Dealing With an Emotional Bully, Part IV .......7/6/12

God's love is like an evergreen tree; it thrives through every season.
Image: "Woodland" by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted photo. Used by permission.
Caption is the photographer's. It fits well with today's post.

         Good morning everyone,

I'm tending to the inn early today. Has you week gone well?  I hope so. If not, please allow me to offer you the calming tea of
encouraging reflections.   :)

        A roller coaster ride of emotions was the story of this week.  Thankfully, it ended as well as it could.  Relating with an emotional abuser is tough, my situation for the past six days.  No fun.  I don't like anger, foul words or abuse.  I'm a junkie for harmony, tranquility and serenity. Additionally, the tough, gritty, practical unpleasant demands all business owners and self-employed people encounter, I faced.

       When my emotions are assaulted or I am occupationally challenged, I realize my life is unmanageable.  In recovery this is called Step One.  I'm there. And how.  I'm powerless over all the nouns and pronouns in my life: people, places and things. This is when I take a deep breath.  Turning my circumstances over to God is my best recourse.  He can handle them.

       I can't. 

      Prayer helps. To God, I release my burdens.  I know this approach isn't the rage---it's not popular, nowadays. But it is effective.  Letting Go and Letting God has been a terrific anti-aging, wrinkle cream for my soul.  Creases on my physical brow and my soul are reduced when I release my pressures into God's care.  I rely upon His strength, mine is inadequate.

       Years ago, I realized I was powerless over my worries, depression, my past, abusers (including the angry person I wrestled with this week.  The dragons from his abusive past raised their head and roared mightily, at me.) and the outcome of my life.  You can imagine my relief when these areas---and many others---no longer weigh on me.  Sanity returns when I surrender to my Higher Power's care, experienceing His loving support, as we dance the dance of life.

       When I yield to God, joy returns.  It visits me, staying by my side, as I tend to the tasks of life and its demands.

       Harboring anger doesn't help.  But feeling it does.  I acknowledged the pain of relating with an abusive person this week.  I felt all the tumultuous emotions within my body, and let them go.

       I rid myself of toxic emotions by dealing with them.  I journaled about what was going on, here. My bike, I rode; I spoke with good friends, processing with them what I experienced.  But, I did not lock horns with the victimizer.  I did not engage the wounded person whose inner anguish moved him to torment me.  I'm not interested in adding to my grief.  Heavens, no.

       Sanity is not believing in a fantasy: there's no way I can help this angry man who wanted to make my week difficult.  I see reality.  I see what spiritually took place while relating with this unhappy, tortured individual.  Pigeons do what pigeons do.  I'm just not going to sit under a tree that has roosting pigeons.

        I see this fellow as emotionally intoxicated.  I've learned to not argue with a person when they are drunk.  That's exactly the case here.  Seeing the situation for what it is allows me to detach with love.  I don't take it personally.

        It's not my job to fix or correct this person.  The best thing is, I don't have the desire, either. That shows tremendous growth on my part.  I realize there's only one God, and I'm not it.  I've retired my cape.  If I were foolhardy enough to try, I'd be as successful as attempting to withstand an atomic blast.  It would be rather futile.

       Instead, I do self-care by detaching with love.  If you want to learn these principles I'm sharing, consider going to an Al-Anon Family Group (AFG) meeting.  You'll find one nearby.  For more about AFG check out my previous post. Here it is.

        Okay, I have to go to work.  Wish me the best.  I have many calls to make and appointments to set up.  Your prayers will help.  Yes, yours.  Really.  I appreciate your support.