Tuesday, July 31

Great Works Are Performed Not By Strength, But By Perseverance, Part II ................................7/31/12

 Don't wait for extraordinary [or golden] opportunities.  Seize common occasions
 and make them great. Weak men wait for opportunities; strong men make them.
                                                                                                     Orison Marden
        How are you? Did you have a good day?

The upcoming month, which starts in a few minutes will be perhaps the most challenging I've ever

Sunday, July 29

Stress: A Wonderful Way of Discharging It (Thinking isn't the answer.) .......7/30/12

Some of what I saw yesterday. Those are Canadian geese.
        Hi there,

I hope you had a swell Sunday. I did, of sorts.  I rode my bike for three hours. Exactly one and a half hours in daylight and the same amount of time in the dark.  I left my place at 7:30 p.m.
  1. "I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in." ~George Washington Carver 
        Physically, I feel

Saturday, July 28

Expressing Our Voice, Part V, Also, A Terrific Conversation and a Wonderful, Relaxing Day ......................7/28/12

At best, material success will last till the day you die; love lasts for eternity
Image: "Primeval" by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted photograph. Used by permission
       Good evening,
The day was great, relaxing, tiring and exciting. Let me tell you about it. This morning was the same deal as last week, but this time it was

Friday, July 27

I Don't Rummage In a Garbage Can for Food: The Need for Discernment .....7/27/12

      Good evening,

How was your Friday?  I felt relief, in more ways than one.  I was calmer, more than any other day this week:  One cause was

Thursday, July 26

Courage Faces Fear and Thereby Masters It, Part II. Also,Taking a Stand .............. ...................7/25/12

Faith gives us the courage to tackle the seemingly
impossible, as well as the determination to see it through.
 Image: "A Walk In the Woods" by Tim Blessed.
 All rights reserved, copyrighted photo.
      Good evening everyone,
Did you have a terrific Thursday?  I did, as much as much as is possible, while experiencing a roller coaster of a day.  It had severe dips, making me feel queasy, while working through

Wednesday, July 25

Morals Are Worth Taking a Stand: Freedom From External Referenting

"An error can never become true however many times you repeat it. The
 truth can never be wrong, even if no one hears it.".... Mahatma Gandhi
     Good evening everyone,

As I quoted recently,
"Communication from the heart is a precious expression of love. Write that letter or make that call today."
It's wonderful coming back and finding

Tuesday, July 24

Stress: Taking It Slow and Easy .....................7/24/12

There is always some good in every situation; all you have to do is look for it.

Image: "Under the Willows" by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted material. Used by permission. 
        Good morning,

I'll squeeze these comments in before it's afternoon, on the Left Coast. I hope the start of your week was good. Mine, wasn't. I know that is strange news for you to hear from me. But, I value integrity and have to be honest.  :)
My Gratitudes for Today:
1. Knowing, at the cellular level, that

Sunday, July 22

   I'm exhausted I'll conclude the story I started yesterday, soon. In the meantime, here are my gratitudes. If  you haven't read the story yet, please check my previous post. Here it is.

Saturday, July 21

Speaking Up and an Evening Adventure ..............................7/21/12

This is the Harbor Bay Portion of Alameda. This point is about six miles from where 
my adventure happened. The barely discernible jagged edged horizon, to the right of
the sunset, is the skyline of San Francisco.  
       Good evening, one and all,

I had the bejesus scared out of me tonight. I'm still sore from what happened.

Friday, July 20

Pondering Upon a Sad Time

        Good evening everyone

I hope you had a good day. Some difficult important business, I took care of.  It involved making phone calls. I dreaded it, but went ahead, anyway.

