Tuesday, July 2

Calmness in the Eye of the Emotional Storm, Part II, Revisited. Triumphing Over Stress ........7/2/13

I wrote this nine months ago. Today's topic is important, especially for those going through stress.  Let me hear from you.

      The past few months have been a inspiring time of personal growth and learning.  More importantly, its been a time where I've seen the value of
nurturing the formerly wounded child that once dominated my emotions whenever I felt threatened.  This summer, during intense negative circumstances, I had equanimity.

       What a change.

       Now, I'm at peace in areas that once were susceptible to fear, especially in areas that remember painful youthful experiences.  Thankfully, a positive, affirming love fills the void once occupied by apprehension.  My emotional vitality is the fruit of diligent hard work for more than nine years.

        In that time, I've planted, grew and nurtured healthy relationships.  I used the seeds of adhering to boundaries and principles.  The harvest of emotional ease and safety, knowing closeness and delighting in authentic, intimate relationships----that are not sexualized, allows for intimacy of the soul that few know and has sated my emotional belly.  It's also a relief, being delivered from the mental and emotional disease of codependency.

       This emotional maturity is marvelous, making me the happy innkeeper I am.  This love, given to me by God, family and dear friends----my Balcony People----provides emotional stability, serenity and safety, enabling me to push through difficult times.

       Something else has helped, too.  I'm taking care of my vulnerable self, nurturing and strengthening this part of me.  It's disturbing how frequently conditional love is doled out by parents----"if you jump through hoops---- perform well----we'll approve of you."  Sadly, this is the experience of many, growing up.

        Doing well in school, sports, playing a musical instrument, success---in whatever way a parent considered "well"----was necessary, if a child was to be praised. That's tragic.  Children unconsciously absorb this mentality, carrying unhealthy beliefs into adulthood. Many are culturally coerced into codependency, trained to be externally referented. Yes, that is a word.  For more about this subject, please read any of these links.

      Children, and others, should not be treated like little monkeys wearing flat-topped caps who must dance, before the organ grinder of life feeds them peanuts of praise.

      I'm thrilled my sons have a different legacy.  They are loved simply because of who they are.  That's it.  If they never accomplish anything---my love for them would not diminish, they same holds true for my friends.

      I cherish my three sons unconditionally. The bond shared is my most treasured earthly privilege, along with the loving relationship I have with the God of my understanding.

      As  young man of fourteen, I encountered a loving, gracious and forgiving God.  He's been with me ever since.  I'm thankful for my walk with the Almighty, without it, I would not be who I am.

 Calmness In the Eye of the Storm

   Those on a boat, overwhelmed by the severe tossing of a hellacious storm, have two responses--- be agitated, distracted, and panic, or keep their cool, and do what's necessary to make it to shore.

        Who do you think will be most successful in overcoming the situation?  You are right, the one who keeps his wits. This summer, that's been my response when engulfed by upsetting circumstances that forcefully foisted themselves upon my psyche and feelings.

        My mantra has been, "Don't think, just put one foot in front of the other. It works.  Am I glad.  I've accomplished more than I thought possible, by persevering, exercising patience towards my limitations and the characterological areas needing growth.  I overcame challenges.  I focused on healthy alternatives that transcended vulnerabilities and behaviors that once defeated me.

        Ya ay!

        It feels good, being loved, supported and undergirded by a loving God and good friends---my  Balcony People.  It's even better finding a safe harbor.  I've moved beyond the rough seas that once tossed and disturbed my serenity and joy.

My Gratitudes for this Lovely Day:
1. I'm thankful for God's provision.  Neither my job nor my paycheck are my provision.  God is.
2. I rode my bike today with someone I mentor.  It was a rigorous and windy ride, but good.
3. I'll sleep well tonight. Exercise always helps me rest. It gets me tuckered out.
4. I had a terrific time of fellowship this evening with my mentee.
5. I did not get angry, this evening while with someone who constantly complains (not the person I mentor).
6. I love having priorities and the order they create.  They help me to focus on action that will produce the greatest bang for the time I invest.

How About You?
Are you finding yourself at peace with yourself? If so, what helps you to know tranquility?
Let me hear from you, your voice is important to me.


Vanessa Higgins said...

I absolutely love your analogy about the dancing monkeys. I know I am hard wired that way. I desire approval like bananas…hey that fits!

Theresa Elander said...

As I am being kinder to myself, I am experiencing more peace. When I find myself judging myself or others I remind myself that I am doing the best that I can and others do the best that they can. It quiets the harsh inner voice.

I am purposely trying to relax about the future and the worries I have had there. Remembering, instead, that all I have is this moment, this day, helps calm me as well.

Pablo said...

Are there other alternatives, outside of yourself, that help you in your efforts at being gentler, kinder, towards yourself?

Thank you for your comments. I'm in agreement with you, all we have is this very moment. Tomorrow never comes, because when it does, it's today.

I appreciate you stopping by, reading and sharing what's alive within you!

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.