Thursday, July 25

Tactfulness: Making a Point Without Making an Enemy............ 7/25/13

     How are you?

Barely got this post in before this day became Friday.  I just awoke from four hours of slumber.  Whew.  My mind shut down, upon arriving home.  It was depleted from a day of intense work.

     Today required every bit of my
creativity.  Each session was a performance, where---processing each client's needs--- I exhausted my mental and emotional resources. Coasting home on fumes, relying on the last bits of my strength, I stumbled to bed before blacking out.

      Rest, my friend, thank you for your comforting presence.

My Gratitudes for Tonight:
1.   Last night was a magnificent time with friends. God was there, along with love, laughter, honesty, vulnerability and practical insight from all who shared.
2.   I took a stand, encouraging the group to use literature to support our discussions.
3.  If not careful, I can wear myself out.  Such times, like today, reinforce the need for boundaries. They are not for others to adhere to; they exist for me to exercise, for my welfare, sanity and serenity.
4.  Tomorrow, I'm meeting with a dear friend I've known since twelve.  He even named a son after me.

       In a letter, he told me I "never" got back to him.  I wrote him, thanking him for his missive, for it allowed me to know his values.  I followed that comment by telling him I was uncomfortable with his letter, before suggesting what we could do tomorrow.

      In the postscript I wrote: "would it be possible for us to use words other than 'always' and 'never.' " (They are the two adverbs of self-righteousness, although, I did not say this in my letter.)  I continued, "These words imply criticism. They do not provide the ease I would like us to have in our friendship."

     Within two minutes of sending it, he called.  His voice was kind, even warm, which is unusual for this normally abrupt fellow who is a vice-president of a major corporation. Tomorrow it is.

 Fifth Gratitude: I'm thankful for having my voice, for standing for my dignity----saying what I mean, meaning what I say, but not saying it meanly.

How About You?

What are important boundaries for you?  How good are you at adhering to them? What are ways that you stand for your dignity?

Let me hear from you. Please tell me your answers, I love it when we have dialogue. 


Carl H said...

On this Saturday night, I am grateful for...

1. A powerfully moving talk on "The Family as the School of Love" by Father Tom Bonacci of the Interfaith Peace Project, at our monthly Community of Faith breakfast this morning. In fact, as the MC, I was so speechless and overwhelmed with emotion when Fr. Tom finished, I had to ask our pastor to come up to continue the program!

2. Some quality mid-day lunch-time today with my 89 year old Mom, together with my (formerly petulant)#3 son.

3. A heart-warming, robustly humorous and most meaningful gathering of some 25 couples to celebrate our 31st Wedding Anniversary tonight at a well-known and loved, local Italian Restaurant in Oakland; (their Calamari Steak is to die for!).

4. The joy of sharing some (clean) classic Henny Youngman one-liners, (one of the greatest Jewish comics of the 20th Century) to the delight of a select few in tonight's audience who could catch the brilliance of his dry-wit! While I may have sort-of "died on stage..." some were delighted, and that was enough for me!

Pablo said...

Hi Carl,

Boy, am I glad when you drop by. Really. You've intrigued me with your comments about Father Tom. My curiosity is piqued by a priest speaking about family, especially since he isn't married. Wish I was there to hear him.

What's the name of the restaurant in Oakland; that's not far from my place. I'm interested in finding a new place to visit.

I appreciate the joy you bring to others. That's one of your gifts. Thanks for being you!

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From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

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