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"An error can never become true however many times you repeat it. The truth can never be wrong, even if no one hears it.".... Mahatma Gandhi |
As I quoted recently,
"Communication from the heart is a precious expression of love. Write that letter or make that call today."
It's wonderful coming back and finding
comments and e-mails left for the innkeeper. Thank you. Aileen, Vanessa, Marina, Nalia, Carl, Keith and Lowry, I appreciate your feedback, support and the fellowship we share.
comments and e-mails left for the innkeeper. Thank you. Aileen, Vanessa, Marina, Nalia, Carl, Keith and Lowry, I appreciate your feedback, support and the fellowship we share.
What a day. It's emotionally taxing, facing difficult work and doing it. This is especially true when it dredges up negative feelings similar to the panic and fear I had as a child, living with a parent who was a perfectionist.
I'm glad I'm aware of the tension I feel in my body. Before I'd ignore it, contributing towards unease and depression. Now, that's no longer the case. I express these feelings out of my body. I pray, exercise, cycle, talk out my feelings with friends, shout it out (if I'm by myself) or vent my emotions through writing, often doing an inventory that helps me come to grips with the vortex of emotions that can appear when stressed.
The speed of my progress, may not be at the rate I expected, but the work is getting done, one portion at a time. For accomplishing that, I feel good. Doing these tasks is an amends to me. I have three big humps to get over tomorrow. I look forward to pushing onward, cresting these hills, seeing them soon only in the review mirror of my memories.
Today, I dropped by a blog I once visited regularly. Today it made me uncomfortable. One of the best things about feeling good about yourself, having the recovery of self-esteem is that we express what we feel. We do so with courtesy, of course, but we've learned to be true to our values. Low self-esteem causes us to accept unacceptable behavior or words. I don't suffer from low self-esteem. I don't seek the approval from others, in order to be accepted, I'm not externally referented.
A four letter word was written for all to read at the blog visited. I find obscenity is becoming so commonplace that many are becoming inured to it. I am not interested in bending myself into contortions trying to say something nice about something that is offensive. That kind of language doesn't meet my need for respect.
I believe all people need to be treated with dignity and sensitivity. One big bump of growth in my life is learning how to be courteous and kind towards others while still adhering to my values. Consequently, I wrote a comment sharing my concerns. I've learned we get what we tolerate. We train people how to treat us.
We are also the average of the five people we hang out with. I choose being with those who are positive, not foul, considerate, not insensitive, and relating with those who encourage, not insult.
Nourishing myself in a way that helps me blossom in the direction I want to go is attainable, and I am worth the effort. This works best when I fill my mind with "whatever is lovely, good, excellent and worthy of praise." (Phillipians 4:8.)
My Gratitudes for Today:
1. I rode my bike with a friend today. I'm glad I did. I've been in a funk. Getting out and pushing my body was good for my spirit---I'm less stressed.
2. Tomorrow, more unpleasant work is in store for the innkeeper. Doing it helps me place principles above my personality. Sounds easy. It aint, but it gets easier each time I do.
3. Emotional blockage tripped me up, as I approached tasks that needed my efforts this week. I knew this was going on. I reached out to two friends. I've been honest with you guys, here, about it, too. Just speaking about it, helps diminish the power that this blockage---that is related to past trauma---has over me.
4. I've been gentle towards myself while dealing with a matter that triggers a lot of past pain. That's big progress for me.
5. I'm grateful for time spent with a friend this evening. Together, we worked on strategies for my business. He's trying to arrange others, professional colleagues of his, to help me forward my mission and vision for the work I do.
6. In the midst of many demands, I made time to straighten, clean and organize my home. I feel much better, when there's less clutter. I'm thankful for practical steps I can take to make my life more serene and provides more emotional ease and safety.
7. I cooked homemade soup today---a big pot of it. I appreciate taking care of myself in practical ways. Nutritious food, rest, and time for play are essential when going through stress. Difficult times are when I need to especially take care of myself.
How About You?
1. What is a difficult task that you have had to work on?
2. Has there been a stand you have had to take, recently?
3. In what way have you been placing principles above your personality?
I'm glad I'm aware of the tension I feel in my body. Before I'd ignore it, contributing towards unease and depression. Now, that's no longer the case. I express these feelings out of my body. I pray, exercise, cycle, talk out my feelings with friends, shout it out (if I'm by myself) or vent my emotions through writing, often doing an inventory that helps me come to grips with the vortex of emotions that can appear when stressed.
