Freedom From Fearful Fantasies That Prevent Dynamic Living 10/6/14

     I love the pro-gress I see with most clients. They are handling a tyrant that lives within.  A dicta-tor, their default mode is.  He us-ually shows up when they are stressed.

    Clients are gain-ing freedom from false fantasies.  Illusions develop-ed in the past---as children---often cloud their per-ceptions of present-day real-ity. It is tinctured by the drama-filled perspective of childhood.

     The behavior of many people reveals these phantoms are every-where.  Life reeks of them.  Unaddressed, they poison our soul. They hamper confidence.  Success will be crippled.

     To enjoy recovery, phantoms of fear must be faced and confronted.

 If we want to overcome passivity or a negative outlook.  It is dan-gerous dwelling within our head.  Especially if false assumptions and paralyzing outdated beliefs suck out whatever courage we have.

      Yielding to them, our relapses will be many.  Our growth will be sparse.

"The damage done in childhood cannot be undone, since we can-not change anything in our past. We can, however, change ourselves. 

"We can repair ourselves, gaining our lost integrity by choosing to look closely at the knowledge stored inside our bodies, bringing this knowledge closer to our awareness. This path is not easy.  But it is the only route to leaving behind the cruel, invisible prison of [the abusive aspects of] our childhood."                               Alice Miller, The Drama of the Gifted Child, The Search for the True Self,  2. 

     Ignoring the past is to not see how it frequently influences present actions.  The shadow of the past will continue haunting our present lives, whether we are aware of its impact or not.  It is living from the perspective of our wounded childish selves, not aware that this reality of youth no longer exists.

"[It is] living in their repres-sed childhood situation.... They are continuing to fear and avoid dangers that, al-though once real, have not been real for a long time."              Drama, 2. 

      I help clients learn how to stay present.  They use the strength and principles learned from sessions. Their adult, stronger self stays with the vulnerable little self.  They comfort the child within.  When this happens, it often the first time this little one has received comfort dur-ing a time of stress.

     I love the work I do.  I thought I'd give you a window into its nature.

*****

My Gratitudes for Today: 
1.  I love taking care of me, something I didn't do for decades.  It is critical tending to the little guy who lives within me.  I'm letting him have fun, too.
2.  I was present with someone, expressing my voice, hurts and values.  There was no effort at manipulating the outcome.  I tried discovering

it, instead.
3.  I love the clarity of mind I have by living by healthy principles.
4.  I experienced disappointment recently.  I was hap-py seeing my reaction: none. I did not react. I respond-ed.  Key to happiness is learning it is our job, dealing with life's disappointments.  It is not anyone else's.  No one can make me happy, sad, angry, fearful or any other feeling without me giving them permission to do so. (Paths to Recovery, p 13, penultimate paragraph.)

      My feelings are my respon-sibility.  Other people's emo-tions are theirs.  And never shall the twain intersect.

      That only happens when I am boundaryless.  Or if I am co-dependent.  I am neither.

       I am responsive to, but not responsible for the feelings of others.  I take responsibility for my feelings.

How About You?
    What are your three gratitudes for today?  You heard mine.  When you post comments here, you add to the community we share.