Life Is Not a Correspondence Program. (Also, Staying in the Solution) ............ ...................6/2/11

  "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it
 does empty today of its strength."

Staying In the Solution:
       The quote above reminds us of the value of being positive and optimistic.  Especially true when we are troubled.  What can be done?  What are our options, given our circum-stances?

         The best approach is to focus ----while relying upon God's strength and direction and relating with our Balcony People-----on what can be done.

         It's critical to realize there are alternatives.

        We are not helpless, hopeless victims.  Constant complaining only makes our problems more prominent and more disturbing. (Al-Anon Family Groups Inc. One Day At a Time, Virginia Beach, 75)

        We want to see how to extricate ourselves from the bogs of life.  This is staying positive.  Healthy alternatives to life's difficulties are slate stones.  They lay across the swamps of life.

         Staying present is neither fearing nor pan-icking. It is diligently applying sound princi-ples.  It's placing the slate stones of princi-ples above the weak parts of our personality.

          They allow us to move forward towards a satisfying life.  They help us to be surrounded by caring, supportive friends.  These people are our Balcony People.  When with them, we're less likely to be swal-lowed by the quicksand of despair and self-pity:

"Acting like a victim is a choice, not a destiny."     Hope For Today, p. 189

Life Is Not a Correspondence Program
Growth Occurs When We Are in Community With Others 

        I mentioned, "working with the support of our Balcony People." Life is not a correspondence program.  It's not a matter of reading helpful books, watching practical programs on PBS, and writing down our answers in a notebook that solves life difficulties.  Nope, life isn't as simple as that.

       Surrounding ourselves with emotionally and psychologically healthy others is the way to go. These are people whose talk and walk are dynamic. They know serenity and sanity, even amid life's trials.

       These individuals thrive during challenging moments.  They are known for their joy.  No upside-down smiles are found on their faces, for the most part. Positivity and resiliency are characteristic of those who succeed.  People who move forward in their lives put their arms around negative reality.

        We need psychological and emotional distance, to be honest about our frailties.  These issues are so part of us, like our nose, that we don't notice them.  Having Balcony People as a part of our personal community ensures growth.  They ask us hard questions and keep us honest.

         It's easy rationalizing unacceptable behavior: "Well, everyone else does it..." "You didn't see that person...." "He made me angry...."  Supportive, Balcony People don't enable us; they don't allow us to get away with denial, not taking responsibility for our actions.

"Open rebuke is greater than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of the enemy are deceitful."    Proverbs 27:5-6.  

     Do we want to continue with habits that really don't serve us?  I thought not.

My Gratitudes:

1. Removing clutter from my work is encouraging; I took care of details today. Doing so always provides more clarity regarding my office work.
2. I'm moving forward in my life. I'm working toward goals that will enable me to expand my business and work in a beautiful environment.
3. I saw several friends this evening.  It's nice having consistency in my life. I see these friends almost every week.
4.  I'm going to bed early tonight. I look forward to getting extra rest. I'm beat.

How About You? 

How might God, or your Higher Power, want you to put your arms around negative reality during this season in your life? 

I'd love to hear your answers.

Images: "Countryside Old Bridge" by Tim Blessed,  used by permission

Resting Before Tomorrow's Event

We'll hike out here, tomorrow. This is Sunol Regional Park

        Good evening everyone,

  How are my Silent Readers doing? Welcome to the readers from Malaysia and Germany, thanks for dropping by.  I'm posting my gratitudes before the day converts to Saturday. I've added an index to this place. I'll leave you with the following quotes.

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

This following statement motivates us to develop our network of Balcony People (if you want to know more about them click on the purple link); there are plenty of benefits

Expressing Feelings Part II 5/20/11

        It great when we express our feelings in a way that's constructive, helpful and affirming while still taking care of our needs. Ongoing practice of these skills helps if they are to become a regular part of our life.  We want to be mindful that:

      1. Often what we think of as expressing our feelings is really a judgment.  Example: " I feel you are disrespectful."   That's more a statement of what we believe

Happiness: Being Connected to Family

 

My gratitudes for this evening:

1.  It was a rare night for me: I stayed home; I'm grateful I got needed rest.
2.  I heard a terrific report from my oldest son. His presentation, that he and I worked on Monday night, went far better than expected. He was running for Vice President of Communication, for an organization. It's his first time running for office.