The speed of my progress, may not be at the rate I expected, but the work is getting done, one portion at a time. For accomplishing that, I feel good. Doing these tasks is an amends to me. I have three big humps to get over tomorrow. I look forward to pushing onward, cresting these hills, seeing them soon only in the review mirror of my memories.
Today, I dropped by a blog I once visited regularly. Today it made me uncomfortable. One of the best things about feeling good about yourself, having the recovery of self-esteem is that we express what we feel. We do so with courtesy, of course, but we've learned to be true to our values. Low self-esteem causes us to accept unacceptable behavior or words. I don't suffer from low self-esteem. I don't seek the approval from others, in order to be accepted, I'm not externally referented.
"I block my well being every time I base my worth on what I do or what other people think of me." Courage to Change, p. 118And,
When I need the applause from others in order to feel good about myself, I've given them power over me." Courage to Change, p. 9Operating on this basis does not offer a good deal. This externally referented perspective does not contribute towards us knowing emotional safety, tranquility, serenity, happiness or an accurate assessment of our value.
A four letter word was written for all to read at the blog visited. I find obscenity is becoming so commonplace that many are becoming inured to it. I am not interested in bending myself into contortions trying to say something nice about something that is offensive. That kind of language doesn't meet my need for respect.
I believe all people need to be treated with dignity and sensitivity. One big bump of growth in my life is learning how to be courteous and kind towards others while still adhering to my values. Consequently, I wrote a comment sharing my concerns. I've learned we get what we tolerate. We train people how to treat us.
We are also the average of the five people we hang out with. I choose being with those who are positive, not foul, considerate, not insensitive, and relating with those who encourage, not insult.
Nourishing myself in a way that helps me blossom in the direction I want to go is attainable, and I am worth the effort. This works best when I fill my mind with "whatever is lovely, good, excellent and worthy of praise." (Phillipians 4:8.)
My Gratitudes for Today:
1. I rode my bike with a friend today. I'm glad I did. I've been in a funk. Getting out and pushing my body was good for my spirit---I'm less stressed.
2. Tomorrow, more unpleasant work is in store for the innkeeper. Doing it helps me place principles above my personality. Sounds easy. It aint, but it gets easier each time I do.
3. Emotional blockage tripped me up, as I approached tasks that needed my efforts this week. I knew this was going on. I reached out to two friends. I've been honest with you guys, here, about it, too. Just speaking about it, helps diminish the power that this blockage---that is related to past trauma---has over me.
4. I've been gentle towards myself while dealing with a matter that triggers a lot of past pain. That's big progress for me.
5. I'm grateful for time spent with a friend this evening. Together, we worked on strategies for my business. He's trying to arrange others, professional colleagues of his, to help me forward my mission and vision for the work I do.
6. In the midst of many demands, I made time to straighten, clean and organize my home. I feel much better, when there's less clutter. I'm thankful for practical steps I can take to make my life more serene and provides more emotional ease and safety.
7. I cooked homemade soup today---a big pot of it. I appreciate taking care of myself in practical ways. Nutritious food, rest, and time for play are essential when going through stress. Difficult times are when I need to especially take care of myself.
How About You?
1. What is a difficult task that you have had to work on?
2. Has there been a stand you have had to take, recently?
3. In what way have you been placing principles above your personality?
Posts
2 comments:
Hello Innkeeper,
Lowry here - it's been much longer than I planned or promised - yet I am thankful that the Inn is open. I am grateful for the awareness of principle over personality. I can mark my recovery on the relationship of these two - with principle the trump card. Lately, personality's been the stronger. However, even in the ripple effect allowing/choosing personality over principle (which, of course leads to external referencing - another awareness I give thanks for) I discover that I don't feel the personal devastation I used to before these concepts came into consciousness for me. For that I am grateful. I'm thankful for planning and am energized when I make the effort to do the things I know will have a positive impact on how my life unfolds. Fulfilling promises is also energizing and life-affirming. I find that when I follow up and act on a promise, the dread of failing or breaking a promise, or lying fades away - I'm less tense and skittish. I give thanks here in the Inn for these awarenesses and, will higher power's help, will sustain me in my endeavor. Thank you, Innkeeper, for keeping the light on for me!
Lowry,
Great to see you back at the inn. What can we do to support your intentions, please let me know. Thanks for checking in.
I'd encourage you to have a network of friends who can support your goals. We can't make it in this life, by ourselves.
Let me know how I can pray for you and help you, as you desire to become the person you want to be.
The Innkeeper
P.S. Please keep coming back!
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