Good evening everyone,
Three hours ago, I was awakened from the Land of Nod. A mind overstuffed with reflections upon today's events, being emotionally drained, along with a low-grade headache prompted me to bed. I was in H.A.L.T.,exhausted. In such cases sleep is my best remedy.
Jarred from it, a few hours ago has me at low ebb, mentally and physically, as I tell you about my day. Physical exertion doesn't get me tired; I have a high level of stamina. Depleting all of the stores of my emotional and spiritual resources does.
I'm wearing earplugs. What I can do to make the most of my present circumstances at home, I'm doing. It's noisy just beyond my bedroom door. Typing this entry is one way I'm adapting to tonight's circumstances. A loud guest visiting someone else in the family disrupts this evening's tranquility.
I've addressed the matter twice. I will again, when I finish this sentence.........................
I expressed my need for rest and a quieter atmosphere. I made a request, they honored it. I invited them to unwind elsewhere. They left, doing so. Out went my earplugs. So, why am I exhausted? Funny that you would ask...........
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A business meeting this morning provided a chance for me to exercise characterological growth I've developed over the past decade. I stood in my integrity. Calmly, courteously and smilingly, I held my ground regarding a position. I've never said it's easy doing so. With practice, it just gets easier. We also get a bit stronger, each time we do so.
I'll continue my thoughts regarding this matter Sunday in the afternoon.
In addition, today I heard disconcerting news. Someone I confronted for steamrolling over others in the past has taken on a position of power, in another part of of the Bay Area. I had to process this news. It was like a sock in the gut. No, not the kind you put on your feet.
I like people respected and treated as individuals, who are allowed to exercise their autonomy. Every person's voice is critical. Harmony and consensus is the way to go, I believe.
This will not be the case, with this strong personality in authority. When I heard it, I knew I needed to let go and let God. He'll have to deal with this development. I can't, nor do I want to get involved. I realize some people like being told what to do, especially those who've been traumatized and have low self-esteem, which is the case of the people who will be served by this emotional bully for the next three years.
I'm saddened and troubled. However, I know I've retired my cape years ago. I need to get out of the way and trust God will work out this situation.
My Gratitudes for Tonight:
1. I'm thankful for past examples of others who were gracious when under pressure.
Their modeled behavior was my standard while I was in the center of a debate, during this morning's business meeting. I'm thankful for mentors who've helped me to see a better way of relating with others, when there is tension or differences.
2. I'm grateful for years of practicing boundaries. It helps me to remain calm. Boundaries and keeping perspective allowed me to articulate my position courteously and kindly. I was not caught off-guard.
I like being effective. I'm more effective when I don't sound like a startled Porky Pig, "budabuda, budabuda, bud--ah!" while expressing my opinion during stressful moments, while onstage before others.
3. I like knowing I can say my no as gently as my yes.
4. I was happy spending three hours in the library doing research, finding information that will help me develop my business. The time flew by like minutes.
5. I'm pleased that I took care of myself and went to bed early this evening.
6. I value boundaries: because of them, I was able to write the second half of this post without earplugs.
7. After this post I'll go to bed and enjoy a tranquil, not fitful, night of rest.
Please share your gratitudes. When we communicate, it makes what I do here worthwhile. There were six comments posted this week---I thank each of you who did so. You made it a great week for me.
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