      My son told me the positive outcome of his presentation: the board that heard him asked him to become the President. Wow! I'm happy for him. He'll do well. He's organized by nature and gets along well with others. As a result of what he said,  a person there offered him a job that he didn't even seek!

3. I'm thankful for the closeness and companionship I enjoy with this son. I like nurturing his ambitions and supporting his efforts, being available for him. I'm humbled that my sons like it that I'm one of their Balcony Persons.

4. Delighting in life begins with family----I'm happy that I'm creating healthy, affirming, loving, new legacies for our family. These legacies are created by the way I respond and am available to my sons, not just physically, but emotionally as well. 

5. I'm thankful for color. Something that's easy to take for granted. One of my sons is color blind. It's important to remember to count my blessings.

     Alright, I'm calling it a night. Please continue to share your gratitudes. It's good knowing what's going on with you. I'm speaking to you Silent Readers, who drop by without saying a word. Go ahead and check in..

       The guy from the Left Coast,

The Vision of This Inn ....................... 5/2/11

Welcome!

      It's Monday.  

     Can you think of a better way of starting this week than breathing in gratitudes? Neither can I.  This inn will encourage as you go through the week.  Please enjoy a seat on the couch.  

      Relax from the pressures of your world.  Here you'll find hope. You'll get the support for an optimistic, staying-in-the-solution week. 

      Dwelling on life's problems only makes them loom large and more disturbing. Where is the growth in that?  Exactly.  Progress occurs when we live in community with healthy rela-tionships and avoiding those that aren't.  We're meant for good company.  You'll find that here. You sign the registry to this inn by posting gratitudes. I ask for three.  

       This inn wants to motivate. It will help you as you journey towards your goals for this month and year.  Godspeed to you.

         Please, pause from persistent petitions for your attention.  Make time to invest in yourself. Exercise your positive attitudes.  It's an excellent habit. 

“Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.”                                        William James   

         Would you like to join us and share three gratitudes?  You'll find many benefits in doing so.  Keep in mind:

All happy people are grateful. Ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to complain, but it is truer to say that complaining leads people to becoming unhappy.

There is much less envy of the rich by the poor than there is of the happy by the unhappy; of those who believe by those who don't believe.                                                             Dennis Praegner

              Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone   

                                   Gladys Bronwyn Stern 

Gratitude is our most direct line to God and the angels.  If we take the time, no matter how crazy and troubled wefeel, we can find something to be thankful for.                        Terry Lynn Taylor

 Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. 

                         William Arthur Ward

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                     What is an Attitude? 

It is the 'advance man' of our true selves.

Its roots are inward but its fruit is outward.

It is our best friend or our worst enemy.

It is more honest and more consistent than our words.

It is an outwards look based on past experiences.

It is a thing which draws people to us or repels them.

It is a never content until it is expressed. It is the librarian of our past.

It is the speaker of our present.

It is the prophet of our future.

                   John Maxwell, The Winning Attitude

         We carry our attitudes, wherever we go.  Many learned during childhood.   False beliefs like not discussing what troubles us.  Or we're to unquestioningly yield to others, allows others to control us.  

      Not a good idea, unless we want to be depressed.  It's good remembering when we turn eighteen, we're adults.  We are an equal to anyone else.   Please don't believe anyone telling you otherwise.

     Knowing our intrinsic worth prevents us from surrendering chunks of ourselves, to "keep" a relationship.  We want to reconsider the validity of our beliefs. Paradoxically, they are not necessarily inerrant.  It's up to us what attitudes we'll allow renting in the territory of our minds. Hopefully, they'll be constructive thoughts.

     Here's wishing you a terrific week!