      Part of my growth is realizing that my actions, as long as they don't harm others, and are not unethical, don't always need to make sense. Sometimes

Thursday, July 19

Overflowing with Gratitudes ...............................7/19/12

Don't you like the view out of the many windows of this inn?
 This one is a particular favorite of mine. Image: "Woods: Between the Trees"
by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted material, used by his kind permission. 
My Gratitudes for Today:
1. Last night, I slept like a baby: I woke up every three hours and cried. lol  Just kidding! I had a terrific night of sleep. This happens when I exercise. Yesterday's bike ride and the fellowship I had with someone I mentor was a terrific tonic for my soul.
"How blessed and good it is when brethren dwell together in unity."  Psalms 133:1
That was my experience last night.
2. I'm thrilled with those who sign the registry to

End of the Week Check In and, Your Prayers Are Appreciated

We are given a fresh start not only at the beginning of the
 year, but every morning when we awake. We have the
 chance to start anew and make things right.
Image: "Countryside: Sunrise" by Tim Blessed, All rights reserved.
Copyrighted photo, used by permissio
n.

Click on the photo for the complete picture.
      What an unusual day, at the inn. We have twice as many visitors from Russia, than we do from the United States. Typically

Wednesday, July 18

Changing the DNA of Our Character, Also Celebrating Life: Enjoying Time With A Friend

      I just got in from enjoying a lovely day. A busy day at work preceded a time of fun. I rushed through the morning and afternoon, meeting with someone I mentor at 5:30 p.m.  Did we have a good time. We rode bikes through the tree-lined, tree-canopied streets of Alameda and along the South Shore.
Gibbons Street in Alameda
      I haven't ridden my bike lately. Tending to my business has consumed my time and mental and spiritual energy. It felt good---the breeze caressed me as I rode into the westerly winds blowing in from the Pacific.  At, an easy clip, 10 mph, my friend and I chatted while we casually threaded our way through the many who strolled, ran, or sat along the shore.

      Our conversation, my friend's smile, the pungent smell of kelp, cycling, and viewing the waves crashing against the beach, released

Tuesday, July 17

Hope and Strength For Dark Times, Part IV

Even when people turn they backs against you, God is always
there with his arms open for you no matter what the situation is.
Image: "Woodland: Bluebells" by Tim Blessed.
 Used by permission. Copyrighted  and a beautiful photo!
     Hi there.

Yes, it's late. I'll dash this off and head off for bed.  Good seeing you; thanks for your visits.  I love having guests drop by.

     Today was another unusual day. I'm being

Sunday, July 15

Hope For Dark Times, Part III ...............................7/15/12

“Laugh, even when you feel too sick or too worn out or tired. 
Smile, even when you're trying not to cry

 and the tears are blurring your vision. 
Sing, even when people stare at 
you and tell you your voice is crappy. 

Time With Family ................................7/15/12

There is always some good in every situation; all you have to do is look for it.
          Good morning, again,
I just got back, after a busy evening. A regular guest to this inn,

Saturday, July 14

The Decompressing Joy of a Belly Laugh

       Good morning everyone,                                                               Someone at home just made some noise and woke me up.  I bedded early, tired from a busy and stressful week.  Whew!  I was was exhausted.  I still am.                                                                                   Later today, I'll spend time with my youngest son, Josiah.  I'll dash off my gratitudes and try getting more rest.                                My Gratitudes for Saturday: 1. I'll spend time cooking something big today, a turkey. I find time in the kitchen can be a meditation. I like how it centers me.  Josiah will help.                      2. I'll get rest after this post.                                                               3. I look forward to cycling with my son and flying kites, after we're done cooking. Having adventures with a family member is always fun.                                                                                                      4. I appreciate God's love. Knowing grace in my life helps me, when I'm mentally stuck or emotionally fearful.                                  5. I look forward to hearing from friends. I'm concerned about what's going on with some of them. I hope to hear how their issues get resolved.                                                                                      6. I value each of you who drop by this inn of thanks.                          7. I'm thankful for humor.                                                                              It feels so great when I have a belly laugh. I appreciate it's comforting power. The video clip above is silly. I thought the inn needed a bit of levity.                                                                                   Watching this video always makes me laugh. My, was Madeline Kahn funny. And boy, she could sing. Who can forget her performance in the films Young Frankenstein or Blazing Saddles? May her tribe increase!                                                                          How About You?                                                                         1. What are your plans for this weekend? 2. Who are some of your favorite comedians?  In addition to Madeline, I like Andy Kaufman, Jonathan Winters, Phil Hartman and Jack Benny.  

