I've learned awhile back, that usually, the best thing I can offer a distressed person, is empathy. What's the difference?   It's the difference between somewhat connecting with that person, when using sympathy, versus a strong, more sensitive connection with that individual when I empathize.

     When I'm with someone who's going out of their mind with anxiety, depression, or any other negative emotion, the last thing they need is sympathy from me.  (This post is not going in the direction where you may think it is.  I'm not suggesting that we ask others to tough it out, like John Wayne.) When I sympathize with another, I'm sharing my story, how I relate with their problem, their issue. I'm prone to say something like:

"I know I was really mad, when something like that happened to me....."

     The problem with this approach is that this statement's focus is on me. That's not what the upset person needs. I find empathy is preferred, especially if they are emotionally fragile.

     I usually use the following way of connecting with the troubled person:

      "Are you frustrated that the results you expected did not pan out? 
        I know you really hoped for a better outcome." 

     I'm just giving one scenario, demonstrating empathy, but I think you get the idea. The focus is on them, and them alone. I get out of the way.  The don't need a story about me.  I believe when we give of ourselves to others, we, in turn, receive. I don't count on it, nor is it my motive, and the results may not be immediate.

         "Cast your bread upon the waters and
            in many days it shall return to you."
                                              Ecc. 11:1.

      We'll enjoy a song in our heart when we partake in supportive, caring fellowship. We'll find ourselves with an attitude of gratitude: one of the deepest joys is connecting with family, friends, co-workers and others in a meaningful, empathic way.

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 Welcome to the reader from Malaysia.  Thank you for dropping by several times this week!

Kelly, welcome to the Attitude of Grattitude Inn. What are you doing to encourage yourself?
PCF, you've my prayers as you are about to embark on a new journey this summer. You've my support. When we visit, your wisdom and grace impresses me. I want to be like you when I grow up. Please let me know how I can support you.
Phyllis, thanks for posting your gratitudes. I enjoy our correspondence and I'm happy to hear about the success you're enjoying regarding your goals. Has your walking buddy dropped weight? By the way, what's her name?

    By the way, please continue sharing your gratitudes: you're investing in yourself.  It's hard to be frustrated with self or others if you have an attitude of thanksgiving.