Thursday, June 13

A Special Day and Not Accepting Unacceptable Behavior .........6/13/13

I'm sorry you can't join me in eating this cake.
       Good evening everyone,

Tonight, I'm worn out after a busy and intense day.

      Today is a special day.  Yep, this is the 27th month anniversary of this inn of gratitude.  My, my, time has flown as
gratitudes have flowed in this place of praise and thanks.


      Last week, I was with an intimidator.  I stopped him, cold. He tried using well-established habits that usually gets most those he relates with off balanced, making them defensive.

"It is hard to listen, when you use pressured speech," I said.  He was speaking loudly and agitatedly.  "If you express yourself with less volume, we can talk,"  I continued.

"But............." he said, the volume of his voice rising.
What I faced last week. Was it
fun. Nope, it didn't get to me. 

"I don't care," I replied, I won't tolerate you speaking this way.  If you continue, I'll leave," I said, looking calmly in his eye.

"There you go, ducking and diving," he spit out.

"Don't tell me what I'm thinking or doing.  I am your equal.  You are mine.  If we can talk respectfully towards one another, we'll talk.  However, I will not tolerate a parental tone when relating with me."


"I don't care what you think I've done, or what your objections are,  I do not deserve you speaking this way to me.  Apologize."


"Apologize,"  I said calmly.

"I'm sorry."

"I'll hear what you have to say with the understanding that, once you're done, you will listen to me.  Now, what were you saying?"

He vented his judgments, giving his spiel, justifying unacceptable behavior.  When he finished, I replied. As I spoke, he blew threw his lips like a snorting horse.

"So, when you talk, do you want me to blow through my lips, like you?"

"I just realized that I hadn't taken a breath, is all."

"I see."

     The rest of our conversation went well. We spoke, one adult to another.  A half hour later he said, "I'll avoid getting into your head (telling me what my motives are) in the future, when we talk."

     Life is all about progress, not perfection, isn't it?  One percent improvement, a day, is all I ask, and my life would be fine.

My Gratitudes for This Thursday Evening:

1.  I'm appreciate the presence of mind I have, when applying principles above dominating personalities. This is the result of much hard work and recovery.
2.  I'm thankful for not allowing others to treat me like a doormat.
3.  I'm glad I can say my no as gently as my yes.
4.  I feel good when I stand up to bullies, yet do so with kindness, courtesy and gentleness.
5.  I feel even better when I disagree with intimidators with love apples in my cheeks and a genuine smile on my face, while speaking softly, but evenly.
6.  It is terrific, standing in my power, recovery and integrity.  You can read more about that, here.
7.  I love life.  I look forward to Father's Day this Sunday. I'm happy I'll be with friends and family. We'll also play Pit----I can't wait!

How About You? 
What has been a challenging circumstance you've recently faced?
A thankful innkeeper who loves the serenity and joy I know because I’m applying healthy principles in my life, hold to my values while at the same time treating others with kindness and respect

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Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.