Thursday, July 12

A Spiritual Awakening, Part III: Enjoying The Richness of Life .......7/12/12

We do not remember days, we remember moments. 
The richness of life lies in memories we have forgotten.   
       Good late evening everyone,

This was a different but wonderful day.  Corresponding with friends this week, including today, has knit me closer with them.  I awoke to a wonderful and amazing letter, waiting in my e-mail mailbox.  I enjoy interacting with you, my guests, too.  I am touched by your insights, thoughtfulness, sensitivity to life, your gratitudes and your increasing

Wednesday, July 11

Calmness in the Eye of an Emotional Storm: Not Allowing Others to Affect Our Serenity or Self-Image. Revisited ............7/11/12


I'm grateful for principles that allow me to remain calm in the midst of a storm
7/11/12   Innkeeper's Update:
         Hello everyone,
I normally don't do this, but I intuitively feel compelled to post this again. I feel strongly about the need to know how to shelter ourselves, when we find ourselves overwhelmed by the crushing waves of abuse, despair, frustration or self-loathing.

         I wrote the following a year ago, last March. I've edited it today, especially the last three paragraphs.  I also added footnotes.   I don't care for things to go stale.

         After all this time, one year and four months, I've decided to let you know an instrumental part of my personal growth.  It is Al-Anon Family Groups, an amazing organization.  It's been an emotional and mental life saver for me.  For more about it, see my footnotes.  As, always, I ask you to take what you like and leave the rest. 

         It's so easy surrendering our boundaries, becoming intimidated, finding ourselves like deer frozen in the headlights when relating with an angry, intimidating or manipulative individual.

         Below is my response to such an occasion.  I'm thankful that I no longer accept unacceptable behavior, nor please unpleasant people, nor bear the burden of another's

Tuesday, July 10

I Choose Life. I Have Control Over How I Respond To Life's Circumstances ...................7/10/12

We must never forget that we may also find meaning
in life even when confronted with a hopeless situat-
ion,when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For
what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely
human potential at its best, which is to transform a
personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one's pre-
         dicament into human achievement. 

         When we are no longer able to change the situa-
         tion---just think of an incurable disease such as 
         inoperable cancer--we are challenged to change 
         ourselves.      Viktor Frankl
        If I'm not care-ful, the moth of my unhealthy self is at-tracted to flame of those who want to deplete my energy.

        I'm thankful for discernment.  I'm mindful I am the average of the five people I hang out with. I relate with those who grow charac-terologically and enjoy life.

        As the quote under the picture encourages us, we may not be able to control our circum-stances, but we can control how we choose to respond to them.

        Happiness can be ours.  Even when surrounded by the grey clouds of a despairing situation.  We can bloom like the gorgeous cactus flow-er at the beginning of this post.

       We, too, can flourish.  This can be true in spite of being placed in the desert of trying circumstances.  It doesn't matter if our dry time is a divorce, losing a job or experiencing depression.

      Dr. Frankl knew this reality.  He lived life ful-ly.  This was his story  as a Jew entrapped in a concentration camp, during World War II.  Our difficulties could not be worse than that, are they?

        I didn't think so.

        I use the power of choos-ing healthy responses.  Even in dire times.  Optimists fare better and live longer.  They are happier and healthier than those who perseverate and dwell upon the dreariness of life.

