Being Completely Known and Loved Is Possible

     Good evening,

How was your weekend? I was unexpectedly sick yesterday. It was no fun. I took the day off, staying in bed for the evening, going to bed, early.
My Gratitudes for Sunday:
1. I really like the comments you are leaving. Thanks! I'm getting inspired by them. I'm sensing that we are catching the vision of this inn.
2. God working in my life, is something I look forward to, this week. I'm glad He is in control, orchestrating events. There's more to the unfolding of life than my limited perspective can see.  This is definitely a week of Letting Go and Letting God.
3. A transparent conversation with my middle son, Micael, was an unexpected treat yesterday. I'm happy with the support he offered yesterday and value his insight.
   
      I met with friends yesterday morning. This was before getting ill at noontime.  Hearing people moan and groan is common to hear when with a group of others. It's the default mode for many.

     You know me. I prefer focusing on the solution. I made several comments. I shared how it's simple to not discuss the soul killers, when with friends. I can and do. As a result, I don't suffer from depression. That's what have support from amazingly loving people does for me. I am known and loved for who I am, not who I appear to be.

     The following I wrote as an edited version of reply I wrote early yesterday morning, at an other blog. The person shared a quote from someone famous, Yates. It was:

  "If my work has a theme, I suspect it is a simple one: that most human beings are inescapably alone, and therein lies their tragedy."

My response:

Yates' comment is interesting. And I differ. I love being alone, but I've never been lonely. I find loneliness happens when we cease to be at peace with ourselves. 

Because of the nature of my work [I am with people all the time], I relish time alone. It allows me to sort out not only my thoughts, but my feelings and my connection with God and his will for me. 

 I was not in agreement with Yates statement. I did not say he was wrong. I just see things differently.

Her response (I'm leaving it up to her, if she wants to identify herself), and I like this woman, was:

I was just reading about Delacroix, who wrote in his diaries "It is one of the saddest things in life that we can never be completely known and understood by another person."

     Thanks for the dialog. I'm not in agreement with Delacroix's perspective.  Along with Yate’s comment, it is bleak. I didn't say it's inaccurate. I just see the same circumstances from a different, exciting, positive perspective.

     ...I believe intimacy is possible (er, I refer to that of the soul, spiritually and emotionally, not sex).  And, we can be known; it can be a wonderful relational dance, shared with another.   You know, I'm the attitude of gratitude guy, so I see the complexity of others and myself, and getting to know another, as a positive.... [opportunity].

      What a mine of discovery, relating with another can be! ... It requires discretion. I don't open up with just anyone. I filter those I allow into my life, using boundaries. 

      This permits me to let the safe people in and keep those who aren’t, out.  Boundaries work like a door. For more about that, you might want to check out this post I wrote about character discernment.  Here’s the link: Character Discernment: Necessary for Healthy Relationships

      Once I'm satisfied I'm not relating with a narcissist, toxic individual, or an emotional bully---and I like the person---I slowly unfurl, like the petals of a flower greeting the sun. What an amazing gift an excellent, nurturing friendship is.

     They take time. The race doesn't always go to the swift. There's more to life or relationships than immediate results. Patience brings its gifts, if I'm willing to enjoy the process.

     I love the word intimacy. It comes from two Greek words. "In" which means in, and timao, which is defined as to revere or fear. When we are intimate, we are within one other's fears.  The other person will not betray me, nor I, them by using them against each other.

     It is a safe environment, each providing the other with the gift of unconditional love and acceptance. Wow. Yes, it's rare, but possible.

     I enjoy such relationships. They heal my soul, spirit and mind. For more about the distinction between these three parts of us you might want to check out my post "An Un-American Concept, We Are Primarily Spiritual" 

     In such a context, “becoming completely known” becomes a luxurious banquet. Intimacy is a joy, no longer fraught with fear or nervousness.  I am accepted as I am and so are they.

     We comfortably discuss true soul killers, supporting each other. There’s a depth plumbed within each other that is exhilarating and fulfilling.  The real us, warts, pimples, boils, and all---steps out and is embraced. The result is wholeness, lightness and deep, joyful, satisfying intimacy.

      So, it was with this recent letter in mind, I spoke what I did when I was with friends yesterday morning.  They probably didn't know what hit them, although several approached me afterwards and  said they appreciated what I shared.
     Okay, it's time for bed. I value your prayers and I'm struggling with an issue this week. I've facing a challenge that affects me emotionally.  I appreciate your support.