Tuesday, February 12

Happiness Is a Choice, Part I, Also, Being Right-Sized---Key for Unity 2/12/13


    I'm leaving a copy of this post, in the off chance you didn't visit this inn when I wrote it a few years ago.

      Placing our mind on our treasures, counting our blessings, is a great way to have an
Attitude of Gratitude.  The Innkeeper 

     Today is wonderful; the weather is lovely.  This morning, the skies showered the region, scrubbing the air and refreshing it.  I'm mindful of a quote:
 "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."  
Abraham Lincoln echoed this sentiment when he said, 
"Happiness requires very little, it's all in our way of thinking."  [And, I would add, in the choices we make.]
          I choose to be grateful.  I am full of hope.  I look backward with thankfulness and forward with eager anticipation.  I'm thankful because I know I'm not alone.   I know God's love.

         I bathe in His acceptance of me.  It strengthens my heart, knowing grace, not judgment or resignation.  Not only am bonded with God, but I'm connected.  I have braided relationships with others. I am loved unconditionally.

         A  fortunate man, I am.  I'm not pollyannaish. (read here for more.)  There's warfare in the world.  Many are hungry.  Daily, abuse is pervasive throughout this earth.

        I'm mindful of these facts and that many nowadays are without work.  Despite these realities, I know a loving God.  He is still in charge.  He continues to answer prayer.  I know a Power greater than ourselves who provides the sanity and serenity we seek.

        I know my vision for my life.  I'm fulfilling it.  Loved by family.   Embraced by grace, patience and support by friends.  That is my reality.  Life doesn't get richer than that.
“Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self- gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose."                   Helen Keller
       How are you?  I'm amazed on what we choose to focus on. Yes, there are problems engulfing us. Complaining doesn't solve them.

       I find sweeping our porch a better option.  Doing so, the world becomes tidier.  Spewing bile may offer temporary release.  Doing what we can about the issue, is a constructive alternative; "Let it begin with me."

       It surprises me how much we stay in our mind.  We  analyze without taking action.  I had a classical and thorough education.  Still I find I use analysis to make sense of the nonsensical.  It is striving to control the uncontrollable.

       That's futility.  It is insanity.  I know it's chic to be critical, sophisticated to be sassy.  I'd rather fill my heart with love.  I prefer to praise the good things life provides.

        Don't you agree?  My guess is yes, or you wouldn't be reading these silent words.

        The is a problem with focusing on the problem. It is not only a downer.  The problem is that we are focusing on the problem.  With that viewpoint, of course, it is easy to get upset.   I'd rather look at the alternatives as to what I can do.  That's remaining in the solution.
 "All the beautiful [or critical] sentiments in the world weigh less than a single lovely action."    James Russel Lowell
          Negativity is not always the result of an astute analytical mind.  Anyone can complain.  That's being consumed with negativity.  Many of us are not aware our negativity often has nothing to with our assessment skills. 

         Our viewpoints are often a result of having a heart filled with blame.  

         If not blame, it is shame.  It not that it was growing up in a home filled with guilt or judgment.  We are critics because we were not nurtured.  We are continuing a negative legacy.  Often it is generational.
       
          Our negative nature was passed down to us from the previous generation.  The legacy of growing up in a toxic home. One that was negative, depressive and critical.

         In  such an environment, we were groomed into being critical.  We see life through our Victim Story, like our parents saw theirs.  Our downcast perspective is what we saw modeled in our home.  It was what we felt and experienced as children.  What children learn is not so much what is taught.  It is more a result of what was caught.

        Negativity then becomes a part of our cognitive DNA.   We feel the wrongness of  life.  It becomes the way we view this world.  Its how we see ourselves. And those around us.  We are enveloped with the black haze of depressive life.

        Our thinking is the result of the bleak circumstances of our childhood.
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."      Philippians. 4:8.
This is my perspective. It is what makes me the innkeeper of this place.  My mind and emotions focuses upon the blessings and treasures life offers me. In keeping with that theme, here are....

My Gratitudes for Today
1.  I'm meeting with someone tonight. I look forward to our time. Whenever I talk with this person we really connect. I like the authenticity and the transparency we share. It's wonderful experiencing closeness with a healthy person.
2.  I enjoy serving others. I tend to roses burned and browned by strife. It's satisfying that I am able to help others "get it." They learn how to overcome what once were overwhelming emotional or mental obstacles.

Being Right-Sized

     I believe God gave us two ears and one mouth because it was meant for us to use them in that proportion. When I talk I am only speaking what I know.  If I shut up, when with others----an not insist only saying what's on my mind----I may hear something new.  I'm often smarter than I was before listening to that person.
3. I had an open conversation with a friend.  The openness, thoughtfulness and honesty we had met my need for connecting on an intimate level.
4. I appreciate patience.  It allows me to slow down. When life engulfs me, urgent but not important demand my attention. They try to distract me from doing the important, but not urgent.  Turning things over to God, letting Him carry the burdens of my life makes it more bearable, less frightening and increases my patience.
Related Posts:
Getting Beyond Disappointment 
"Happiness is a Choice"  Part II

3 comments:

Vanessa Higgins said...

I truly love your passion. I agree that happiness is a choice. It can be hard though when the mind takes over and cannot seem to stop feeding in negative thoughts, like in a depression. In those times, you need to hear positivity from others and hope some of it seeps through.

Pablo said...

Vanessa,

What a great way to start my day----seeing a comment from you!

It's important for us to continually develop and expand our network of emotionally healthy, discerning, wise, mature friends, aka "Balcony People".

It also helps when we develop our relationship with the God of our understanding. He loves all of us and is actually gentle and supportive as we travel this journey of life, which can have its ups and downs.

Thumper said...

Hi Pablo,

I have been working hard to focus on all of the blessings that I do have instead of complaining about those things that I do not have. I find that when I focus on the good and the beauty I feel lighter, happier and more at ease. I am learning that happiness is a choice and it is not determined by the external.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.

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