        You can read more about this here

********    

         It's good hearing from so many of you. Thank you for signing the registry to this inn with your gratitudes.  It's getting late so I'll share mine and be off to bed.
1. I'll ride with a new cycling buddy on Wednesday. I'll enjoy the adventure and fun we'll have.
2. I spoke with the person who made last week unpleasant.
      He wanted to argue. I wasn't interested, I told him. A person can't play an emotional tug-of-war with me, if I let go of the rope.
       I simply stated my feelings, without using judgment. I let him know I needed dignity and respect in our interactions. I made no statement about his harmful behavior. I demonstrate respect towards him and equally expect him to do the same.  I left it at that.
       I appreciate having my voice and taking a stand for courtesy.
3. I received a gift today. Totally unexpected. I'm touched by this person's extreme generosity.  It's from my middle son, Micael.
4. For some reason, even though my right knee is stiff and sore, I can ride my bike without discomfort.  I thrive when I exercise. It does wonders to discharge tension and frustration.
5. I appreciate the efforts from a friend who is helping me with my business and in my social life. Wow, am I lucky. I'm touched by his support. It means a lot to me.
6. I avoid relating with those who frequently complain.

        If you knew me better, you'd be surprised with the resiliency I've had, despite severe setbacks.  I'd love hearing your response to this post.

Monday, July 9

A Good Day, But Still Experiencing Fireworks from the Fourth of July

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of 
the human freedoms– to choose one’s attitude in any given set 
of circumstances, to choose one’s own way."         Viktor Frankl
My Gratitudes for Today
1. I rested. It was good for my health and provided the tranquility I needed.
2. I had time alone. It allowed me to sort out my thoughts and

20 Reasons to Be Optimistic 7/9/11

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;
 an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” 

― Winston Churchill   
By the way, isn't this a beautiful photo?.
      I'm really up at it, today!  I've written five letters, taken care of administrative matters related to my work and about to have my Quiet Time.  I'll

Persistence, Patience, Practice and Perseverance: Progress, Revisited ..........................7/9/12

The Angel Oak on Johns Island in South Carolina.  The oldest oak tree
 east of Mississippi.  It is certainly one of the most beautiful.It's 1500 
years old. It's 65 feet tall, over 6 stories.   The crown covers 17,000
square feet. It's longest limb is 89 feet long.  It's maintained by the 
city of Charleston.  This tree grew from one little acorn.   Here's to
our growth!
       I'm bumping up this post for those who may not have known about this cozy inn of encour-agement a year ago, last March.

         I'm leaving two questions.

Friday, July 6

     Good evening friends and guests of this inn of positivity and thanks.

You make my work here, enjoyable, especially when you leave your comments. I'm grateful for those of you who do.

      I had the unexpected gift of meeting with my oldest son, this afternoon.  I won't tell you that I'm partial to his name (but I am).   :)   We had a snatch of time together, but it was deeply satisfying. The weather was fantastic as we spoke outside. We met in the city of Fremont, where I grew up as a kid.

      I so enjoy his reports about marketing work he's doing for TRexGlobal.com.  A father could not be prouder about a son. I love how he's using his skills, zooming beyond the expectations of those he works for.

     I like hearing him share about his work and the impact he has there. Yesterday, he worked eighteen hours. Gosh.  He was back at work, today. I'm glad tonight he'll relax, spending time with friends.

