Wednesday, June 19

The Source For Personal Growth, And, Being Silent Doesn't Mean We Are Afraid. Boring Isn't Boring. It Means We or Others Are Healthy

     Good evening,

I just arrived at home after being with friends.  When it was over, some of us continued hanging out, heading over to the refurbished Juanita's Mexican restaurant.  Hello to Cheryl.  She said she was dropping by tonight to check out this cozy place in cyberspace for the first time.

My Gratitudes for Tonight:
     I spent time connecting with
clients, outside of our sessions.  I spoke on the phone with several this afternoon hearing reports about their progress.  Later, I saw two clients at an Al-Anon Family Group meeting in Alameda.

1.  It's heartening seeing those I help grow in their strength and confidence.  It is the result of applying healthy principles to surmount life's difficulties and disappointments.

The Cause For Growth
Intimacy Thriving In A Safe Environment

 2.  I appreciate the caring, belonging and community shared during tonight's meeting. We talked about Tradition Six, not letting the bling of life to distract us from our primary spiritual aim: our personal recovery from codependency.  It was terrific, the intimacy we enjoyed as a group.  Closeness happens when we can be authentic and vulnerable and receive unconditional acceptance.

     A recovering alcoholic who attended tonight's meeting----a "double winner"----asked me, after the meeting, why some who were there were afraid to speak up.  I disagreed.  I informed her that many of us are not driven to fill up every second of silence with conversation.  I mentioned that many were quiet because they were processing what others shared.

     I also said that boring is good.  That it's not boring, but healthy.  We don't need constant drama, verbiage, or action, nor a constant need to binge on adrenaline.  Peace, silence and serenity is good, too, I mentioned.

3.  I was happy sharing with this woman that silence, tranquility, spiritual communion and ease is just as valuable---if not more---than being in a voluble group.

4.  I was thrilled hearing two clients share the tremendous growth they are experiencing, because recovery is a part of their healing process.  Like a proud parent, I beamed as they expressed their growing freedom from the disease of codependency.

     They both mentioned they are learning how to take care of their needs.  No longer are they automatically putting the desires of others before tending to their dreams, wants, needs and feelings.  They are becoming in tune with themselves.  When that happens depression is lessened.  Depression is a silent internal scream telling us that we are not meeting our needs.

5.  I'm happy making my life count.  I enjoy tending to roses that have been burned and browned by strife.  It's a privilege seeing clients drop petals wilted by abuse and self-loathing and bloom anew, like they have never have before.

How About You? 
1. Are there areas where you see yourself growing stronger?
2. Where are you able to experience authenticity?
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Optimistic Existentialist said...

I definitely feel that I'[m growing stronger in the areas of introspection and understanding more about myself.

Theresa Elander said...

Today I talked with a friend. After caring for her mother for several years, she is putting her into a memory care facility. I listened as she expressed grief and fear over her mother's declining health. I felt vulnerable as I listened and offered the support that I could. It is a hard place to be. It was a very authentic conversation.

Vanessa Higgins said...

I am so much more insightful. I don't know if this iSight will help to protect me from men who break my heart but it is helping me through my mental illness. Health matters, the mind matters and for goodness sake I matter. Lets Skype next week some time...Wednesday the 26th? 7. At night?

Carl H said...

Dear Innkeeper,

Tonight I am grateful...

1. That though the Spurs lost, the Heat's players gave the Spurs coach and players big hugs after they won. This showed much class and good sportsmanship.

2. For a less stressful driving day at work, an earlier return home, and time to catch up with #4 son while eating dinner during the NBA Finals.

3. That I could let go of the fact that we have been out of paper towels in the kitchen for the last several days, and yet no one has taken time to get some new ones. Let it begin .be grateful I have a job and some money to pay for them!

Pablo said...

Hi Keith,

Thanks for dropping by! Is there anything that's helping you to become more self-reflective and understand yourself?

I always enjoy dialogue with the guests to this inn. I appreciate your answer.

Pablo said...

Dear Theresa,

Thanks for contributing to this inn. Do you feel worn out, after having such an intense conversation?

Kudos to you for supporting your friend during a vulnerable time in her life! May you have a terrific Friday.

Pablo said...

Hi there, Vanessa.

I'm so glad you've been dropping by the past few day! For the time being, we are even in the same time zone.

Regarding Skyping, Wednesday I go to a meeting. Thursday is a possibility, however. Are you free in the evening, like seven p.m.? Let me know. If so, it's a deal.

In what way have you noticed your growing insight? I'm curious.

Pablo said...

Dear Carl,

The action of the Spurs is great to hear. It's inspiring when others demonstrate kindness and consideration. Our world needs examples of harmony and mutual respect.

Thank you, for your consistent pouring out of gratitudes in this inn. You are an example for the many who drop by this inn. Your efforts mean a lot to me.

Carl H said...

Dear Innkeeper,

On this Saturday evening, I am grateful...

1. I could help a work colleague move apartments on Friday afternoon, and be treated to a surprise, 1 pound Salvadorean Burrito!

2. After a busy, non-stop, Saturday, being able to renew body and soul via a long late-afternoon nap.

3. For a quiet evening at home with my wife; sans adult sons.

4. For a bowl of her home-made chicken noodle and vegetable soup for dinner.

5. To delight in the amazing, accidental finds revealed on Antique Roadshow in Great Britian.

6. To receive a long-overdo, home-haircut at the skilled hands of mi esposa, while watching "You've Got Mail" for the upteenth time...

Pablo said...

Dear Carl,

That's one big burrito. Wow. You are not only eating South-of-the-border food, you also enjoy taking siestas.

Thank you, for sharing what makes your heart sing--gratitudes great and small.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.