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| I shaIl pass through this world but once. Any good I can do,any kindness I can show to anybody, let me do it now & not defer it. For I shall not pass this way again. Stephen Grellet Image: "Countryside: Mysterious Lane" by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted photo, all rights reserved. |
Whew! I had a busy weekend. I wasn't available, here, at the inn. Yesterday, there was a big event that extended beyond the sum of my
experiences.
Disappointed and Disturbed
Saturday, I went to a cultural event with seven others. It lasted from 6:00 p.m. until midnight. It was a banquet followed by live music and singers. In retrospect, it would have been better if I had stayed
home. More transpired, while I was there, than I ever imagined, when I agreed to attend.
experiences.
Disappointed and Disturbed
Saturday, I went to a cultural event with seven others. It lasted from 6:00 p.m. until midnight. It was a banquet followed by live music and singers. In retrospect, it would have been better if I had stayed
home. More transpired, while I was there, than I ever imagined, when I agreed to attend.
Deceit is disappointing; I value honesty and authenticity. That was in short supply yesterday, by one person in the party eight of who went with us. It is surprising----disappointing----when someone is deliberately insincere. It becomes more irritating when a person who is this way thinks others won't notice their duplicity.
"White lies are at the other end of the spectrum of deception from lies in a serious crisis. They are the most common and the most trivial forms that duplicity can take. The fact that they are so common provides their protective coloring. And their very triviality, when compared to more threatening lies, makes it seem unnecessary or even absurd to condemn them. "
Sissela Bok, Lying: Moral Choice in Public and Private Life, ch. 5, Random House (1979).
I'll talk with this person soon. I'll share my concerns. Better yet, I'll mention the needs not met by this person's behavior.
I needed to vent. I'm not sharing my feelings to startle you. I'm asking your feedback. You are in a calmer place than me: you didn't experience the deceit and manipulation. Thanks for listening. I'd be even more grateful if you have any support for the innkeeper.
How do you handle it, when you find yourself in the same place?
...............
I needed to vent. I'm not sharing my feelings to startle you. I'm asking your feedback. You are in a calmer place than me: you didn't experience the deceit and manipulation. Thanks for listening. I'd be even more grateful if you have any support for the innkeeper.
How do you handle it, when you find yourself in the same place?
...............
Today, I was busy. I saw three clients. I worked until 9:00 p.m. That usually doesn't happen on Sundays, but I'm not complaining. Fortunately, the outcomes for each were positive. I so love ending sessions that are inspirational, constructive and healing, like today.
However, my work deplete me. I put a lot of energy into my labors tonight, along with writing plenty of notes during each appointment.
My Gratitudes for Sunday:
1. The weather was grand. Warm, beautiful, no humidity. I rode my bike to my appointments, dressed up and all!
2. I paced myself today. I took a nap in the afternoon before joining friends for dinner.
3. I was treated to dinner with a married couple and their family. It worked out great---I was able to be with them in the early afternoon, before I worked.
4. I played the guitar at this couple's place, they had one laying nearby. It has been awhile since I have. I love the soothing music it provides. Music comforts my soul, it stills my spirit.
5. One of tonight's clients is introducing me to two others. I'll be seeing these new clients in the next few weeks. I'm thankful for connections with others.
6. I love my job. I'm thrilled I'm able to do what I love doing. I'm even happier that I'm making my life count. I'm glad that I help others overcome life's challenges.
7. I'm glad that I no longer accept unacceptable behavior. This week, I'll talk with someone who disappointed me yesterday, at the cultural event.
So, How About You?
1. How do you respond to disappointment? Do you ignore it? Do you get angry? Do you rationalize away your feelings?
2. How do you handle unacceptable behavior in others, when you encounter it? Yep, I'm asking for advice.
3. How did you invest in yourself this weekend? For me, I took a nap, rode my bike, had fellowship and shared a meal with friends.
However, my work deplete me. I put a lot of energy into my labors tonight, along with writing plenty of notes during each appointment.
