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"Amidst the constant turmoil and drama that surrounds us, as we live life, many
stop noticing what is going on with themselves. Something more important and life threatening always seems to intervene. When we acknowledge a situation as it is, we want look at our options instead of looking at the options available to other people." Courage to Change, p.359
The following are general principles from Al-Anon Family Groups. I'm sure they
will help when trying to figure out our responsibility in our relationships with others.
It Is Never My Responsibility To:
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ive what I really don’t want to give
Sacrifice my integrity to anyone
Do more than I have time to do
Drain my strength for others
Listen to unwise counsel
Listen to unwise counsel
Remain in an unfair relationship
Be anyone but exactly who I am
Conform to unreasonable demands
Be 100% perfect
Follow the crowd
Please unpleasant people
Bear the burden of another’s misbehavior
Do something I really cannot do
Endure my own negative thoughts
Feel guilty towards my inner desires
Submit to overbearing conditions
Apologize for being myself
Meekly let life pass me by
Posts
9 comments:
Hello Pablo,
Great message for me and others.
Will pass along soon.
All the very best,
Carl
Carl,
It's great seeing you here. I hope this post helps clarify boundaries you may want to consider. These values added immensely to my serenity.
This post reminds me that it is critical to not only think of others. We also need to consider our needs.
Thanks for your feedback!
I've tried to write but my heart is not speaking. it may take time to express myself and feel safe. This is a beginning for me as best I can do for the time being.
Anne
Anne,
I didn't catch this post until now, it being tucked away in an older post.
I don't quite understand your comment about your heart not speaking. Thank you for your comment, nonetheless.
I hope you are doing well
The Innkeeper
This is a great quote and reminder of how I should llive my life every day, especially since it's so easy for me to neglect myself ....Thsnks for your posts... I appreciate your blog.
Looking back to this comment about my heart not speaking. I could not express my feelings from my heart openly in words. I was guarding my heart. It was to painful looking at myself to connect with my heart and the voice in my head was putting up a wall to heartfelt expression. I even get sad now thinking back but the tear from my face is something I can now understand and share without feeling overwhelmed. It took time for me to understand and articulate what I needed to express.
It is better to wait than blurt out words which can hurt and leave a lasting impression. Words mean something.
The last comment was not named but its from Anne
Even though LAG may not see this comment because it is written way after she wrote hers, I will still reply.
I like what this post says, too. It is so easy drifting away from what is encouraged here. I find my habits get in the way. Living more consciously from a recovery perspective makes it more likely that I will not accept unacceptable behavior and have relationships that are fair for everyone, including myself.
LAG, thank you, for taking the time to drop by the inn and comment.
Wishing you a fantastic 2018!
The Innkeeper
Dear Anne,
I am responding to both comments you left this month. I love you are in touch with your feelings. This is what it is to truly live. We want to avoid staying in our head. When we do, we are not being present.
I agree with you, it is better to respond, not react. What comes from our mouth reveals our character. We do want to be careful.
I'm glad you are getting better. Discretion regarding what we say is important.
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