Saturday, June 8

A Rich Life, Part II

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."              Henry David Thoreau
    Good morning,

I conked out, upon arriving at home tonight.  I just woke up.  While wiping cobwebs from my mind, I post these gratitudes for Friday:

1.  For friendships that heal.

      I checked in on a friend today, in the middle of a busy workday.  She's recovering from an injury.  I love what the word "visit" means in Greek.  It means
attending to someone with the intent of seeing their needs and meeting them.  It's not just a social call.

     My friend needed a listening ear, love, encouragement and support.  I hope I was attentive and cared enough.  I tried.  I was happy I did an errand for her, before meeting.  It provided the excuse for our get together.

    Authentic, deep, intimate conversation provides amazing community.  We enjoyed that.  Am I a lucky man.

2.  Part of our conversation covered controversial topics not usually discussed.  I answered questions about a point of view that is scarring, limiting and causes many to be insecure and judgmental, not only towards others, but themselves.  I explained its origins were historical, not spiritual at all.

      Answers to life's vexing issues are typically complex.  They cannot be explained with a two or three sentence answer, patience is required.  My friend, more than eight times, prodded me, not letting me finish my thoughts, seeking a quick answer.  If life could be understood so simply, it would lack its richness.

      I was happy, when with my friend, that I was not externally referented.  As Thoreau reminds us, I stepped to the music I heard and did not allow myself to cheapen what I had to say by truncating it, in order to please her need for a quick answer.

3.  I faced fear today, making several business calls. The results were delightful, except for once.  With the less than pleasant conversation, I adhered to the principle that his perspective had nothing to do with me, even though I was tempted to take it personally, and would have, were it not for recovery.  How a person responds to us is a statement about them, not us.

4.  Early this morning, Stuart, my dear friend of 35 years, came to the rescue----again.  What would we do without our supportive community?  I'm thankful for friends who understand us, as no others can.

     With old friends, we can talk telegraphically, without a need for explanation.  They cherish us for who we are, not for how we appear.  I appreciate the love, humor and support this companion offered while I struggled early today.  He inspired me.  After our talk, I applied what he suggested.

     The result were immediate and astonishing.  Within the hour, I had answers to  the disturbing issues we had covered.  Wow.  I know it's easy to isolate, especially if we experienced abuse as children.  It appears safer that way.  But, we don't get our healing in isolation.  Never.
   "Welcome your needs. Shake hands with them. They are God's means for extruding us into relationship with safe people and free us from the sin of self-sufficiency."  Henry Cloud, and John Townsend, Safe People, Zondervan, Grand Rapids (1996) 67
How About You? 
What is a conversation you've had recently, where you expressed yourself without reservation, even though internally pressured to do otherwise? 

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Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.