     Regrettably, I had to leave, an appointment with a client was fast approaching. I left him with a song in my heart. It encourages me, seeing a son moving along a terrific path in his life. It's all a result of his hard work and God. I had nothing to do with it. All I do is step back, smiling at my son's good fortune. (I guess it's a bit obvious that I'm a proud father.)
My Gratitudes for Friday:
1.  It was great seeing my son, who shall remain nameless. Take a guess what it might be. You'd be right.  I like how we communicate and the companionship we share.
2.  We made tentative plans to go cycling next Thursday. It'll be the first time for us. I'll go easy on him. It's fun to have something to look forward to, anticipating a common adventure.
3.  I went to the movies today. I saw "For Greater Glory."
       I enjoyed it. Intense, but good. For more about it, click here. (I warn you about one problem with the linked review: Ebert must not be aware, that during the time period of this movie, the country in question was about 98% Catholic. This fact would answer his concern for the focus on this one denomination, in the film.)
      I was drawn into the drama of the film. I wept when I saw one scene.  I am grateful for the increased awareness of a part of history that I did not know.
4.  I enjoyed my time with those who saw a free movie with me, Vinny and Carl.  Emotional safety with healthy friends was a soothing antidote to the abuse I experienced from an angry man this week.
5.  I had a lot of demands today. I got everything done. Ya ay!  I like being effective and efficient.
6.  I'll meet with someone I mentor tomorrow morning, followed by getting together with friends.  I value connecting with others.  I don't get my healing in isolation.
7.  I hope to go for an hour, to an hour-and-a-half ride tomorrow, on my bicycle.
8.  I look forward to cycling forty miles on Sunday.
9.  I've made arrangements to possibly have a new riding buddy, starting next week.
10. I had no interactions today with someone who, for three days in a row, tried using emotional coercion on me, this week. (It didn't work---I did not budge from my values).
11. I'm thankful that I'm not externally referented. I like having my own standards, boundaries and autonomy.
12. I'm enjoying correspondence I'm having with a new friend. It's fun discovering more about another person, unraveling the mystery of who they are, as I also let them to get to know me better, too.
How About You? 
1. Who do you like visiting? Today, I delighted in my time with my oldest son. Earlier this week I spent time with my middle son.
2. What do you do, to unwind? Today I saw a flick and rode my bike. 

Dealing With an Emotional Bully, Part IV .......7/6/12

God's love is like an evergreen tree; it thrives through every season.
Image: "Woodland" by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted photo. Used by permission.
Caption is the photographer's. It fits well with today's post.
         Good morning everyone,

I'm tending to the inn early today. Has you week gone well?  I hope so. If not, please allow me to offer you the calming tea of

Thursday, July 5

Life With an Emotional Bully...................... 7/5/12

 "Put on the glasses of optimism and you’ll see a world of potential."
Image: "Countryside: Spring Crops" by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted photo.
Used by permission.  Quote by the photographer.
My Gratitudes for Today
1. God provided for me. I'm thankful for His abundance. I find comfort in knowing

Wednesday, July 4

Celebrating The Fourth of July, the Comfort of Family & Painful Fireworks of Another Kind .......................7/4/12


     How was your Fourth of July?

For us here in the United States it's a grand day. I tasted a big portion of Americana this

Celebrating the Life All Around Me This Evening

My Gratitudes for Today:
1. On this birthday of this nation, I'm thankful I live in the United States. I'm proud being an American.
    I live in a great country and I'm happy doing my part to

Tuesday, July 3

Hope for the Past, Revisited

Image: "Countryside: Wheat Flower" by Tim Blessed. Used by permission.
 All rights reserved. Copyrighted photo. Photo added to this post 3/4/12 

      I'm bumping this up. I wrote this earlier, on January thirteenth of this year.  Let me know what you think. 
Gratitudes for Today
1Writing, I love writing. 
     Even though it can be aggravating, when trying to express myself. It's also fun: like a Rubik's Cube. It can be

Monday, July 2

Care Needed When Assuming and the Joy of Laughter (Also, I've included a joke.)

No one is useless in the world who lightens the burden of it for others. (Charles Dickens)  
      Good evening,

Glad to make time and visit with the guests of this inn. The weather was lovely today.
Care Needed When Assuming
      I've had an unusual experience the past three weeks. Chanting from a neighbor's house has woken me in the middle of the night, several times.  It's been a source for my

Sunday, July 1

Being Completely Known and Loved Is Possible


     Good evening,

How was your weekend? I was unexpectedly sick yesterday. It was no fun. I took the day off, staying in bed for the evening, going to bed, early.
My Gratitudes for Sunday:
1. I really like the comments you are leaving. Thanks! I'm getting inspired by them. I'm sensing that we are catching the vision of this inn.
2. God working in my life, is something I look forward to, this week. I'm glad He is in control, orchestrating events. There's more to the unfolding of life than my limited perspective can see.  This is definitely a week of Letting Go and Letting God.
3. A transparent conversation with my middle son, Micael, was an unexpected treat yesterday. I'm happy with the support he offered yesterday and value his insight.
   
