Tuesday, June 18

Awareness, Realizing the Problem Lies Beneath our Nose, Revisited 6/18/13

Stinky stuff
     Good evening everyone,

The following I wrote August, two years ago.   Let me know your response.
      How you be?  Yesterday was a humdinger of a day, but good.  Life has been rich and full this week.  I thank God for the learning opportunities He provides.

       One of His instructions happened this week, in the laboratory of life.  I witnessed a person in denial.  And nope, that doesn't mean a big river in Egypt. (You are supposed to laugh.)

        Being unaware of areas where our character needs to grow is understandable.  Denial isn't that.  For more clarity on this subject, you can read here.  When we are actively in denial we strongly oppose areas requiring change on our part.  These areas can involve either our thinking or behavior, perhaps both.

        I've observed this woman, who----due to suffering from childhood abuse of having a perfectionistic parent-----is critical, judgmental.  She's continuing the negative legacy that was passed on to her, usually at the dinner table.

        Sadly, she's excellent at tossing cutting, derogatory, shaming comments towards those who differ with her.  Any problem, from her perspective, is the other person's fault.  Recently she's been called on this area needing improvement.  Her response?  To make like a cat and flee.

        Coming to terms with her contribution in the conflict does not interest this person.   Too bad.  For "Barbara," leaving the relationship, without resolving the issues is her response.

        That approach remedies nothing.  The results of her derision, judgment of others and lack of courtesy with those she engages, when there is a problem, follows her.  Her situation is similar to the following lines by Edgar Guest:
Like calls to like, we are met by the traits we show 
Where love will find a friend, hate will find a foe.
You'll have to use your imagination, to follow the story. You'll want
to combine the first picture with this one, to get the proper idea.
Not Noticing What's Obvious
     This person's actions jogs my memory of a story by John Maxwell in Winning Attitude (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1993).  My retelling:

     A father fell asleep on the family couch. The missus and kids decided to have fun while dad was zonked out.  Limburger cheese was rubbed under his nose; softly mashed into his mustache.

     The pungent smell awakened him.   He sniffs, "This living room stinks."   To the kitchen he goes, getting coffee.  Fully awake in that room, he smells the foul odor again.  Shaking his head he mutters, "Wow, this kitchen stinks."

      Plagued by the smell, he looks for refuge outdoors, on the front porch of his country home.  He gazes upon the land, taking in a deep breath---seeking  relief.  The outcome overwhelms him, making him gag.  Not aware of the source of his affliction he roars, "That settles it, the whole world stinks!"

 How About You?
What is an area where you are growing in awareness?

        For me, it's my need for filing.  If I don't the problem grows quickly. Another area of heightened awareness: the need for balance.

        The nature of my work is that I'm with people, all day.  Making sure to  have time,  where I invest in my personal growth and doing things that nurture me is critical.  Commuting to work with a bike builds in time that allows me to transition from my work day. It also allows me to discharge the energy built up while working with clients.
Related Post: 


Carl H said...

Dear Innkeeper,

On this Wednesday evening I am usually meeting with my mentor, and with friends. Grateful to be given the night off, I am also grateful for...

1. A robust 18 lap after-work, swim at the gym, followed by Jacuzzi soak, steam and nap poolside (with ear plugs still in to deaden ambient aqua-frolicking noisemakers).

2. A healthy, left-over, but spruced-up steak salad for dinner.

3. A nice, long, rare, review-of-our-respective days dinner chat with my "better half."

4. Sneaking some Haagan-Daaz Coffee ice cream into my small cup of post-dinner coffee...without detection!

5. Seeing my #4 son digging an electrical conduit trench out to his nearly completed backyard sound studio.

6. Today's reading in Courage to Change; June 19, page 171. It "fits me like skin" for this day and time. I won't quote it all here, but here is the opener;

"When I'm troubled by another person's behavior, a complicated situation, or a disappointing turn of events, Al-Anon reminds me that I don't have to take it personally. I'm not a victim of everything that happens unless I choose to see myself that way. I can accept what I cannot change, and change what I can."

And let me close with the quote for the day on the bottom of the same page...

"God asks no man whether he will accept life. That is not the choice. You must take it. The only choice is how." Henry Ward Beecher

A Merry Wednesday to all and to all a Good Night!

(Pray for the Spurs tomorrow night!!!)

Pablo said...

Dear Carl,

I don't know how you have the energy to do all that you do, after a long day at work. Are you seeing any outcome resulting from your workouts?

How is it for you, using recovery principles to face disappointment? Thank you, for sharing with us your gratitudes, they make this inn a more positive place!

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.