My Gratitudes for Sunday:
1. The weather was grand. Warm, beautiful, no humidity. I rode my bike to my appointments, dressed up and all!
2. I paced myself today. I took a nap in the afternoon before joining friends for dinner.
3. I was treated to dinner with a married couple and their family. It worked out great---I was able to be with them in the early afternoon, before I worked.
4. I played the guitar at this couple's place, they had one laying nearby. It has been awhile since I have. I love the soothing music it provides. Music comforts my soul, it stills my spirit.
5. One of tonight's clients is introducing me to two others. I'll be seeing these new clients in the next few weeks. I'm thankful for connections with others.
6. I love my job. I'm thrilled I'm able to do what I love doing. I'm even happier that I'm making my life count. I'm glad that I help others overcome life's challenges.
7. I'm glad that I no longer accept unacceptable behavior. This week, I'll talk with someone who disappointed me yesterday, at the cultural event.
So, How About You?
1. How do you respond to disappointment? Do you ignore it? Do you get angry? Do you rationalize away your feelings?
2. How do you handle unacceptable behavior in others, when you encounter it? Yep, I'm asking for advice.
3. How did you invest in yourself this weekend? For me, I took a nap, rode my bike, had fellowship and shared a meal with friends.
Posts
6 comments:
I have to inventory my behavior first. And if I am okay with my actions, then I tell a person what I am feeling. I am honest and then let it go. I don't want to accept unacceptable behavior nor do I want to build a resentment.
It is unfortunate people exist in the world with character defects like the one you mentioned. I know you don't take it personally, it is a reflection of their own character.
You have a right to free yourself from any situation that interferes with you having a pleasant experience. ODAT page 13.
It sounds like you plan to stand in your power and have a plan on how you will deal with this individual. God has given you all you need so how important is it that this bug smashed on your windshield. Is not the kind of person you would have as a friend. You are a gift and treasured by your true friends and I like riding bikes and getting out the frustration of dealing with unacceptable others. It works well to ride around with a friend and feel the breeze blow away the noise that not so kind others create. You have it made with all your talents and gifts. Faith in God is a shield from the unpleasant, unkind, unfriendly, ungodly, awful and you name it kind of person who would do a thing like you mentioned.
I just have to ask if you think saying something is necessary. I am curious what you expect to accomplish and what is the motive behind speaking to an individual with such bad manners. I know you will think before speaking and the result will be in God's hands. Let me know how it goes.
I am planning my day and grateful I have gOD TO ASK FOR GUIDANCE AND INSPIRATION.
I am grateful last night I had time to do an inventory of myself and look at how I related with others.
I am grateful asking God to guide me is working and my life is getting better from working at the 12 step program.
Syd,
I agree with you, word-for-word. It sure frees our emotions from resentment, bitterness or being hurt, when we express our feelings, letting go of the outcome of what happens next.
Letting go is a form of forgiveness. I like the saying, "forgiving is not forgetting, it's letting go of the hurt."
Thanks for your comments, always practical. Sometimes, life's solutions are are pretty simple
Have a terrific day!
Dear Anonymous,
It helps that I don' take personally the behavior of others. Their actions are a statement about them, and their worldview. You are right. Exercise relieves the stresses of life, including the unacceptable behavior of others.
Yes, it's important saying something.
What is not important is the reply. When I speak, I keep the focus on me. I express my needs. I'm not interested in changing anyone. That's not my job. I'm not God, nor would I want to be. (That's another story.)
In a conflict, if I say something, there's a chance of the situation improving. If I say nothing, there is NO chance of things getting better.
Saying my truth, kindly, allows me to have integrity. I don't need to accomplish anything, at least, in an external way. That's not my goal.
Most satisfying achievements deal with the healing and growth of our inner selves---our character. This includes learning how to have our needs met while being respectful and kind towards another.
Anonymous,
Are you the the anonymous who posted the previous comment? My guess is yes, but I don't like assuming.
I appreciate your three gratitudes.
How do you know when you have God's guidance? Really, I'm curious. I like learning from others.
What were the results of last night's inventory, if you don't mind sharing. Don't worry, you have total anonymity here.
I'm happy hearing your life is improving. Thanks for sharing your experience, strength and hope. I like the positivity you add to this inn!
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