      I met with friends yesterday morning. This was before getting ill at noontime.  Hearing people moan and groan is common to hear when with a group of others. It's the default mode for many.

     You know me. I prefer focusing on the solution. I made several comments. I shared how it's simple to not discuss the soul killers, when with friends. I can and do. As a result, I don't suffer from depression. That's what have support from amazingly loving people does for me. I am known and loved for who I am, not who I appear to be.

     The following I wrote as an edited version of reply I wrote early yesterday morning, at an other blog. The person shared a quote from someone famous, Yates. It was:
  "If my work has a theme, I suspect it is a simple one: that most human beings are inescapably alone, and therein lies their tragedy."
My response:

Yates' comment is interesting. And I differ. I love being alone, but I've never been lonely. I find loneliness happens when we cease to be at peace with ourselves. 
Because of the nature of my work [I am with people all the time], I relish time alone. It allows me to sort out not only my thoughts, but my feelings and my connection with God and his will for me. 

 I was not in agreement with Yates statement. I did not say he was wrong. I just see things differently.

Her response (I'm leaving it up to her, if she wants to identify herself), and I like this woman, was:
I was just reading about Delacroix, who wrote in his diaries "It is one of the saddest things in life that we can never be completely known and understood by another person."

     Thanks for the dialog. I'm not in agreement with Delacroix's perspective.  Along with Yate’s comment, it is bleak. I didn't say it's inaccurate. I just see the same circumstances from a different, exciting, positive perspective.
     ...I believe intimacy is possible (er, I refer to that of the soul, spiritually and emotionally, not sex).  And, we can be known; it can be a wonderful relational dance, shared with another.   You know, I'm the attitude of gratitude guy, so I see the complexity of others and myself, and getting to know another, as a positive.... [opportunity].
      What a mine of discovery, relating with another can be! ... It requires discretion. I don't open up with just anyone. I filter those I allow into my life, using boundaries. 
      This permits me to let the safe people in and keep those who aren’t, out.  Boundaries work like a door. For more about that, you might want to check out this post I wrote about character discernment.  Here’s the link: Character Discernment: Necessary for Healthy Relationships
      Once I'm satisfied I'm not relating with a narcissist, toxic individual, or an emotional bully---and I like the person---I slowly unfurl, like the petals of a flower greeting the sun. What an amazing gift an excellent, nurturing friendship is.
     They take time. The race doesn't always go to the swift. There's more to life or relationships than immediate results. Patience brings its gifts, if I'm willing to enjoy the process.
     I love the word intimacy. It comes from two Greek words. "In" which means in, and timao, which is defined as to revere or fear. When we are intimate, we are within one other's fears.  The other person will not betray me, nor I, them by using them against each other.
     It is a safe environment, each providing the other with the gift of unconditional love and acceptance. Wow. Yes, it's rare, but possible.
     I enjoy such relationships. They heal my soul, spirit and mind. For more about the distinction between these three parts of us you might want to check out my post "An Un-American Concept, We Are Primarily Spiritual" 
     In such a context, “becoming completely known” becomes a luxurious banquet. Intimacy is a joy, no longer fraught with fear or nervousness.  I am accepted as I am and so are they.
     We comfortably discuss true soul killers, supporting each other. There’s a depth plumbed within each other that is exhilarating and fulfilling.  The real us, warts, pimples, boils, and all---steps out and is embraced. The result is wholeness, lightness and deep, joyful, satisfying intimacy.
      So, it was with this recent letter in mind, I spoke what I did when I was with friends yesterday morning.  They probably didn't know what hit them, although several approached me afterwards and  said they appreciated what I shared.
     Okay, it's time for bed. I value your prayers and I'm struggling with an issue this week. I've facing a challenge that affects me emotionally.  I appreciate your support.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.

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